Fluidity in sexual preference. Is it real?

[SEVERUSMAX]

I think that it is, but I would note that it would not be something universal. That is, many folks have a fixed sexual orientation that simply will not change. Even where it might be fluid, it has to be caused internally, in one's own psycho-sexual makeup, rather than externally, through some kind of "conversion therapy." Still, for a limited number of individuals, fluid sexuality is a thing, I think.

I would also note that this is neither a good thing nor a bad thing, just as a fixed sexual orientation is neither good nor bad. It simply is. Whatever sexuality you are, it must always be respected and accepted for what it is.

 

[Stacy_TG]

It seems to make sense that sexuality fluidity exists, hence, bisexuality.

I wholeheartedly agree with you on sexuality being internal or intrinsic. I've known there was something "special" about me since I was little!

 

[Jander1]

It's definitely real. I'm 42 and think I know myself well enough to understand my sexuality---at least mostly. I always went out with girls, but the older i grew, from about age 14, the more I found myself looking at the cocks in porn mags and getting excited just knowing I was around a gay guy.

However, my interest in women never waned. It took to my 30s to really act on my bi side, beyond a couple drunken small incidents. But, it felt natural when I did, just like it does with a woman.

When I was young, I though every guy must harbor some bi urges, but I no longer think that's true...agree that it's just how some of us are. I'm not sure I could ever have a love relationship with a man, but I've been married for years, so not 100 on that.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Yeah, I didn't really notice any attraction to men at all until right around 2000 to 2001. I was 24 to 25 back then, and I struggled to admit it, but in 2002 I just gave up any pretense and admitted that I was something other than hetero. At first I considered myself to be simply bisexual, but now I realize that I'm pansexual. I haven't changed back, either, come to think of it.

 

[Jander1]

Yeah, I didn't really notice any attraction to men at all until right around 2000 to 2001. I was 24 to 25 back then, and I struggled to admit it, but in 2002 I just gave up any pretense and admitted that I was something other than hetero. At first I considered myself to be simply bisexual, but now I realize that I'm pansexual. I haven't changed back, either, come to think of it.

It felt great to give up that pretense for sure. I was maybe 21 when I let it be, though I still had a bit of that weird shame for awhile.

I still have only one old group of close friends, including my wife, that is aware of my sexuality. That I know of at least. While I'm no longer ashamed in any way, I am very masculine and just feel that, no matter what some people say, it changes how they see you when you to someone you like to play with men now n then. Maybe that's just because of where I'm from.

 

[cjcurious]

^^^ this sounds very familiar....

Also love your tumblr page!

 

[Jander1]

^^^ this sounds very familiar....

Also love your tumblr page!

Thanks! Too much time put into it, Your biography also sounds familiar. Oh..i just checked out your Imgur.

 

[Iwantitnowpleas]

Yes, yes. I'm reminded of the old song "Love the one your with"!

 

[Mqoi]

I started out gay, went bi, then straight, back to bi, then bi acting straight and now I find that I'm having less and less interest in women again.

Is slut a gender? It would cover all bases.

 

[stickygirl]

It certainly feels, on the inside, that sexual "preference" only became a thing when religious and cultural pressure told us that one thing was bad and another good. In a mythical garden of Eden there would be no delineation: you'd just have sex. The only lines that should be drawn is with respect to children and, if it's not inconvenient, stick with your own species.

Oh, and Hi Stacy

 

[Astroman72]

My sexuality has pretty much been exactly the same since puberty, and I'm 50 now.

As far as pure physical sexual pleasure, men and women interest me just about equally. But gay sex to me is pretty much just like masturbation--it feels great, I know I'd love it and would enjoy it every day if I could--but there's nothing emotional or romantic about it. It would be just a totally physical bodily function, not something I could build a life, a relationship or even a date around, really. And that's why I've never actually pursued gay sex--it's a lot of risk and effort for something that I know would not really satisfy me on a deeper level.

Now, if the perfect opportunity happened to present itself, I'm not sure I could resist--but for the most part, I'm happy keeping my gay side in the realm of fantasy, toys and masturbation.

Actually, it's been great being on this forum the last couple of years. I had never really discussed my gay sex urges with ANYONE in any setting for my whole life. Although I've always understood and have been quite comfortable with my range of sexual desires, it's nice to be able to talk openly about these things.

I always saw myself as part of a very small sexual minority: I'm genuinely not drawn to men romantically at all the way I am to women, so I can't really be gay. But at the same time, I can't really say I'm straight when I'm often dreaming about sucking a big cock!

I now see that there are LOTS of guys like me out there--I had no idea this was so common.

 

[mmmscurious]

I started out gay, went bi, then straight, back to bi, then bi acting straight and now I find that I'm having less and less interest in women again.

Is slut a gender? It would cover all bases.

I’ve run through a slightly different order, but that pretty much summarizes my life as well.

 

[meme62626]

My sexuality has pretty much been exactly the same since puberty, and I'm 50 now.

As far as pure physical sexual pleasure, men and women interest me just about equally. But gay sex to me is pretty much just like masturbation--it feels great, I know I'd love it and would enjoy it every day if I could--but there's nothing emotional or romantic about it. It would be just a totally physical bodily function, not something I could build a life, a relationship or even a date around, really. And that's why I've never actually pursued gay sex--it's a lot of risk and effort for something that I know would not really satisfy me on a deeper level.

Now, if the perfect opportunity happened to present itself, I'm not sure I could resist--but for the most part, I'm happy keeping my gay side in the realm of fantasy, toys and masturbation.

Actually, it's been great being on this forum the last couple of years. I had never really discussed my gay sex urges with ANYONE in any setting for my whole life. Although I've always understood and have been quite comfortable with my range of sexual desires, it's nice to be able to talk openly about these things.

I always saw myself as part of a very small sexual minority: I'm genuinely not drawn to men romantically at all the way I am to women, so I can't really be gay. But at the same time, I can't really say I'm straight when I'm often dreaming about sucking a big cock!

I now see that there are LOTS of guys like me out there--I had no idea this was so common.

Most if not all of what you said holds true for me too. I have wondered sometimes if some of my desires for gay sex are porn induced. I don't know either though if the perfect situation came along that I wouldn't resist it either, for the enjoyment of it... Seems like the raw sexual energy would be to much to say no....

 

[stickygirl]

Men are hard-wired that way

 

[newhere2learn]

As far as pure physical sexual pleasure, men and women interest me just about equally. But gay sex to me is pretty much just like masturbation--it feels great, I know I'd love it and would enjoy it every day if I could--but there's nothing emotional or romantic about it. It would be just a totally physical bodily function, not something I could build a life, a relationship or even a date around, really. And that's why I've never actually pursued gay sex--it's a lot of risk and effort for something that I know would not really satisfy me on a deeper level.

Now, if the perfect opportunity happened to present itself, I'm not sure I could resist--but for the most part, I'm happy keeping my gay side in the realm of fantasy, toys and masturbation.

Actually, it's been great being on this forum the last couple of years. I had never really discussed my gay sex urges with ANYONE in any setting for my whole life. Although I've always understood and have been quite comfortable with my range of sexual desires, it's nice to be able to talk openly about these things.

I always saw myself as part of a very small sexual minority: I'm genuinely not drawn to men romantically at all the way I am to women, so I can't really be gay. But at the same time, I can't really say I'm straight when I'm often dreaming about sucking a big cock!

I now see that there are LOTS of guys like me out there--I had no idea this was so common.

I could've written that myself. I adore women, all of them. If opportunity arose I'd be a slut for any woman aged 18-65. Fuck them senseless.

However it does not.

Cock, I want. Not men. I want cock because I've ass played solo a lot, I've had sissygasm.... I know how good it felt.

So, it's hug guy was clean and obliging I'd be on all fours in seconds.


Not because he's a guy. Purely because sissygasm are unreal. How can anything feel That Good?

Normally sissygasm are exhausting as I have to ride things, and get in position etc. To simply get on my knees... And enjoy?

 

[haurni]

Fluidity and bisexuality aren't the same thing, btw.

I think we tend to be sufficiently repressed and indoctrinated in heterosexuality that an evolution of our understanding of our own sexuality seems like a change, when in fact it may be something that was already there but we just didn't know it (or hadn't had enough maturity or were too closed-minded to see it). My personal opinion is that both sexual orientation and gender identity are things that can change over the course of one's life, though how much they may do so varies depending on the individual. Some people are more 'hard-wired' whereas others have flexibility built in. Regardless, if everyone is different, let's stop putting people in mental straight-jackets and just enjoy who we are.

 

[jackielicker]

I just call myself "sexual." I enjoy women as a man, I enjoy men as a man. I like being feminized and pegged by women. I enjoy being a CD with other CDs, I enjoy being a CD with women or men. I would be turned on by TG. I've even know some lesbians (NOT the Penthouse kind) that turned me on. I like older, I like (within reason) younger. I would love to do MFM again. I fantasy about groups of women, groups of men, and mixed groups.

Honestly, there is probably not a person or type of person that I have not had a sexual fantasy about or dalliance with.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Fluidity and bisexuality aren't the same thing, btw.

I think we tend to be sufficiently repressed and indoctrinated in heterosexuality that an evolution of our understanding of our own sexuality seems like a change, when in fact it may be something that was already there but we just didn't know it (or hadn't had enough maturity or were too closed-minded to see it). My personal opinion is that both sexual orientation and gender identity are things that can change over the course of one's life, though how much they may do so varies depending on the individual. Some people are more 'hard-wired' whereas others have flexibility built in. Regardless, if everyone is different, let's stop putting people in mental straight-jackets and just enjoy who we are.

Well written.

 

[coati]

Can you give up being "hard wired"?

There is a basic personality difference between those who are rigid and those who are more fluid, not just in sexual preferences but in all sorts of ways.

Most people who took psychedelic drugs during the cultural revolution of the 1960s and 70s were thrust into experiences where they suddenly had to make decisions about whether they were going to cling to their rigid prior views about "the way things are" or whether they were going to open themselves up to new perspectives. Those who were not open to change tended to sink pretty quickly during a trip.

Many people learned their lessons quickly, and also learned that once a lesson is learned, there is no reason to return to a psychoactive drug or to any other form of profound experience that caused their world to suddenly change. If you were at all introspective, taking psychedelics was hard work, as was any life jarring experience. Continually repeating that experience can have traumatic effects.

I came out of that period in cultural history with a full appreciation of the natural world and of my own mortality. Whereas before I had been a typical self absorbed person who thought that a human lifetime was very long and was dominated by rigid human rules for what is accepted as "normal", afterwards I opened my eyes to the natural world and understood that human life is fleeting, so it should be savored, valuing the lives of others in the same way that I valued my own life.

Perhaps it was those life altering experiences that set the stage for loving the whole spectrum of gender identities. People who are genuine and respectful turn me on, no matter how they identify their gender. This appreciation has enriched my life with many great experiences.

 

[Stacy_TG]

It certainly feels, on the inside, that sexual "preference" only became a thing when religious and cultural pressure told us that one thing was bad and another good. In a mythical garden of Eden there would be no delineation: you'd just have sex. The only lines that should be drawn is with respect to children and, if it's not inconvenient, stick with your own species.

Oh, and Hi Stacy

Sticky!



It makes my heart happy to see you!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Hey, Stacy and Sticky, how are you two ladies doing?

 

[Stacy_TG]

Hey, Stacy and Sticky, how are you two ladies doing?

Hi Max! It's so nice to see you! Busy dealing with this life and everything that goes with it! I hope you are well!

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Hi Max! It's so nice to see you! Busy dealing with this life and everything that goes with it! I hope you are well!

Could be better, could be worse. Got diagnosed Type 2 diabetes, not too thrilled there. Hugs.

 

[newhere2learn]

I just call myself "sexual." I enjoy women as a man, I enjoy men as a man. I like being feminized and pegged by women. I enjoy being a CD with other CDs, I enjoy being a CD with women or men. I would be turned on by TG. I've even know some lesbians (NOT the Penthouse kind) that turned me on. I like older, I like (within reason) younger. I would love to do MFM again. I fantasy about groups of women, groups of men, and mixed groups.

Honestly, there is probably not a person or type of person that I have not had a sexual fantasy about or dalliance with.

Entirely relatable