EmeraldKitten
Sweet & Twisted
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2004
- Posts
- 4,844
Life happens. Things change, people change. Things happen.
It's what makes the world go 'round. And sometimes, it's what you least expected, and the last thing that you'd want.
I guess I never gave much thought to Memorial Day before. We always had a cook-out, then went to the graves of family members. We cleaned up the stones, and when my great-grandma was alive, she'd plant some flowers. It didn't mean anything to me really. Most of them had died before I was born.
This year was different.
For the first time, I went through the Garden center and picked some flowers out, to go plant on a grave.
For the first time, I bought one of those flower rings with a ribbon that said 'Dad'.
I walked up to his grave, and there's no headstone yet... just a raw soil patch of earth to let us know that's where my father is buried.
For the first time, I knelt on the ground, and chopped up the earth, and planted several flowers across the top. My sister was with me, so I didn't cry like a baby. But god, I wanted to. I wished I was by myself so I could sit on the ground, rock back and forth, and ball my eyes out.
But I wasn't, and I didn't. I made it through my first Memorial Day.
And next month, I'll make it through my birthday. The thought occured to me that my birthday is the 3 month anniversary of his death. I'll still make it through it.
And I'll make it through Father's Day too I'm sure.
And one of these years, it'll get a little easier.
It's what makes the world go 'round. And sometimes, it's what you least expected, and the last thing that you'd want.
I guess I never gave much thought to Memorial Day before. We always had a cook-out, then went to the graves of family members. We cleaned up the stones, and when my great-grandma was alive, she'd plant some flowers. It didn't mean anything to me really. Most of them had died before I was born.
This year was different.
For the first time, I went through the Garden center and picked some flowers out, to go plant on a grave.
For the first time, I bought one of those flower rings with a ribbon that said 'Dad'.
I walked up to his grave, and there's no headstone yet... just a raw soil patch of earth to let us know that's where my father is buried.
For the first time, I knelt on the ground, and chopped up the earth, and planted several flowers across the top. My sister was with me, so I didn't cry like a baby. But god, I wanted to. I wished I was by myself so I could sit on the ground, rock back and forth, and ball my eyes out.
But I wasn't, and I didn't. I made it through my first Memorial Day.
And next month, I'll make it through my birthday. The thought occured to me that my birthday is the 3 month anniversary of his death. I'll still make it through it.
And I'll make it through Father's Day too I'm sure.
And one of these years, it'll get a little easier.
hugs 
