Folks w/ real life experience: Would you be satisfied w/ internet-only relationships?

[Mr Blonde]

Time for a poll!

I will PM my prediction of the results to a neutral bystander (Phoenix Stone) to prevent bias.

Definitions:

real life experience = a real time BDSM relationship or tangible BDSM play

satisfied = content, happy with the arrangement, not looking for a better offer

internet-only relationships = relationships where there is but a small chance of ever meeting real time and no chance of real life relationship

 

[kitty4ever]

With no chance of the internet becoming real? No, I would not be satisfied with such an arrangement. I need the real aspect, I need to feel His hand spanking me. I need to be held in His arms afterwards as He tells me that I've been a good girl.

Now, I am open to the possibility of a relationship beginning on the internet, but if it didn't have a chance of becoming real, in-person one, then I couldn't stick with it.

 

[Zaudika]

Nope, no way, no how, nu-uh. There's absolutely no possible way that an internet only relationship could be satisfying as internet only. -- to me at least.

 

[yuppietowngirl]

Internet only just doesn't interest me one bit.

It is the Real Thing for me...but since I wont be looking ever again. I can be guaranteed that it will be the real thing for me *s*

 

[sadunai]

Ok... relationship as in serious stuff? Nope. I have what I want r/w.
Relationship as in playing around, sure, no problem. It's fun and I don't have to listen to him snoar or freak out over him not putting the toothpaste cap on. I don't even give name and location, it's not serious, it's fun, if he needs it, he can make it up. Oh, and I'm talking long term here, not some cheesy one time cyber thing.

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, definately online is not going to satisfy my appetite for long....wet it a little perhaps, satisfy completely?Never!!

Catalina

 

[WriterDom]

That is like asking would you rather have a internet blow job or a real blow job.

With the stipulation of "happy with the arrangement, not looking for a better offer". Online/phone can be a lot of fun, but outside of a married person who doesn't want to meet real life, who could be happy with it only?

 

[shy slave]

Esclava

Where is your response to this poll? your words are wonderful when describing how satisfying and complete online can be

I had an internet relationship with someone on here.
Prior to having that online relationship, I never thought online would work as cyber sex leaves me bored and cold; but it was a good way to start explore my emerging submissive side.

It was wonderful, the anticipation of coming home and wondering what message/demand he had for me was truely mind blowing.
Meeting his needs and pleasing him was a challenge and a pleasure.

We also had discussions etc and I was allowed to voice my opinion about issues.

I learnt a great deal from him and it was valuable learning.

However once I had dipped my toe in the water I wanted r/l which was not possible with him.

I met some people (r/l) and turned to him for his opinion on who and what had occured. He always gave me clear, honest insight. I discussed with him the person I have come to see as my Master now; he was generous and understanding about my wish to move on.

The person I am in a relationship with now, understands that I had an online relationship and it was important to me.

He is a wonderful, caring, sadist who sees through me and appears to understand my needs, long before I do.

I can't imagine wanting to return to online, now I have felt the binds, cane and clamps placed there by someone else's hand.

(Actually can't imagine a moment without Him, D/s or not)

As an aside I need to be held, stroked and loved by both hands and words afterwards. With the best will in the world, words can be online, but a touching and stroking hand in an online relationship will always be in the mind.

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Nope, no way, no how.

I need to be involved with my petlings. I do *meet* a lot of prospective Domly types on-line but it's only fun and real to me if i have a hope in hell of actually seeing them.

so it doesn't work for me from either perspective..

 

[Shadowsdream]

Not an online Domme. Would be a totally unsatisfying way to tie up My time. If I am going to tie up anything it will be a male or female submissive.

When I torment with My voice I like to see the effect in the eyes and the body language of My victims..and cam is just a poor substitute for the feed back.

Real time or no time.

Meeting online, getting to know each other online and by phone has many values but to remain there simply over time obligates My time.

 

[Netzach]

Personally, no way!

Professionally, beats answering the switchboard.

 

[Ziggy*stardust]

I could not be satisfied with a relationship that is online only. I definitely need his presence, his touch, his voice, etc...

stardust

 

[Ziggy*stardust]

There is no way I could be satisfied with a relationship that is online only.
I would miss the subtleties such as the look in her eyes and the changing of her body when I speak to her or touch her. I would miss having her at my feet or seeing her in a puddle of tears on the floor after using her for my sadistic needs.
I would miss holding her in my arms, watching a movie together or sitting at the table while enjoying her wonderful cooking. I would miss taking her out and meeting friends or visiting clubs and have a good time.
Not being able to just live life together would not be acceptable to me at all and I could never be completely satisfied that way.

Ziggy

 

[sunfox]

My opinion's been stated on this once, but I don't mind reiterating it.

I can't be satisfied in any way with an online relationship.

That said, I have -met- people online, and in fact, met my SO online, and I don't knock it as a comfortable, low-stress way to get to know someone without heavy expectations.

I just want to know it can/will go real time, ASAP.

 

[Daddyslilpet]

Nope. I need the skin to skin contact, intimacy, and all the rest that R/L has to offer.

 

[Desdemona]

Not no..... Hell No! I need the real thing on a regular basis in order to be happy and content. I don't know how you can even begin to generate the level of trust and intimacy that comes with real life interactions.

 

[dreaming_lilith]

No, would not be enough.

 

[dragonlace]

nope not possible for me, without the real time contact and intimacy something would get lost and i wouldn't feel as satisfied. Also there is just something about the sound of a paddle or flogger when it makes contact with your own flesh, that can't be imitated, and that rush when waiting for it.

 

[bustyblondebombshell]

I used to think that it was ok, online allowed me to seperate my real life from my early D/s life, it allowed me to explore who I could be without going the whole way. So initially, online was perfect to me, but now, after only one RL experience, I am craving more, and also, with the amount of wierdos that find their way onto the boards, taking prey in newbies, I think VR moving to RL can be quite a dangerous thing.

I have the one RL experience under my belt, I would definately not be content with online only. VR was exciting when it was new, but I really have a taste for and need to experience the real thing now........

Just my humble opinion, anyhow......

BBB x.

 

[Mr Blonde]

Oh wow, I was wrong....

5 Dom/mes, 9 S/switches and 17 submissives all agree:

Once they are experienced with real life, internet would just never do!

(Hey, do you like that "S/switches" thing? Maybe it will catch on? Okay, maybe not. LOL)

Mr Blonde wrote on 05-21-2004 08:41 PM (abridged):

Here are my predictions:

1. Nearly all dom/mes and switches with real time experience would not find any satisfaction in internet-only relationship.

2. 25-50% of submissives with real time experience WOULD find satisfaction in internet-only relationship.

My reason was that submissives greatly outnumber dominants and would adjust their expectations accordingly. The first part was right (17 submissives to only 5 dominants) but the second was dead wrong.

And only 5 experienced dominants in this forum?

 

[Phoenix Stone]

I will PM my prediction of the results to a neutral bystander (Phoenix Stone) to prevent bias.

Yah, and one neutered bystander! Owch!! AA threatening me in the Cafe is one thing but You carrying it out, Sir? You?? My very own lazy and ineffective online Dom?

If you'd wanted the lemonade That bad, you could've give me some warning... grumble grumble... now what do I do? Flirting has been promised, DVS is willing to administer some online, in public D/S with possible B and some likely elicited M, and here I am neutered.

Where's the darned angry cat smilie?

Best I can do.

Ps. My bet would have been that no matter how many Doms and wannabe doms there are reading on this board, more subs would respond. Just as more subs write for support and advice, the doms seem to come for philosophy or play and amusement. Nature of the beast? Again, I'm writing too late to be careful of my wording.

for Mr. Blonde

 

[BrightFlower]

There are some things in one's imagination that can be better than the real thing. BDSM is NOT one of them. In my humble opinion.

 

[littleg~rl]

A big no from me.. I have to have it for real..

I would get too bored doing it to myself, its much more fun for me with a partner...

Too easy to cheat when it comes to following directions, brings all sorts of funny thoughts to mind.

Mind you it is the age of the internet and you may meet your partner that way, so who knows.


Stephanie

 

[landcruisergal]

Nope, I need a firm hand, otherwise I dont think I could trust myself to carry out his instructions. I interract with my dom online but ultimately I know that if I err, I get real life punishment. I can be cheeky online, where I would fear to in real life scenes.

 

[Mr Blonde]

I am not trying to start an argument but three people (a dom, a switch and a sub) have said they would be satisfied with internet-only. What is explanation for that line of thinking? Was it a bad experience in the past? Do you have limitations where you feel safer keeping things at a distance? I am only trying to understand.