Flirt with the Above Litster, Shakespearian Style

[BadAmy]

Thou Fairest and most Worthy Litsters!​

https://media.giphy.com/media/xUPGcvSRiAdLz4UGoE/giphy.gif?cid=ecf05e47d0f4rzez2ryyk1z0e5qnuaxg1tebcm449uj5kcbn&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g
Come grace us with thy prevailing loves wisdom.
Beseech upon us mere mortals thou truest of words, divine,
and pleasant as the summer breeze yielding ever wistfully across thine golden fields.
Hark! For mine ears twinge with Delight at your sordid affair,
whispered sweetly with venom, dripping with salt~laden lust!
all of this, dear fellow...I still yearn.

(turn on the sap, let's hear your yummy Thespian pickup lines!)
https://media.giphy.com/media/LYmPfp8dWUxnG/giphy.gif

 

[Bud_Spencer]

I proposed to my wife with this, from Henry V:

Marry, if you would put me to verses or to dance for
your sake, Kate, why you undid me: for the one, I
have neither words nor measure, and for the other, I
have no strength in measure, yet a reasonable
measure in strength. If I could win a lady at
leap-frog, or by vaulting into my saddle with my
armour on my back, under the correction of bragging
be it spoken. I should quickly leap into a wife.
Or if I might buffet for my love, or bound my horse
for her favours, I could lay on like a butcher and
sit like a jack-an-apes, never off. But, before God,
Kate, I cannot look greenly nor gasp out my
eloquence, nor I have no cunning in protestation;
only downright oaths, which I never use till urged,
nor never break for urging. If thou canst love a
fellow of this temper, Kate, whose face is not worth
sun-burning, that never looks in his glass for love
of any thing he sees there, let thine eye be thy
cook. I speak to thee plain soldier: If thou canst
love me for this, take me: if not, to say to thee
that I shall die, is true; but for thy love, by the
Lord, no; yet I love thee too. And while thou
livest, dear Kate, take a fellow of plain and
uncoined constancy; for he perforce must do thee
right, because he hath not the gift to woo in other
places: for these fellows of infinite tongue, that
can rhyme themselves into ladies' favours, they do
always reason themselves out again. What! a
speaker is but a prater; a rhyme is but a ballad. A
good leg will fall; a straight back will stoop; a
black beard will turn white; a curled pate will grow
bald; a fair face will wither; a full eye will wax
hollow: but a good heart, Kate, is the sun and the
moon; or, rather, the sun, and not the moon; for it
shines bright and never changes, but keeps his
course truly. If thou would have such a one, take
me; and take me, take a soldier; take a soldier,
take a king.

 

[Deacon_Voss]

Thou loins twinge at the mere sound of your beautiful voice (I've never been a shakespear fan)

 

[Jake069258]

Thou loins twinge at the mere sound of your beautiful voice (I've never been a shakespear fan)

So... his loins twinge at the sound of his own voice?? Haha

 

[Deacon_Voss]

So... his loins twinge at the sound of his own voice?? Haha

Shit, I hate my voice. I used to be on an fishing and hunting show quite regularly, and I couldn't stand my voice, lol.

Now Amy's voice? I swoon

 

[Mei5ter]

> Shakespeare.

Well, he should be. He wrote most of it.

 

[BadAmy]

Shit, I hate my voice. I used to be on an fishing and hunting show quite regularly, and I couldn't stand my voice, lol.

Now Amy's voice? I swoon

Aww shucks

 

[Jake069258]

Aww shucks

Valorous aft'rnoon fellow lits'rs. If 't be true t is many 'rgasms yond thee crave, prithee wend nay furth'r, jake is h're!!

 

[BadAmy]

> Shakespeare.

Well, he should be. He wrote most of it.

Hornswoggled and bereft with grease am I!
Offer thy deepest of bacony soliloquies,
For I hanker for crackling saltiness!

 

[Pad_Foot]

But!!
This be a day fer dem who’s calls themselves PIRATES
Arghhhh
Not that ancient flowery Bard blather !!

 

[shenglung]

Hornswoggled and bereft with grease am I!
Offer thy deepest of bacony soliloquies,
For I hanker for crackling saltiness!

*prepares impression of the great bard, and skips the unappreciative of his great works*

Oh BadAmy tho I do not no thee well, thou hast a voice most divine. Carried on the zephyr wind known thee as vocaroo, to grace the ears of Litsters one and all. Capturing the imagination with thine musing of avian most duckish, and praise of pork belly most salty and delicious. I hope thy day finds thee most well, and my humble musings doth bring you joyous smile.

 

[Pad_Foot]

*prepares impression of the great bard, and skips the unappreciative of his great works*

Oh BadAmy tho I do not no thee well, thou hast a voice most divine. Carried on the zephyr wind known thee as vocaroo, to grace the ears of Litsters one and all. Capturing the imagination with thine musing of avian most duckish, and praise of pork belly most salty and delicious. I hope thy day finds thee most well, and my humble musings doth bring you joyous smile.

Keelhaul me now, this blighter has a tongue as slick as sea serpent blood
Wenches must wet their kickers when he wags his tongue

 

[Bud_Spencer]

Is iambic pentameter required?

 

[BadAmy]

Is iambic pentameter required?

You may use as many meters as possible. For thou art witty and whimsical all together!


Nay I admit, an unrhymed Iambic pentameter does make the nether regions rather tropical.

 

[BadAmy]

*prepares impression of the great bard, and skips the unappreciative of his great works*

Oh BadAmy tho I do not no thee well, thou hast a voice most divine. Carried on the zephyr wind known thee as vocaroo, to grace the ears of Litsters one and all. Capturing the imagination with thine musing of avian most duckish, and praise of pork belly most salty and delicious. I hope thy day finds thee most well, and my humble musings doth bring you joyous smile.

Man, for thou art such a creature. I confess most humbly, thou hast slain me.

 

[Bud_Spencer]

You may use as many meters as possible. For thou art witty and whimsical all together!

'Tis a delightful turn when, bechance
M'lady appears betwixt the wind and this bedraggled knight
And reminds him thus of the fragrant field where he did woo her
Leaving hunger where most she satisfies.

 

[BadAmy]

Valorous aft'rnoon fellow lits'rs. If 't be true t is many 'rgasms yond thee crave, prithee wend nay furth'r, jake is h're!!

Oooh! Thy numerous and glorious rophes are apost!

 

[Pad_Foot]

For thou hast brought upon these boards the tongue of those at sea and cast them aside on their recognition day, get thee to a nunnery lest the pirates find yer and make the two backed beast agin yer will.

 

[shenglung]

For thou hast brought upon these boards the tongue of those at sea and cast them aside on their recognition day, get thee to a nunnery lest the pirates find yer and make the two backed beast agin yer will.

Ignorith the wolf for he doth not knowest that which he speaketh, for he is but a simple beast. So I beg thee gentle Litster pay no heed to his prattle, and let us doth continue in thine cheer and merriment.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Scoundrel, she hast begat the page that honors the day
and then turns get back upon gracing the page with nary a word

 

[BadAmy]

my good men, the humanity of it all!
cast not thy foes astray! Nary a word other than selfless love should pass these lips within, and with such passing ,should entreat all to come forth, gracing the day with utterances of sweet admiration!
Vain is the heart which grows to yearn for self, but warm glows the fire of each man, for into this thought, I pray- your good natures, kind sirs, begin to flow, and merrily!
come now- arm in arm, and indulge in thine instruction!

 

[shenglung]

my good men, the humanity of it all!
cast not thy foes astray! Nary a word other than selfless love should pass these lips within, and with such passing ,should entreat all to come forth, gracing the day with utterances of sweet admiration!
Vain is the heart which grows to yearn for self, but warm glows the fire of each man, for into this thought, I pray- your good natures, kind sirs, begin to flow, and merrily!
come now- arm in arm, and indulge in thine instruction!

My fair lady for who am I to deny such eloquent a request for respite from hostilities, for I have no quarrel with the wolf. I wished only to educate him to haveth respect for the bard, and his fellow Litsters who wish to partake in soliloquy and verse. I doth humbly ask thy forgiveness for my transgressions, and may nary another murmur of malcontent sully this evening.

 

[BadAmy]

My fair lady for who am I to deny such eloquent a request for respite from hostilities, for I have no quarrel with the wolf. I wished only to educate him to haveth respect for the bard, and his fellow Litsters who wish to partake in soliloquy and verse. I doth humbly ask thy forgiveness for my transgressions, and may nary another murmur of malcontent sully this evening.

Here, a forgiving heart you find.

 

[BadAmy]

Hast the curtain of the glorious morn fallen so hastily?
For tis a lie!
Hast all the finest of gentle lads and lasses promptly vacated the store which holds thy delicious vocabulary?

A a second falsehood escapes my fingers!

Raptured clutch and collapse, for to both I have succumbed.
Cover me by and by with nary a chance for the great golden beacon bear witness to the freshly painted tears marked upon the alabaster drapes of my frame.

Oh sweetest angel of night, with pitch hued wings that counter my breath, gather thy servant close so that eternal solace be found, under your care.

I am ded.



Aaaaand scene.

 

[Pad_Foot]

Nay there is only me beneath these garments, nary a codpiece or other artiface
for what you discern is only my deep joy at seeing thee