For Laurel and the rest of you cat freaks

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Cat Movies

 

[Laurel]

LOL!

 

[Silverlily]

lol

The kitten with the bubbles was cute.

 

[Cheyenne]

I got this in email the other day...

CAT THOUGHTS

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished a horror movie.

I must not help myself to Q-tips.

My human is a big girl and owns many towels. I do not have to lick her dry when she gets out of the shower.

I will not attempt to stop the human's snoring by sticking any combination of paws in his mouth, as this only results in a) wet and possibly human-bitten paws, and b) a very angry human with a mouthful of cat fur.

My human is not dead if she is not awake at 7:00 a.m. It is not necessary for me to park my concerned 25-pound frame on her stomach and check for breathing.

My human really will wake up and feed me, I don't have to pry her eyelids open with my paws.

When sharing a bed, I do not need the three-quarters nearest the wall.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

The shortest point between me and my human is not along the window sill, behind the curtains, at the back of the computer, under the cables, over the modem, around the wine glass and across the keyboard.

When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite down on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird
feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

I will allow my human to have more than one quarter of the bed, even if she doesn't deserve it.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters) stay in the house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

I will not keep live mice in the bathtub with the shower curtain
closed, just so I can play with them whenever I want. It makes my human scream.

I will not put a live mouse in my food bowl and expect it to stay
there until I get hungry.

I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.

I promise I will meditate more closely upon the causal relationship
between going dumpster diving on Sunday afternoon and projectile vomiting Monday, and being brought to the Evil Place Where They Stick Things Up My Butt on Tuesday evening. I realize that if I hadn't done the first, none of the other things would have happened.

 

[crystalhunting]

Shukran DCL.






CH

 

[rexfelis]

Cat freaks? You make it sound like a bad thing...

 

[sch00lteacher]

http://www.cyber-cats.com/images/cards/laughing_cat.jpg


Great post Cheyenne!


I had to explain to my wife this morning that cats use claws as breaks. Pete was trying to get her to get out of bed, she kept tossing him away (he is a real pest sometimes), tossing him on me. Of course to stop his progress forward...

So I have to get up and feed his tiny little ass (4 am). I have a smart wife, and a smart cat. Maybe they were working together on this. Hummm.

 

[lovetoread]

I have a smart wife, and a smart cat. Maybe they were working together on this. Hummm.

Of course they are.

 

[Sephiroth]

I just had to bump this back to the top.

LMAO at Cheyenne's post

 

[Cheyenne]

I just had to bump this back to the top.

LMAO at Cheyenne's post

Thank you. While it was sent to me in email, it is amazing how many of those things apply to my own cats!

 

[BarberBabe]

My Cat Cookie is 9 (human) years old today ...thats what 45 cat years ?

 

[DustyWolfe]

Re: I got this in email the other day...

CAT THOUGHTS

I will not puff my entire body to twice its size for no reason after my human has finished a horror movie.

I must not help myself to Q-tips.

My human is a big girl and owns many towels. I do not have to lick her dry when she gets out of the shower.

I will not attempt to stop the human's snoring by sticking any combination of paws in his mouth, as this only results in a) wet and possibly human-bitten paws, and b) a very angry human with a mouthful of cat fur.

My human is not dead if she is not awake at 7:00 a.m. It is not necessary for me to park my concerned 25-pound frame on her stomach and check for breathing.

My human really will wake up and feed me, I don't have to pry her eyelids open with my paws.

When sharing a bed, I do not need the three-quarters nearest the wall.

Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside. If I forget this and bonk my head on the window and fall behind the couch in attempt, I will not get up and do the same thing again.

I will not stick my paw into any container to see if there is something in it. If I do, I will not hiss and scratch when my human has to shave me to get the rubber cement out of my fur.

If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

The shortest point between me and my human is not along the window sill, behind the curtains, at the back of the computer, under the cables, over the modem, around the wine glass and across the keyboard.

When I am chasing my tail and catch my back leg instead, I will not bite down on my foot. This hurts, and my scream scares my human.

When it rains, it will be raining on all sides of the house. It is not
necessary to check every door.

I will not stuff my rather large self into the rather small bird
feeder (with my tail hanging out one side) and expect the birds to just fly in.

I will not play "dead cat on the stairs" while people are trying to
bring in groceries or laundry, or else one of these days, it will really come true.

I will allow my human to have more than one quarter of the bed, even if she doesn't deserve it.

Computer and TV screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

Any critter that lives in the house (hamsters) stay in the house and any wild critters (frogs and earthworms) stay outside. I am not allowed to set the hamster free in exchange for finding a frog to put in the fish tank.

I will not keep live mice in the bathtub with the shower curtain
closed, just so I can play with them whenever I want. It makes my human scream.

I will not put a live mouse in my food bowl and expect it to stay
there until I get hungry.

I will not drag the magnets (and the papers they are holding up) off of the refrigerator and then bat them underneath it so that they adhere to the underside.

I promise I will meditate more closely upon the causal relationship
between going dumpster diving on Sunday afternoon and projectile vomiting Monday, and being brought to the Evil Place Where They Stick Things Up My Butt on Tuesday evening. I realize that if I hadn't done the first, none of the other things would have happened.

lol.. I read that in the book "How to Live With a Neurotic Cat" I got it for my dad for Christmas because he has a little bitty black manx that is the most neurotic cat I have ever seen.

 

[shyybabe]

The cat wrestling kitties are mine. I knew they had moved that web cam, now I know why.

 

[Starfire]

Cats...........

At the risk of sounding vaguely serious ........

My two cats are mother and daughter - (Rasta and Scampi for the benefit of name collectors!)... The daughter beats the crap out of the mother! Please tell me I am not the only one with dysfunctional felines! Please!!!!!!!!!!