FlamingoBlue...A Ray of Hope ~
- Thread starter *bratcat*
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FlamingoBlue
a simple country lawyer
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2000
- Posts
- 2,994
Thanks for the thought, cathy....
It is one thing to say the words and quite another to live by them. A few therapy sessions will not change a lifetime of behavior and beliefs. The type of change that the writer is seeking is only possible with time,understanding, sincere committment,and guidance from a trained professional.
The letter that you printed is only the beginning of a very long process. The behavior to be modified didn't happen overnight. One can't expect change to occur quickly.
The letter is a beautiful sentiment, but action speaks louder than words.
blue
It is one thing to say the words and quite another to live by them. A few therapy sessions will not change a lifetime of behavior and beliefs. The type of change that the writer is seeking is only possible with time,understanding, sincere committment,and guidance from a trained professional.
The letter that you printed is only the beginning of a very long process. The behavior to be modified didn't happen overnight. One can't expect change to occur quickly.
The letter is a beautiful sentiment, but action speaks louder than words.
blue
Last edited:
Sensua
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 10, 2001
- Posts
- 228
I've recently finished reading a book called "The Dance of Anger" by Harriet Lerner, PhD and it talks at length about the circular dances we do with each other.
The Over-functioning/Under-functioning cycle is clearly mentioned in this letter. As one partner Over-functions, it removes the need of the other to fundtion at all and they become under-functioners.
The more you over-function, the more they under-function....circular, see?
Breaking the cycle is a difficult and a long process, and requires constant vigilence. Both partners do not need to participate, but it is important to realize what your role is and change your own position. The outcome is never predictable. Sometimes when the cycle is broken, couples are less comfortable with each other than when they started. And there are always attempts to reinstate the circular dance that has become so familar.
Good luck to you and whom ever will be needing it!
The Over-functioning/Under-functioning cycle is clearly mentioned in this letter. As one partner Over-functions, it removes the need of the other to fundtion at all and they become under-functioners.
The more you over-function, the more they under-function....circular, see?
Breaking the cycle is a difficult and a long process, and requires constant vigilence. Both partners do not need to participate, but it is important to realize what your role is and change your own position. The outcome is never predictable. Sometimes when the cycle is broken, couples are less comfortable with each other than when they started. And there are always attempts to reinstate the circular dance that has become so familar.
Good luck to you and whom ever will be needing it!
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