Flattering or Freaky?

[Guest]

Just a quick question here. There's a man I like at work, oh I'm female btw , and we're more or less work friends, as in we're friendly to a point at work but don't see each other outside of it.

For reasons that would bore most of you and the rest can maybe figure out if they've ever been in this situation, it wouldn't be a good idea to tell him how I feel. We've never really talked about personal stuff because at work, when would it really come up anyway, and he does have a girlfriend though not a serious one. And she lives about 4 hours away.

Here's the question. His birthday is coming up, and I was thinking of sending him something anonymously. Nothing major, just a card and a few flowers or something like that, and having it delivered to work. It's OK, people do it all the time, deliveries ofr occasions I mean. He might suspect it was me, but before I deal with any of that, the questions mostly for the men, if a 'secret admirer' sent you flowers, would you be flattered or convinced you've got a stalker? Just wanting a guy's POV on this one.

 

[Sparky Kronkite]

Do both....

Send him a "bit over the edge" - a "secret admirer, from work" gift.

And then also..... this is the clincher.

Give him a straight up, nothing wrong with it, "work friend" gift. Something a bit stodgy.

See if he eventually brings up to you, because you're so close to him - you, the "straight up work friend" - the gift from the secret admirer.

If he does that - feel out how he feels about the secret admirer - if he's even a bit turned on - you just might have yourself a huge score.

God I'm good at this stuff.

 

[OUTSIDER]

I got flower's at work once and although I was ribbed for a bit it was really lovely, I know this sounds a bit girly but us guys just don't get that kind of attention at work and it was nice.

 

[wolfy]

Stalk me!

I don't think most men are concerned about being stalked. If I got a gift like that I'd prob die of curiousity but I wouldn't be afraid.

 

[Jester]

Go for it! I think it's fine if a woman takes the initiative is she has feelings for a guy.

Besides, guys like getting stuff, too, even if they don't say so!

And no, it's not stalking. Don't worry.

 

[Thumper]

Flowers..for moi?

I only worry about being stalked if it involves celery...at work I guess it could be considered salary....if you are in the payroll dept...perhaps it would be a stalk of salary?

Send'em, I would dig it..he will too

 

[Roll-One]

go ahead and send them, i don't think worry to much about being stalked, might make him fel pretty good knowing he has a secret admirer, and the other guys might be alittle jealous...lol

 

[Whispersecret]

I wouldn't, because he has a girlfriend.

 

[Stormystarr]

I have to agree with WS here, who knows what she may do, she may appear harmless enough now, but if you try to take her man she might just come after you with a butcher knife, or other various weapons.

Be careful.

 

[catlover]

secret admirer

if i were the guy, id be very pleased. Just take it slow and dont be pushy or clinging or at all possessive if he should respond to you in any way. He might even have a liking for you too, but in these days of the sexual harassment crap, be afraid to let you know it. I wouldnt sweat the girlfriend for a minute as long as you give him all the space he needs to make his own decisions

 

[Ambrosious]

Wait until he breaks up with the girlfriend first. If you don't and become the reason he does break up with her...well that aint good. Besides, if he doesn't love the one he's with, why is she still in the picture? That isn't love, it's the fear of being alone.

I'll go now, I'm starting to sound like a country song.

 

[Cheyenne]

Girlfriend? If he has a good relationship with her, he'll probably tell her all about getting flowers at work from a secret friend. No harm done, might give her a little incentive to be more creative with him, too. If he doesn't have a good relationship with her, your timing might be perfect. Send them.

One exception: If he is your boss, or you are his. Or any variation of that power dynamic (your boss' boss, etc.) That would get way too tricky and isn't worth the risk.

 

[R Nitelight]

You know, you'd be a pretty weird guy if your name was Iris.

 

[jaylips69]

I see no Problem with it

Iris,

I think this is a wonderful idea. Some of us men try to be so "Macho" we forget to be human. I read a great book one time called "Man of Steel and Velvet" and have tried to be that man every since. I still fail miserably sometimes, but I try. If he is a man worth pursuing he will be flattered and will like the gesture very much.

Sorry, guys if I stepped on any one's toes. However, if the shoe fits, wear it. And also remember, "The bit dog hollars the loudest."

Jay

 

[Cheyenne]

Decided to take my own advice

I thought about this thread today and decided to take my own advice. My best friend is a married guy, and he's been pretty sick recently. They are still doing lots of tests to try to figure out what is wrong with him, but he is in pain. I can hear it in his voice. I called the florist this morning and sent over a nice Fall bouquet of flowers (they suggested it would be more masculine looking) to my friend's house with a simple note saying I hope he is feeling better. I figured his wife couldn't get too upset, she gets to enjoy the flowers, too! My friend called me immediately when they were delivered to thank me. I think it really did cheer him up, he even sounded better.

So, it isn't exactly the same situation as you're asking about, but I confirm my original "send them" answer. All of us like to know that others are thinking about us sometimes.

 

[lala]

definitely, all of those,... (that said send them)