For Eve...

[fawnie]

just for teasing me with a flogging...


don't leave me drowning
in your passion,
my heart's of fire,
with burning desire..
for your flogger!!
~~~~~~~


too bad i didn't have a penis, ...i'd be getting a taste of whoop ass.

(well maybe i do, but not the kind that shrinks after singing its pearl jam)


i'll remove the cliche from the poem and find a nice juicy replacement!

all joking aside...
glad to see you're feeling better eve!

 

[WickedEve]

I just hated to see you drown in passion. I can see you gasping now, flopping around in a big, sloppy pool of it. Though, it would put out the flames of burning desire.

 

[fawnie]

any better??

of days
when waves swept over,
left me
drowning
in your passion.

~~~~~~~~

of days
when waves swept over,
filled lungs with adoration,
choking from your
essence,
breathless,
my surrender



i'll take your advice..but not sure about your kids..i'm not sure i'd like mice.


so what about the stanza?

 

[WickedEve]

well, I like it but maybe too wordy. I need to read it with the poem.

I like: "filled lungs with adoration"

I'd drop: "choking from your
essence"

I like this:
of days
when waves swept over,
filled lungs with adoration,
breathless,
my surrender

I've read and commented on 4 pages of poems today, so... where is this poem. What was the title?

 

[fawnie]

oceans apart
by fawnie ©
~~~~~~~~

enduring thoughts,

of days
when waves swept over,
filled lungs with adoration,
breathless,
my surrender

whispered howls,

sweet gusts of wind,
your autumn breath
inhaled through
yearning lips.

the warmth of sun,

your smile lit up
our silouettes,
kissed away
darkness.

transformed

within your forest limbs,
cradled,
love
rocked me tender,
read me a story,
a book of sorrows
with once upon a happy ending.

you'll read the words
written now.

remember,

I loved you.

ocean-divided
through lifetime.

I shall miss you.

 

[WickedEve]

I don't know about the other readers/poets but I love the change you made!!! Big improvement.

 

[fawnie]

I don't know about the other readers/poets but I love the change you made!!! Big improvement.

thanks for the help eve..

it just goes to show you what a sweet dose of a flogger can do

lol

hmmm..and here i thought it was all these brainy poets around here that inspired me!

 

[The Mutt]

These poets are like plowhorses. It takes a taste of the lash now and then to get them moving