For the Love of Writing...(Closed for TeaganOS)

[barefootgirl69]

Hey, there! Let me introduce myself to you, and then I want to tell you a little secret that I have going on in my life. My name is Julie Hawkins. I love that name. I couldn’t have chosen a better name if I had, well, chosen it myself! I’m a pretty average person, recently divorced, single mom here in Savannah, Georgia. That’s not my secret, though.

Most of my friends don’t know this, and the only friends that do are the ones I’ve met online at this erotic story site. Most people there, though, simply know me as LittleSunshineGirl. No one, absolutely no one in my “real” life knows that I’m on this site. They’d be shocked. I can see it now… “Julie is on an adult site, what is she thinking? She’s going to Hell for sure, this time!” And, they’re probably right, but I’m not going to waste time thinking about it.

The funny part is that they aren’t the only ones shocked. I’ve made a few really good friends here online that are on my Facebook, they’ve seen me in pictures, we’ve planned on meeting in Real Life one day and celebrating our divorces. They were shocked to see that someone with such a naughty little mind could look so innocent – and that tickles me to no end!

Several months ago, I did something on a whim, totally different than what I’ve ever done before. Granted, I was a little disgruntled about things, but I never usually put myself out there. Here’s what happened that day that led up to where I am now.

~~

I was in bed reading a story on a website called Literotica. I hadn’t been a member for too long, but I enjoyed the stories and I enjoyed the boards where you could meet and chat with people.

I put the Ipad down on the bed beside me with a groan. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a good one. Once again, I was reading a story and the flow of it was interrupted because it didn't make sense. I’d read it over several times already, in several other places of this story, in fact. If they had used punctuation or an editor, I could have really gotten into this story like I wanted. This isn’t the first time or the second. I was annoyed! I had wanted something to read that would push me over the edge so I could sleep - there I was, left unsatisfied, again. I decided it was time to look at being a volunteer editor. I’m not perfect, but I knew I could help someone, if only to place commas in the proper spot, so they could enjoy a good…read!

So, that’s exactly what I did! I filled out the information in the Volunteer Editor section and immediately forgot about it for several weeks. One day, I opened my email and found several requests to do some editing. This was great, and I’ve done quite a bit since that time.

Recently, though, I’ve been very picky about accepting other jobs. Life has gotten busy, and since I’m writing more in the Sexual Role Play board, I didn’t want to take on more than I could realistically do.

That didn’t stop me from answering an email from someone who was intending to write several chapters, though. Someone who was looking for more than help with punctuation and spelling at the end of their writing. This person wanted input from a female perspective as he wrote! This was an opportunity for something new, and I loved the idea. I wrote him back and we decided to try the first chapter.

~~

I’ll share some more things with you. It didn’t end with just that message. I don’t know where this is going to go, if it goes anywhere. Sometimes you can look down a road and see for miles, and you know where you’re going and what’s up ahead. This road, though, it has some bends up ahead, and I can’t see around the corner. I do see some beauty along the way, though, and it makes me want to continue walking, bare feet and all. I hope you’ll want to share the journey with us.

 

[TeaganOS]

“That’s just not right!” I push myself from the keyboard and stand up, pacing the floor as I ponder. “A real woman just...,” my head shakes in complete disgust with my inadequacies as a writer. How did I have ever think I could write an erotic romance novel that both women and men can relate to... that both could enjoy? Especially one that includes two main female characters? “Women just don’t look at things the same way we do.”

I sit down at my computer once more, hands running through my hair like I’m going to rip it out at the roots and I erase an entire section of the story that I had just spent the better part of an hour crafting. There’s no doubt… I need help with this. I need… a woman… yes, for that reason too… I’ve been single and alone for way too long now. No Oliver, focus… what I need is her perspective on my characters, on their actions, on the story.

Thrilled to find an editor section on this new website, Literotica, that I am writing for, I peruse the offers. There are literally hundreds of them! At least I had some specifics to work with though. Last update in 2016... females only… accepts romance… hmmm, interracial too, I shrug. My main two girls are Latina sisters and the guy’s white so that counts as interracial I guess… and search.

As a professional computer programmer, I’d like to point out that the options for reviewing editors is rather… archaic. Sifting through profile after profile, a headache forming from reading so many profiles, I finally come upon a few possibilities that just might work. Then I come across her… she’s the one... my absolute favorite because she talks about doing more than just grammar, willing to offer feedback, suggestions, etc.

“Dear LittleSunshineGirl,

I’m Oliver Moreau…” wait, that’s the whole point of usernames… scratch that. “I’m LePetitPrince and I’m looking for an editor of a multi-chapter novel that is basically romance but also includes elements of polyamory, interracial (Hispanic/white) and exhibitionism/voyeurism. I’m pretty confident with my writing grammar but what I am really looking for is a woman’s point of view, some insight and some reader feedback with perhaps a few suggestions. Can you help me?”

My heart races in my chest as I send off the email. I know it’s foolish to put all my hopes in one person, especially on a volunteer site like this so I go ahead and send a few more emails to the others on my list. I really hope LittleSunshineGirl answers me though. She sounds perfect for what I need… and really smart!

It wasn’t immediate, but close enough as I open my email to see a reply from LittleSunshineGirl offering to help me out. “Yes!” I jump out of my chair, fisting bumping the air in my excitement. There’s just something about her profile that speaks to me, that tells me this is going to work out well. I don’t know what it is… I don’t know why, but I just know that having her on board as my editor is definitely the best thing I could ever do for my story.

“Dear LittleSunshineGirl,

Please find attached Chapter 1 to ‘For the Love of Two Sisters’, my polyamory erotic romance story that I told you about. I’m really excited to hear your feedback and thoughts on it. Remember, I need the reader’s point of view, especially from the female side. Thank you in advance.

LePetitPrince.”

~~

The actual written story can be found here
https://www.literotica.com/s/for-the-love-of-two-sisters-ch-01

 

[barefootgirl69]

Supper is almost done, I need to call the kids in and get them washed up so we can eat, but I want to check that notification first; that blinking light is so distracting! Sitting down in the kitchen with my Galaxy Note S3 - God, I love this thing! It will be a long time before I replace it! I see that it’s an email from LePetitPrince and that he’s attached a file of his story. It didn’t take him long at all to get this to me, I assume he must be in a hurry to get it back.

I know part of that is my fault for not answering his request right away. I honestly didn’t know it was there, because I hadn’t checked that email account in a week. Please, don’t ask how many email accounts I have, a girl has to have some secrets, you know?

With dinner out of the way, I sit down at the laptop and open up Yahoo to get to his message and download the story. It’s not too long, and I think I can get this done tonight. I like how it flows, and he’s right – there’s not much grammar that I have to worry about. At first, I thought that was an arrogant comment, but now I see his point. I don’t need to bother with it, and I can focus on the other things.

It really doesn’t take long to go through and edit his chapter. Sure, there are some problems with commas and maybe a few other things as well, but overall, it is pretty well written. Not to mention that I like the story, it's different than what I've been editing these past few months. His desire for the maid intrigues me because he was shy about it, almost afraid; the writer catches that. No, the writer crafted that, and I'm totally impressed. Once I started, I didn't want to stop reading until it was completely done. I'm glad that I wrote back to him, and I'm glad that he still wants to use me as an editor!

Sending an email back to him with a list of things to change, I forget about it. Until I get another email a few days later. He is writing Chapter Two, and he’s looking for some feedback.

 

[TeaganOS]

“Damn, she’s quick… and perfect!” I skim through the responses to my recent questions. I had sent LittleSunshineGirl an excerpt from Chapter Two, the first somewhat racy interaction between the main characters in my story. Would the female readers scoff at the girls’ reactions as being unbelievable? Would a woman ever actually do what they did given the personalities and difficulties presented to them? What about Hispanic women? Did they act different from other women in this? She not only had answered the questions quickly, but she gave very helpful insight into the workings of the elusive female mind. I have gold in my hands now!

Pumped and completely renewed of confidence, I finish the chapter out in a single night. The following scene, long as it was, depended so much on her answer and now LittleSunshineGirl had effectively given me the green light. My fingers fly over the keyboard, typing just as fast as the vision reveals itself. Seriously, I sometimes type with my eyes closed so I can see exactly what’s happening in my mind. The story literally tells itself, using me as its voice while I desperately try to put my vivid imagination into words the readers can truly feel. I want them feel the nerves of my protagonist, the excitement of the situation, the tears of his pleading maid and finally the love and doubt in his heart.

Immediately I want to send it to her, to get her thoughts, to read her feedback. She seems so enthusiastic about my story and there’s nothing more that an author can ask for but that. Still, I hold off, knowing that I’ll want to edit it with fresh eyes the next day. I had promised her in the beginning that she needn’t worry for my grammar, so I had to make sure it was absolutely perfect.

A few wording choice changes and a couple of misspellings due to not watching the screen as I typed and the chapter is ready to go. My heart pounding with anxiety, nerves and a bit of pride, I send it off to LittleSunshineGirl in hopes that she’ll find it just as enjoyable as the first chapter… or even more.

“I’m enjoying it,” she starts in her reply, my heart soaring through the roof upon reading those beautiful words. A few questions about why the first sister thought of the protagonist to help so quickly which I note down, planning to answer more thoroughly in Chapter Three. “Comma, comma, comma…” I skim quickly through her notes, thinking how much I really need to learn the real rules of commas instead of relying of just the feel. “Comma, comma… Oh my God, be still my beating heart!” My jaw drops to the floor as I re-read her small comment over and over again.

“I was going to add commas, but they are text messages, and I think only nerds like me use proper punctuation in texts LOL,” she wrote. Unbelievable… she’s a self-proclaimed nerd-girl!
I lean back, my head looking at the ceiling as my pulse suddenly races. My imagination instantly flows through images; a short, blond girl with glasses, hair like the sunshine in her name, a few freckles on her cheeks, maybe her hair in a ponytail, even a little red ribbon tied in it as she carries around a book or two in her hands all day long. Nerd-girls drive me completely CRAZY, in that innocent, smart-that-becomes totally sexy way!

“I have to know this girl!” my head shoots back up toward the screen, re-reading the message one last time. If she was anything like my imagination was painting, she was my version of perfection. “But how?” I know that I can’t just send a message to her requesting a picture… we’re two complete strangers who just happen to be collaborating on a story after all. Maybe a written description? “Hmmm, I was wondering… would you mind describing yourself to me?” I shake my head, knowing all too well that’s never going to work either. There’s nothing I can think of that doesn’t come across as a complete socially-awkward desperate nerd… which I’m not, but can sometimes come across that way... and I definitely don’t want to jeopardize the good thing I have going with her as my editor.

Pacing the floor for what seems like hours though I think it was really only a few minutes, I finally decide to just reply to her about the comments and make only the smallest reference to her self-description. “You make some very valid points…” I start, going into elaboration about her questions of the characters and thanking her for all the hard work she put into it. I add some comments about how I love that she’s enjoying the story so much and as a closer, I add my small comment just to see what she says. “PS: nerd girls are the best kind of girls!” It’s harmless enough, right?

 

[barefootgirl69]

I look over and notice that the blue light is flashing on my phone. I really should be working, but it won’t hurt to check it out quickly, if only to get the light to stop distracting me. I see that it’s a message from LaPetitePrince, I hope there’s no trouble with this list that I sent him. A little worried, I open it up and read it; by the time I finish, I have a huge grin on my face. ‘Nerd girls, huh?’

Suddenly, two songs pop into my head…one dedicated to me last summer by a friend, 'Nothin' Like You' by Dan+Shay. I look it up on YouTube and listen. Nerd girls are the best girls.

I’m not the kind of nerd girl that’s into video games, so I hope that isn’t what he’s thinking. Especially if he’s anything like the main character in his story. Maybe I should have referred to myself as a Grammar Nazi or someone who just appreciates when something is written well enough that I don’t have to pause to figure out what in the world they’re trying to say.

Don’t get me wrong, I love when something is written in a way that shows how they are speaking, when it’s appropriate. As long as it makes sense, that’s why I mentioned the text messages in his story. I had already been editing another story that had some text messaging in it, as well; I figured I should be consistent!

But, he did make me smile. Not just with how he ended his message, but by his enthusiasm for his story. He was like a kid in a candy shop, and it was a bit infectious. I like the questions he’s asking, so that he gets things right, or at least a bit of a female mindset, if only mine!

Still, I’m just an editor, and he’s just a writer, and I smile and go back to work.

 

[TeaganOS]

To be honest, I am a little disappointed that I didn’t hear back from LittleSunshineGirl on my nerd-girl comment. Then again, thinking about it closely, what exactly had I expected her to say? Trying to set the idea aside and keep focus only on my story, I push forward with Chapter 3 but quickly I run into spots where a woman’s input is completely necessary.

I am just dying to ask her questions about herself, to get to know her a little more but since she hadn’t replied at all to the email with the comment, I keep the inquiries strictly about the story at a professional level. Again, she’s simply magnificent; replying within hours if not minutes to my call for help and letting me continue forward uninterrupted. That’s when the idea hits me… I need to describe the second sister still and perhaps I can work it into the story so that the first sister can be the one to do it. It’s completely reasonable and more importantly, it gives me the perfect excuse!

“Dear LittleSunshineGirl,

Time for some input on your part if you don't mind. Can you explain to me how a girl would go about describing another girl? No lesbian attractions between them; nothing like that. Let’s just say that you were describing yourself to a girl friend on the internet that you had never met and you didn't have a webcam or phone. How would you go about that description? Can you send me a sample writing?

LePetitePrince.”

I wait… and wait… my heart pounding anxiously, my hands sweating for hours without a reply from her. Did she see right through my disguised ploy? Had I overstepped the boundaries between writer and editor? Had I simply gone too far? Wow, I sound so much like the main character of my story, I even write down my thoughts as they are definitely similar to feelings he will experience with his own love interest. Finally, while out shopping for groceries and putting them into my car, I receive her reply and it’s a long one!

She talks about women describing themselves in general, using a little self-deprecation and thus answering my question quite thoroughly. It was a huge help and probably would have been sufficient for my writing needs but then she goes on to give me exactly what I was hoping for. “Well, physically, I'm short and petite - barely 5'. And, I look like a librarian; glasses, innocent looking face (that’s what I’m told anyway), freckles, Carolina blue eyes, and my hair is brown with a few red highlights through it.”

Standing in a dark parking lot, a little drizzle of rain falling on my head, wetting my few remaining bags in the grocery cart, I read her description over and over... and over again. My hand is shaking as I focus on the screen of my small phone, the rain drops making it a little difficult to read yet I simply don’t care. The description is… no, she is… just too perfect! Okay, the hair color wasn’t quite the color of sunshine like I had imagined but… she is exactly what I had hoped for… exactly what I had dreamed of. So this is the woman I’ve been talking to all this time? Suddenly I find it hard to breathe, leaning against the wet car while visual images of her start correcting themselves in my mind, changing her blonde hair to brown.

Now my fervor to know her is all the more real… more so than ever before. Someway, somehow, I just have to learn who she truly is as a person because until I do, she may forever just be my fantasy girl… that unreal persona of unattainable perfection in my mind. Yet, here she is before me, writing me in emails on nearly a daily basis. I just have to see what might happen because I’ll always wonder if I don’t.

Quickly storing all the bags in my car, the rain starting to come down a little harder, I finally sit in the front seat and start typing on my phone. It takes an hour and I change it several times, trying to word it just right. I don’t want to scare her off but I don’t want to leave it purely professional any longer either. Just a simple touch of flirting without going overboard… it just has to be perfect! I have to know her!

“LittleSunshineGirl,

I love this insight!” my email begins, keeping to the professional side of my question but soon enough I go for the meat of my message. “Now as for your description, I'm not sure if you are describing yourself truly or somehow you got in my head and described my vision of womanly perfection, lol. I swear that I asked you that question solely for the purpose of a good example but I'll be honest in saying that the short, intellectual, innocent, librarian look has ALWAYS drove me absolutely crazy. There's just not enough girls in the world like you in that sense. I've been dying to find one for me for years now.”

Finally I’m happy with the way that I compliment her without going too far either. There’s no way she can ignore that nor could I figure a way she would become upset by it either. I decide that I can only know her if I let her know a little of me as well so I add a description of my own to the email.

“So since i enjoyed your description far more than i ever planned, to be fair I'll give you a little about me too... if you're curious. I'm a self-proclaimed grammar nazi, a professional computer programmer and a hopeless romantic. Honestly, you can see a LOT of me in Eugene Mendelman from the story though definitely not identical by any means. I’m tall, over 6'5" (though I’ve always had a thing for short women),” I add the last statement hoping my extreme height difference might not put her off, especially if she knew I were actually into the big difference. Short girls like tall guys, right? “I have two-tone eyes of hazel and green with light brown short hair, wear glasses like you and I have an average to athletic build tending to the slim side.”Again I spend a lot of time wording it so as to sound intellectual, attractive and interesting without lying one bit; my goal to possibly interest her in me as much as I was her.

“Anyway, this note was mostly to thank you for the insight. You have been amazingly helpful thus far and I look forward to writing with you for quite some time to come. I hope that maybe we'll become real friends out of this as well. Always look forward to hearing from you, LittleSunshineGirl.

LePetitePrince”

With my heart in my hand, my eyes closed as I pray for whatever fate may bring me of this, I finally push ‘send’ on my phone an hour and a half after starting the message. The parking lot is empty and my car tells me it’s nearing midnight as I finally start driving home. My mind just can’t stay away from the mental image of my fantasy girl. Who is she and what will she say to my email?

~~

The actual Chapter 2 of the story can be found here
https://www.literotica.com/s/for-the-love-of-two-sisters-ch-02

 

[barefootgirl69]

It’s 1030 at night when another message comes through from LePetitePrince, I’m already in bed reading a book when the notifications light starts flashing. I open it up and start to read his message, by the time I get to “I’m not sure is you are describing yourself truly or somehow you got in my head and described my vision of womanly perfection” I am smiling and wondering what this guy is doing.

Seriously, he’s as sweet as sugar, and I’m enjoying the attention…but, let’s face it… we’re on Lit, and most guys are married. Oh, I’m not saying he’s not sincere, but I don’t want to get too involved. I decide to simply enjoy what he’s said, but not respond. Even though he sounds like a very sweet man, I don’t want to encourage him, and there really isn’t a question that was asked that I need to reply to.

Then, a few days later I get another message from him that has the first three scenes of Chapter 3. I know that he plans to write several chapters before he starts submitting them. “Here are the first three scenes of Chapter 3. I’m not done yet but I would really like to get your womanly point of view feedback on the plot and storyline progression thus far.” Oh, there’s more to it. Reality check, suggestions to make the emotions stronger and more vivid for female readers. Don’t worry about grammar or punctuation until the final version. But, since I don’t find this message until the early morning hours, I simply tell him I will read it that afternoon, and go to sleep.

That evening, while I'm reading through the first three scenes, I get another message from him letting me know that he is ready to submit chapter one and wondering if there is anything I've found that 'would require reworking' in the first chapter to 'better foreshadow the story'.

Half an hour later, I'm writing him back telling him that nothing needs to be changed in the first chapter. Then, "I was so glad that you did NOT warn me about this. I was able to get the shock value of it from a first-time reader POV. It's excellent! A very nice twist on things! Nice plot, with a 'sexy' theme but not all 'sex'. Does that make sense? It keeps things erotic, but not overly-done! Bravo! I can't wait to recommend this to my friends!"

Then, because he's been very sweet and has shown an interest, and because I feel a little more comfortable with him, I end it with my name ... ~ Julie

 

[TeaganOS]

I had nearly given up with no response from LittleSunshineGirl about that email where I replied to her description. Obviously, she wasn’t interested in talking with me on a personal level and besides, I figured she probably had a boyfriend or a husband anyway, so even if we did talk, there was nothing that would come of it. That’s just my darn luck; all the pretty nerd-girls are always taken… that had been my difficulties forever. So I’m thinking to just cut my loses and leave things professional between us, being quite thankful to have such an amazing editor to help me out. No matter what, she is one in a million!

My first chapter is ready for submission and I have everything filled out for the very first time on Literotica, my nerves a total wreck, my pulse racing a hundred miles a minute as no one besides LittleSunshineGirl has ever read my story before… or any erotic story of mine for that matter. But I’m ready, my eyes closed as I near the submit button until… I suddenly hold back, thinking I should give my editor one last email to make sure she agrees that it’s truly ready for publication. After all, her name is on the line as an editor as much as mine is as the author; we are a team.

Closing the submit page, I instead write to LittleSunshineGirl asking her opinion and to my complete my surprise, I receive an answer even quicker than normal! Reading through it, my eyes grow huge as I get to the bottom of the screen. “Julie?” She had actually given me her real name! “Julie…” I pronounced it again, savoring the feel of it on my lips. “Julie…” If the name hadn’t already been one of my absolute favorites, it definitely would be one of them now.

But why did she tell me her name? Had she finally realized I had mentioned us becoming friends in that prior email? Was she interested in getting to know me, too? Had she loved my story so much that she was putting her own feelers out of there about getting to know the author behind it? Or was it just that we were becoming more of a team and she was showing her solidarity with me. No… it had to have some level of personal interest to it. I hoped it did! On a site like Literotica, a person just doesn’t throw their name out there like that without a reason, right? But why did she do it?

My head swims with what to do next. Do I just reply like normal, perhaps giving her my name? No… I still want to get to know her more than anything... this is my fantasy girl we're talking about! I have to get her attention now... or else forget the whole thing. This is my very last chance.

“Julie,” my email starts but then I freeze. She likes my writing style so I have to put my best foot forward here. It’s now… or never. “What a beautiful name! It reminds me of the fair maiden of my favorite romantic work from Shakespeare and of gorgeous treasures that men spend a lifetime searching the world to find.” Okay, I know I am being corny, but it’ll definitely get her attention… “It's only fitting that a girl with such a beautiful description would have such a precious name, too. I was actually thinking to ask for your name so you must have read my mind. Now I'm going to have to send you vibes to send me a photo too.”

Of course, I can’t send her an email that is only personal as it may scare her away and I want to keep that professional teamwork that we share going, no matter what, so I revert back to the story discussion as well, while still keeping just a touch of the personal ‘Julie’ in it.

“I'm truly flattered that you're enjoying it so much as to recommend the story to your friends. That means a lot. I felt the differences of sexual philosophy between the sisters would be a lot of fun and make the plot and story that much deeper.” I go on to add a few more comments and finally thank her for the feedback as I feel much better about the chapter’s direction. “Your friend, Oliver (aka LePetitePrince)”

 

[barefootgirl69]

What a sweet message! Oliver. That's his name. He sure has a way with words. Not just in his story, but in his email. Maybe that's why I gave him my name. Maybe it's because we are talking more and more; we should be able to talk and give our names, right?

I'm not sure exactly what he wants from me. He's been hinting at things, I can tell he wants to flirt, but so far, he's just been a nice guy who seems to be a little eager. I wish I knew what it was that made it this way, we haven't really talked, and he doesn't really know me at all. Just a description, you know?

Anyway, I'm not going to read anything into it. And I don't want to put a twist on it that he wants more. Seriously, this is Literotica and most guys are only interested in ... okay, not most. I've met some really nice people here. Anyway, I was a sweet message, and I shouldn't ignore it like I have some others.

At first, I try to keep it on a professional level..."Thank you for your sweet words. I like the way you're writing it, not giving things away. The unexpected twists are important."

Where to go from here? Tell him something a little more personal, like he's shared with you, but keep it close to the work we're doing, so he doesn't think I'm looking for anything more. Because I'm not. I'm just being nice. Right?

Anyway, I write the next paragraph telling him about a role-play I had done where I played both a sweet girl and 'the evil naughty sister'.

"Oh, the sweet one was sexy and sensual...but that evil sister was so exciting. It was fun putting them both out there with one guy. Guys love the idea, women love seeing both sides of themselves (if they are willing to admit it). *blushes*"

Well, he's a writer, and so am I in a different way. I want him to know that I appreciate how he can take the plot and give it a little shake with the way he's written chapter two.

Hitting the send button, I immediately start second guessing the wisdom of telling him that. What if he thinks I'm flirting?

 

[TeaganOS]

I am working on the rest of the chapter, not expecting an answer from LittleSunshineGirl anytime soon when lo and behold, my phone starts blinking at me. “Ah, it’s just one of those nightly work emails again,” I shake it off, but my eyes keep drawing to it over and again, completely distracting me from getting any writing done. There is still a deep hope within, slowly fading but still there that maybe… just maybe it could be LittleSunshineGirl and she’s suddenly interested in talking with me. “Maybe just a quick glance... to be sure.”

Unable to believe my own eyes, I read the fine print of my small screen before running to my email account on the computer to be sure of what I just read. “Role Playing?” I scratch my head in complete wonder and amazement. Not only did she sound amazing in her description, but she sounded like a lot of fun, too. A creative mind that is open to more than what the eye simply beholds; she is a writer as well! “Two sides to themselves…” In previous emails of insight, she had talked of a woman having two sides; now I understand where she was coming from. Still, that sounds so frickin' sexy! An innocent-looking nerd girl with a hidden, sexy bad-girl side... damn!

But what did she mean by telling me? Was she hinting at something hidden within her words? Was she looking to strike up a conversation with me as I had hoped or was it just friendly talk so as to not be rude? The doubtful side of my mind is confident the latter is the answer though my heart beats a million miles a minute, that sliver of hope growing again ever so slightly.

What if she is looking to talk with me? What if she is interested in finally learning more about me? Just perhaps my romantic side of the story had touched a nerve within her, maybe it had touched her heart enough that intrigued her about the author behind the story somehow? I laugh heartily, outwardly believing that an absolute crazy impossibility though within my heart, I’m really hoping there’s the slightest chance it could be true.

“LittleSunshineGirl,

Good, I'm glad you're into the surprise twists as I've got more in store, little by little,” I reply once more trying to keep it professional at first. I try and I try to stay on that topic for a little while at least, but finally I can’t hold back anymore and end the email with, “I've definitely gotten the idea that you enjoy having two sides to yourself. I find it very intriguing (and sexy), becoming more and more curious about you with each email we share.

LePetitePrince”

There, a little flirting thrown in, letting her know I’d like the chance to talk to her more while not going overboard, either. She can just as easily say no and I haven’t crossed any lines nor had I damaged our author/editor relationship. Still, I hope, almost praying, that perhaps this could get a dialogue going between us. That’s all I’m asking for, a chance to talk, a chance to get to know her just a little more. Is that really so much to ask? Surely once I do, we’ll find there are too many differences between us and then the intrigue will disappear… and I’ll be able to return to my writing without the constant distractions of her on my mind.

Then again, what if it doesn’t? What if she truly is as amazing in real life as she is in my head? What would I do then? What would I tell her about me that might... I don’t know, spark some further interest if she responds? There are so many questions flying around my mind, my head spinning at the possibilities of the unknown at this point. This could be the beginning of the end as I suspect, or it could be the beginning of something more... All I can think of is, what if...

 

[barefootgirl69]

Curious about me? Why? I think to myself. I’m nothing special, and I don’t quite understand why he sounds so excited in the emails that he has been sending. Still, it intrigues me.

What if he is someone that I will find interesting myself? Is that such a bad thing? I’m a single mom, and there’s nothing wrong with getting to know people, men. Nothing wrong with talking and finding out if there are any similar interests.

I decide to take a chance. I write and point him in a direction where he can learn a little bit about me, without me directly talking about myself. This way, there isn’t a lot of me invested in case he decides I’m not really what he’s looking for. I’m not interested in having a relationship with a married man, either. If he’s married, or just looking for some fun, then he’s definitely in the wrong place. We haven’t talked about it, but I’m going to assume he’s married for now, while I test the waters.

I quickly send back a message to LaPetitePrince about SRPs.
“Some people throw ideas out looking for a co-writer, some talk to each other when they have an idea, and some say 'I want to write with you, let's plan a story'. As long as everyone is 18+ that's sexual, and no rape... anything goes.

Look me up LittleSunshineGirl, and check out a thread I started called Sunbeams and Rainbows. There’s a post has links to my roleplays, and I think the fourth post describes them. The thread also is about me!! *smiles*”

Well, there it is. I know it doesn’t tell about me in a lot of personal ways, but if he goes there to look me up, and searches my posts, he will see that I love to laugh and have fun, he’ll get a glimpse of who I am inside.