for Gauche....

[cloudy]

TALKING GOLLUM DOLL
(review from Dave Barry's gift list)

$22.98 plus shipping and handling from Things You Never Knew Existed, 4514 19th St. Court E., Bradenton, FL 34203-3799, 800-843-0762, www.johnsonsmith.com

Here's a very thoughtful gift for the impressionable youngster on your holiday gift list. It's a highly realistic talking plush doll depicting Gollum, the fun, heartwarmingly lovable character from the Lord of the Rings movies. When you squeeze him, Gollum hisses one of four phrases from the soundtrack.

Picture this: It's night, and the child is in his or her bed. The room is dark. The child is having trouble sleeping; perhaps he or she is worried that there's a monster under the bed. Finally the child dozes off, and rolls over onto Gollum, who hisses ''My precious,'' causing the child to wake up, face-to-face with Gollum, thus forming a memory that will be seared into the child's brain for a lifetime of therapy.

http://www.miami.com/images/miami/miamiherald/10340/106920148600.jpg

 

[carsonshepherd]

That is hilarious.

It reminds me of this lamp we had as a kid. It was a giant, fully extended petrified blowfish that someone had put a light bulb in. My parents hung it from the cieling and it gave me nightmares. It was horrible beyond words. *shudder*

If I still had it, I could probably sell it for a fortune on Ebay.

 

[minsue]

That is hilarious.

It reminds me of this lamp we had as a kid. It was a giant, fully extended petrified blowfish that someone had put a light bulb in. My parents hung it from the cieling and it gave me nightmares. It was horrible beyond words. *shudder*

If I still had it, I could probably sell it for a fortune on Ebay.

I had a painting my great-aunt had done of a clown on the wall facing the foot of my bed. Plenty of nightmares from that one.

It is now hanging in my nephew's room and I still shudder each time I pass it. (and now, just thinking on it, actually)


I want that talking Gollum doll, though

 

[LadyJeanne]

My aunt had some kind of tapestry on the wall of the kids' room - a couple of children walking over a rickety bridge above the flaming pits of hell, I think. I hated sleepovers there!.

 

[cloudy]

I want that talking Gollum doll, though

Me too. What does this say about us?

 

[minsue]

My aunt had some kind of tapestry on the wall of the kids' room - a couple of children walking over a rickety bridge above the flaming pits of hell, I think. I hated sleepovers there!.

Ooh, you just reminded me of other pictures, though nowhere near as horrifying as that tapestry sounds. I think they were in my brother's room growing up, but they are also now in my nephew's room. Prints of gnomes and trolls and such that I think were originally illustrations from a children's book, but which always seemed more than a little menacing to me.

I'm starting to wonder if they aren't setting my nephew up to be completely psychotic....

 

[minsue]

Me too. What does this say about us?

Nothing compared to what's said by the amount of time we spend on a porn site.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Ooh, you just reminded me of other pictures, though nowhere near as horrifying as that tapestry sounds. I think they were in my brother's room growing up, but they are also now in my nephew's room. Prints of gnomes and trolls and such that I think were originally illustrations from a children's book, but which always seemed more than a little menacing to me.

I'm starting to wonder if they aren't setting my nephew up to be completely psychotic....

Er, maybe you could step in and save us from a future psycho - take those things down!!!

 

[minsue]

Er, maybe you could step in and save us from a future psycho - take those things down!!!

Oh believe me, they received many lectures on the cruelty of the clown. It's not facing his bed, at least, so I suppose I had a bit of influence.

 

[Bridget69]

I don't think I could sleep with that beside my bed.

 

[LadyJeanne]

Oh believe me, they received many lectures on the cruelty of the clown. It's not facing his bed, at least, so I suppose I had a bit of influence.

Time to take things into your own hands. Take them down and replace them with pictures of cute little ducks, prancing horsies, and fuzzy alpacas. That should do the trick.

 

[minsue]

Time to take things into your own hands. Take them down and replace them with pictures of cute little ducks, prancing horsies, and fuzzy alpacas. That should do the trick.

Baahahahahahah!!!!

I love it

 

[matriarch]

Baahahahahahah!!!!

I love it

Not to mention a goose in full armour.

 

[BlackShanglan]

When my brother was little my parents bought him a lamp shaped like Humpty Dumpty for his birthday. They brought it into his room when he was asleep for a surprise in the morning. Evidently he woke them up early in the morning, nervous and perturbed, whispering that there was a little man in his room.

Shanglan

 

[gauchecritic]

Hmmm.

I painted a space scene mural across the kid's bedroom, I think it put them both off sci-fi for life.