For guys who are single...and cool about it.

[Liar]

Here's something for the Christmas family meet when relatives are pestering you about why you don't have an SO yet, or to ward off friends why try to set you up on horrible blind dates with horrible outcomes. If I want a date I get myself one on my own thankyouverymuch.

That seems to happen now and then for me, and it's equally frustrating every time. If I say "no thanks I don't wanna" to their so-called help, then I'm an ungrateful bastard.

I seriously consider this, so that I can say "No thanks, I met this girl online..."

http://imaginarygirlfriends.com/

 

[carsonshepherd]

Awwww.... Liar has an imaginary friend! How cute!

 

[R. Richard]

I do not have family gatherings to go to. However, I do have business gatherings to go to. I have even worse problems with the "Have I got a girl for you!" crowd. If I offend someone, it not only get people mad at me, it hits me in the wallet. My wallet is a very sensitve area.

A few years back I met a delightful lady at one of the business gatherings. She is a lesbian. We have no life interests in common. However, she is a bright, and clever lady. We cling to each other at the start of each social gathering. We talk about any number of non life-interest items. We keep each other entertained and keep the "Have I got a girl/guy for you!" crowd off of us. It works.

The lady and I never see each other, except at must-attend business gatherings. The reason is that we have very little in common. Thus, we save up interesting subjects for the must-attend business gatherings and actually look forward to seeing each other. At each gathering we give each other two gifts. The first is a bit of interesting conversation. The second, and more important, is that we keep "Have I got a girl/guy for you!" crowd off of each other. Ours is asymbiotic relationship.

I am telling this story, not so much as a possible strategt for the singles. No, my story is actually aimed at the "Have I got a girl/guy for you!" crowd. STOP IT DAMMIT!

 

[BlackShanglan]

I do not have family gatherings to go to. However, I do have business gatherings to go to. I have even worse problems with the "Have I got a girl for you!" crowd. If I offend someone, it not only get people mad at me, it hits me in the wallet. My wallet is a very sensitve area.

A few years back I met a delightful lady at one of the business gatherings. She is a lesbian. We have no life interests in common. However, she is a bright, and clever lady. We cling to each other at the start of each social gathering. We talk about any number of non life-interest items. We keep each other entertained and keep the "Have I got a girl/guy for you!" crowd off of us. It works.

The lady and I never see each other, except at must-attend business gatherings. The reason is that we have very little in common. Thus, we save up interesting subjects for the must-attend business gatherings and actually look forward to seeing each other. At each gathering we give each other two gifts. The first is a bit of interesting conversation. The second, and more important, is that we keep "Have I got a girl/guy for you!" crowd off of each other. Ours is asymbiotic relationship.

I am telling this story, not so much as a possible strategt for the singles. No, my story is actually aimed at the "Have I got a girl/guy for you!" crowd. STOP IT DAMMIT!

You know, there's a woman where I work who feels the same way. I bet she'd be perfect for you.

Shanglan

 

[carsonshepherd]

You know, there's a woman where I work who feels the same way. I bet she'd be perfect for you.

Shanglan

That was nice. Subtle, but great.

 

[R. Richard]

Subtle or not, STOP IT DAMMIT!

 

[rikaaim]

Subtle or not, STOP IT DAMMIT!

Well, have I got a horse/dog/goose/mouse for you...

Is that any better?

 

[Seattle Zack]

The last thing I want is for a girl I'm banging to meet my lunatic family.

Wouldn't be more than a half hour into the drunken line-by-line re-enactment of Caddyshack that she'd hit the ground running and never look back.

I love my family and all, but we've developed some pretty bizarre rituals over the years that seem rather strange to outsiders.

In fact, because I never brought girls home during my college years to the holiday gatherings, my lesbian aunt was dispatched to find out if I was gay during a walk in the woods. I had to confess that I wasn't. Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Your family sounds a whole lot like mine. Caddyshack is a favorite, along with Blazing Saddles and the ever popular classic, Cheech & Chong's Up In Smoke.

Except... that walk in the woods? The answer was yes.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Excuse me while I whip this out ...

I swear that my mother, normally the image of propriety, has used that at the dinner table. At Thanksgiving, if memory serves.

One of the many reasons I love her.

Shanglan

 

[Seattle Zack]

Once at a Christmas dinner, my younger brother brought a date, someone he was fairly serious about I gathered. At the table, she was going on and on about how she couldn't find a job, about how she'd do almost anything as long as she could get some money.

It was the perfect cue, so of course my dad said, "Oh yeah? You want to make fourteen dollars ...."

Me and my four brothers all shouted out, "THE HARD WAY?"

Poor thing burst out crying and ran into the bathroom. I think they broke up shortly after that. Never saw her again at any rate.

 

[carsonshepherd]

Once at a Christmas dinner, my younger brother brought a date, someone he was fairly serious about I gathered. At the table, she was going on and on about how she couldn't find a job, about how she'd do almost anything as long as she could get some money.

It was the perfect cue, so of course my dad said, "Oh yeah? You want to make fourteen dollars ...."

Me and my four brothers all shouted out, "THE HARD WAY?"

Poor thing burst out crying and ran into the bathroom. I think they broke up shortly after that. Never saw her again at any rate.

Good thing, because she was obviously not of his caliber.