Flirt

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Here's what I said and repeat it for a reason:

"Real flirting is nearly a lost art. If you expect success then you make it practical and artless.

Trust me, the last man I met who knew how to flirt me right was a retired Oxford don.

What we do on Lit. is merely flirt-like."

I'll be 57 soon so flirting may mean something different to me than what seems to be the majority on Lit. It's kind of like dancing before men and women separated and lost touch. It used to be quite nuanced and involved body language, facial expressions, particular gestures, even a turn of the mouth or a movement of an eyebrow.

I say it's flirt-like on Lit. because we have only words, no one can see all I mention in the previous paragraph.

In real life when I get the opportunity to flirt I do not have expectations; flirting done well is a prelude to that. If the things noted above mesh, then a new level of communication begins. If not, no harm done.

What I do on Lit. is play, nothing more. Yet occasionally a new plane of communication does come forth (off the board of course).

Perdita

 

[destinie21]

I'm a "natural" flirt. I use my body a lot. Which isn't to say that I do anything "distasteful" but you can flirt just by your stance.
Finishing School may be archaic but my parents sent me and yoiu'd be surprised what I learned there
but alas that's another story.

 

[Guest]

Dest, you seem to have been "finished" up just fine.

Perdita

 

[destinie21]

Dest, you seem to have been "finished" up just fine.

Perdita

Lol my parents were not thirilled that I slept with the teacher though. But at least I learned where the boning knife goes. I can set a table wit all 14 pieces of silverware in proper order. To bad I'm only 21 and my friends can barley figure out when to use the salad fork.

 

[Lauren Hynde]

I say it's flirt-like on Lit. because we have only words, no one can see all I mention in the previous paragraph.

Ah, but is it really? We have more than only words. We have momentum, pauses, dissimulation of the words that really matter, we wear the mask that grins and lies, we have poetry. It is flirt. In my opinion, every bit as intentional, as intense, as real as in life. (Or can be, at least)

My flirt comes with no expectations, here or elsewhere. The seduction is an objective in itself. If it develops into something else, so be it, but it is not on my mind when the dance begins.

 

[jfinn]

I love to flirt, though I'm not always very good at it. It depends on my mood, I have to feel very confident to really enjoy it and enjoying flirting is essential to making it work.

I think there are a couple of different types of flirtations. There's the prelude sort that Perdita mentioned, but then there are the self-limited types, the ones you have no agenda with other than the sheer fun of flirting.

The second is my favorite. It's such a nice contained thing. A mini relationship that you can think back on with no regret.

It's funny this topic came up today, because twice this morning I had two great little flirtations within the space of twenty minutes or so. Both oddly enough, at the grocery store. One was with an older, 80 or so I'd guess, gentlemen as we both shucked corn and the second was with the 18 or 19 year old bag boy. That the latter was young enough to be my son and the former my father, didn't seem to matter in the least.

Jayne
edited for grammer

 

[Guest]

Lauren: I can't agree with you, which is no big deal. I've been on the AH for sometime and have not read anything I'd call flirting as you or I name it, and I'm a good reader. It's all just wordplay to me (which I do and enjoy myself).

Perdita

 

[Guest]

Can you flirt*?
DO you flirt?
WHY?
DO you have expectations or "goals" when you flirt?

a response, maybe?
reinforcement?

*the question was INTIALLY meant to mean HERE..in the AH on LIT...but can certainly be expanded to "realworld"

Yes, I can flirt with the best of them. Both online and in the "realworld". Both types of flirtation are very different. Online it is much more direct, and far less subtle. It is more than wordplay, but not quite full-blown flirtation. It is usually difficult to get the right tone online; a subtle flirtation can often turn into a clumsy come-on.

Face-to-face flirting is the most fun. It's all about body language, eye contact and tone of voice. I find the subtlest of things have the most effect, such as playing with my hair, biting my lower lip, widening my eyes, gently touching the leg of my subject and so on. I never have any expectations or goals when I flirt. I'm a natural flirt, I can't help it. My flirtations are nearly always doen in front of my husband. He just sees it as me being my friendly self. What do I get from it? It makes me feel good, people definitely notice me, I get some nice pecks on the cheek from male friends, and often the odd squeeze on my butt. It is all completely harmless, and nobody has ever read me wrong; I know exactly how far to take it.

Lou

 

[Guest]

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I flirt all the time, with anyone. Man, woman, boy, girl, animal... Not sexual flirting, I reserve that for Hubby, but everyday flirting. Like, I'm goin to the bus, and it starts to rain, so I have to run, and I make it just before the bus leaves. The driver makes some little remark that I better hurry up before I get all drowned by the rain, and I smile and answer something like "Maybe I shouldn't get off at my regular stop, but go with the bus until it stops raining".

Flirting.

Friendly chat, including body language. Not necessarily sexual, just friendly, in order to make the day a little nicer for myself and my fellow human beings (and my fellow animal beings, as well. I'm very often seen in town, standing on my hands and knees, getting my face licked by a happy dog).

 

[ffreak]

Thanks for starting this Rhino.

Teach us more, Perdita. If we are to reflect real flirting in our writing, if we want the reader to see the flirtation, then we want to be able to describe the real thing.

Me, I don't know if I ever carry flirtation any further than to try to make the other person feel good. I'm in love with life and people. One time, in a very special, and spiritual experience, I watched 50 women come into a room and everyone of them was beautiful. Their ages ranged from 20 to 80. What was beautiful about them was their expression, their openness, the way they smiled. None had a care or expectation in the world at that moment. We all laughed and hugged and danced on air. Only one would share my bed that night, and it was the one I came with.

I never thought of that as flirting before.

Many of the 40's and 50's movies I think show flirting as you speak of it. Am I wrong?

Sveska there's nothing better than a happy lick (dogs know what's good).

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmmm

Best ask the wife to comment on this one, hehe!!, she's a terrible flirt, especially when a bit loose on the alcohol.
Hers is definitely heavy flirting with sexual innuendo and undertones when in this horny half pissed state.

Much easing up of the skirt, loosening of the blouse buttons, naughty little comments, and then amused interest as she watches the reactions of the poor bastard she's targetted for the tease.

The extent of her on-line flirting is far too lewd to mention here on this family thread, hehe!!

Me? Yes I'm also a terrible flirt, in real life as well as cyber teasing.

I'm as bad as any girl for fluttering the eylids, though mine's usually interpreted as a wink

At the supermarket checkout I always choose the pretty girls, (or boys), manning the till and make conversation as soon as they begin to serve. Mainly light hearted quips and or a little innuendo if it appears it may be acceptable from the young one's reactions.

It's bloody hard work these days though, most young girls and lads seem so freekin dim, something lacking in the education system I think, they often just sit impassively staring into space, 'the lights are on, but nobody's home' look in their eyes as they struggle to raise a smile even.

Our kids have always been embarrassed by the way I strike up a converstaion with total strangers, mainly of the female gender.
Then spend an age chatting with them as though we've been friends for years.

"Dad!! Do you know that woman?" is the usual first response from our 12 y old daughter afterwards, followed by shock when I say, "Never met her before today love, why?" The boys are used to it now and rarely comment. The oldest may mumble, "Huh, he's on the pull again".

Having said this, I'm by far worse in the flesh as it were than in cyber space land, OK I like to meet female friends on-line and I do tease a bit and flirt a bit. Near the knuckle and over the top remarks are not uncommon, but it really isn't the same is it without the body language and sensual smiles, or of course alternatively, the slap in the face, hehe!!

I have good friends on-line, very good friends of the female and male gender, but with these good friends, (female variant), it's mainly gone beyond simple flirting

I am a lot more shy as it were on-line, and don't often try to impose myself on ladies as some others do, my wife's PM boxes from her various sites are good evidence of this.

Strange how most 18 y old boys seem to have 14 inch pricks, three foot tongues and can breathe through their ears, well according to her PM's that's the case.

I rarely intrude on a person's privacy on-line without invite, and would never dream of bombarding them with obscene PM's, or even near the knuckle messages, unsolicited that is.

I prefer the direct open approach on-line, hey, Purdy, Lou, Jayne, fancy a fourway, hehe!!

pops

 

[ffreak]

Much easing up of the skirt, loosening of the blouse buttons, naughty little comments, and then amused interest as she watches the reactions of the poor bastard she's targetted for the tease.

Now that's what I'm talking about. You painted a good little picture for us to see the flirting.

Let's hear more of this kind of thing. Don't the romance writers work in this area?

 

[Guest]

Now that's what I'm talking about. You painted a good little picture for us to see the flirting.

Let's hear more of this kind of thing. Don't the romance writers work in this area?

Ok, here's little excerpt from the next story that I will be posting on Lit. It demonstrates the kind of full-on flirting that I enjoy...

The setting: a repairman has come to my house, just after I'd taken my morning shower.

____________________________________________________

I was going to have to use all my seductive powers: he was being such a gentleman, I had to show him what being a lady was all about.

He was now kneeling down in front of the dishwasher so I went over and stood next to him. All he could see of me was my legs, and they were mostly covered by the towel. I surreptitiously allowed the leg closest to him leave the confines of it. Bending over, pretending my leg was aching, I rubbed it up and down with both hands, from my ankle all the way up to the top of my thigh. I’d used oil in the shower so my skin was very smooth and slippery. I could see his chest rising and falling more rapidly and the bulge in the front of his overalls growing. One more ‘subtle’ ploy and I would have him.

Still bending over I massaged my other leg, letting my hands travel a little further up this time, just far enough so that he caught a quick glimpse of my shaven pussy through the gap in the towel. He took a sharp intake of breath and stood up. Straightening up I joined him. Our eyes locked. His hand went to the back of my neck and he pulled my head towards his. We kissed, passionately, his hands stroking through my long, damp hair. His touch was gentle but electrifying.
____________________________________________________

That's not subtle at all, as far as flirting goes; it's more like seduction. But it does demonstrate how some heavy flirting can get results.

Lou

 

[pop_54]

Hmmmmmm

Ok, here's little excerpt from the next story that I will be posting on Lit. It demonstrates the kind of full-on flirting that I enjoy...

The setting: a repairman has come to my house, just after I'd taken my morning shower.

____________________________________________________

I was going to have to use all my seductive powers: he was being such a gentleman, I had to show him what being a lady was all about.

He was now kneeling down in front of the dishwasher so I went over and stood next to him. All he could see of me was my legs, and they were mostly covered by the towel. I surreptitiously allowed the leg closest to him leave the confines of it. Bending over, pretending my leg was aching, I rubbed it up and down with both hands, from my ankle all the way up to the top of my thigh. I’d used oil in the shower so my skin was very smooth and slippery. I could see his chest rising and falling more rapidly and the bulge in the front of his overalls growing. One more ‘subtle’ ploy and I would have him.

Still bending over I massaged my other leg, letting my hands travel a little further up this time, just far enough so that he caught a quick glimpse of my shaven pussy through the gap in the towel. He took a sharp intake of breath and stood up. Straightening up I joined him. Our eyes locked. His hand went to the back of my neck and he pulled my head towards his. We kissed, passionately, his hands stroking through my long, damp hair. His touch was gentle but electrifying.
____________________________________________________

That's not subtle at all, as far as flirting goes; it's more like seduction. But it does demonstrate how some heavy flirting can get results.

Lou

Yes and you've just given me a bloody boner, damn you lady

 

[Guest]

Re: Hmmmmmm

Yes and you've just given me a bloody boner, damn you lady

Good, glad to hear it!

Lou

 

[deliciously_naughty]

I've been told that I flirt constantly in rl...that I don't even realize that I'm doing it, but that I behave in a flirty way.

C

 

[LorriLove]

hiya

hiya sweet things, take a look at the avatar darlings and tell me who's a flirt, giggle

 

[ffreak]

Tatelou, I think that does go beyond flirting. As Perdita framed it, flirting does not expect anything in return. I think your character pretty much knew she would get a lot of return.

Hmm... Delicious, flirty, seductive. Looking at your picture I would
definitely expect a full range of tasty offerings.

 

[Guest]

As Perdita framed it, flirting does not expect anything in return.

FF, thank you but please don't put me up against any of these lovelies. As I said, my times set me off, and my own persona.

Re. your questions I'm dulled today but may reply anon. As for flirting as I learned it (in the 50's to about mid-60's), my Mexican gentleman/prince of a father was a good male role model. My mother was too reserved, but I had very flirtatious aunts and a "Tia Mame" grandmother (She was married 4 times, had 8 children and only 2 had the same father.)

To start any lessons I would recommend the old screwball comedies. For a man I'd suggest watching scenes with Bogart and Bacall, and any Clark Gable, Cary Grant (primo), Gary Cooper, etc. for diverse tactics.

Perdita Azul

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I've been told that I flirt constantly in rl...that I don't even realize that I'm doing it, but that I behave in a flirty way.

C

My best friend once told me that I have a flirty way of eating in a restaurant. Or, actually, she said that I have an erotic way of eating in a restaurant. "You'll drive guys crazy if they take you out to dinner!"

 

[The_Fool]

To start any lessons I would recommend the old screwball comedies. For a man I'd suggest watching scenes with Bogart and Bacall, and any Clark Gable, Cary Grant (primo), Gary Cooper, etc. for diverse tactics.

Perdita Azul

Looking at how those movies had to be so clean, its amazing how much flirting went with sharing a bottle of champagne, lighting a cigarette, maintaining smouldering hot eye contact and of course the double entendre. (It's probably for the best, but flirting with a cigarette is almost a lost art.) Absolutely no body contact, except for the bare minimum. And the foreplay leading up to the passionate kiss, since the kiss was the denouement.

I flirt with my eyes. Usually something as simple as completely concerting everything on the lady I am speaking too. Or not even speaking. It amazing how many smiles I get just with an intense eye-to-eye contact that lasts seconds.

Some of the best flirts are also some of the best waitresses. They talk, they smile, they make you the object of their attention. They touch, but only in an innocuous way, but in doing so they invade your personal space making the momentary contact that much more intimate.

 

[Guest]

Looking at how those movies had to be so clean, its amazing how much flirting went with sharing a bottle of champagne, lighting a cigarette, maintaining smouldering hot eye contact and of course the double entendre. (It's probably for the best, but flirting with a cigarette is almost a lost art.)

Not-such-a-Fool:

I miss having my cigarette lit by a man. It could be so rich: taking his hand while he held out the match or lighter, looking into his eyes in a particular way, taking the first drag (still looking into his eyes, suck suck suck...), blowing it out to the side, he catches the lipstick stain, etc. etc.

Got a light, Fool?

Perdita

 

[Lauren Hynde]

Lauren: I can't agree with you, which is no big deal. I've been on the AH for sometime and have not read anything I'd call flirting as you or I name it, and I'm a good reader. It's all just wordplay to me (which I do and enjoy myself).

Perdita

Of course you're right, perdita. It is no big deal.

I haven't been on the AH for that long a time, at least not regularly, so I can't say much about the locals (and that's what really matters), but I've seen it happen a few times elsewhere, and engaged into it several more. I grant you it's not the norm, it's not even common, but it is possible to flirt online with more than wordplay. It may be a dying art, but I think it will survive us all.

And then again, maybe flirt is simply mutating and we're talking about different things. Either way, it's no big deal.