First time...

[kblug47]

for everything. I've seen a lot of posts here about things that have "never" happened so wanted to throw out some encouragement to keep trying. I love going down on my wife, but she's never been that into it. I used to be bothered by this - thought it was my technique etc. but I just couldn't get her to open up and tell me what she wanted etc. The rest of our sex life was pretty good really so this isolated issue hasn't been a big deal. So here's the good news. A couple nights ago we're kissing in bed and for no apparent reason and without warning she asks me to "take me with your tongue." I proceed to lick her patiently, after about 10 minutes she's bucking her hips and starts getting pretty verbal (not at all like her) - "suck my clit baby, make me come all over your hot tongue" for example. She came so hard I had to hold on to maintain contact through it all. It was just great. After she recovered she gave me the best handjob of our 15 year marriage - slow, teasing, firm at the right times - I came so hard that my load landed on the pillow behind my head.

So here's a question. Do I talk to her about it? Ask what went so right both in our relationship to get her to open up this way and also with the actual oral technique that got her off so well? Or do I just roll with it. Not sure which is best - don't want to make a big deal out of it if it's a natural breakthrough and talking about it would draw too much attention and possibly sabotage it. On the other hand, I'm really hopeful we've passed into a new phase of improving our intimacy/sex life and don't want this past weekend to be a one-time deal. Thoughts?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

I don't think that expressing how great you thought your lovemaking was the other night will cause any problems. On the contrary, if it was out of the ordinary for you both she might feel disappointed if you let it pass without comment. I'm sure she knows that it was different and special for you both. If she wants to elaborate on what prompted the change in her, she'll have the opportunity. If she'd rather not discuss it in much depth, I'm sure she'll let you know.

I'd make a comment at an intimate but non-sexual time if I were you. If you mention it right before you have sex again, or right after a less than explosive session, she might feel pressured and that you expect the same or even more from her. Keep the pressure off but let her know that you appreciate the effort she made very much.

Best of luck

 

[bailadora]

I would encourage you to talk to her, but don't make a huge deal out of it - instead keep the conversation low key. Perhaps you might snuggle with her on the couch with a glass of wine and start along the lines of how you both really seemed to enjoy the other evening and how much enjoyment you derived from being able to please her in this manner. You might ask if there was anything that helped her relax enough to be in the frame of mind to receive and/or if there is anything she would like for you to repeat or initiate. Hopefully she'll be more open to communicating if you express your interest in terms of an honest desire to better please her. As an aside: if she does share details with you, don't take it as challenge to recreate this each and every time you make love with her. Sometimes for no reasonable explanation, a woman will just not be able to orgasm. If she starts to feel like this is your goal each time you are intimate, then she may start to feel pressured to perform, so to speak.

That said, congrats on such an awesome experience and I wish you both the best.

 

[kblug47]

thanks, and one more thought...

Both suggestions about where my instincts were as well. The performance issue isn't a big one for us - or at least hasn't been with intercourse as we're lucky in that we have simultaneous orgasms with vaginal sex most of the time. It's rare when one of us can't come with the other - usually related to one of us being sleep deprived (two young kids). I appreciate the thought though as her being able to come from oral once shouldn't become the expectation given that she hasn't really enjoyed oral over the years.

I can predict the responses to this one I think, but I'll throw another question out anyway. Any thoughts on whether I should be open about my preference that she shave? She's never shaved, and I wouldn't want it to be complete, but I believe trimming would help me please her orally given that it would be easier to access all the right spots. Just to be clear - there's no fetish thing here - I think she's really sexy the way she is, I don't have any hidden nonsense about wanting her to look like a little girl, etc. Just thinking the oral would be better for her if her labia were more available so to speak. Given the new experience, this discussion would happen no time soon if at all...just thinking ahead...

 

[SweetErika]

Do you trim or shave?

If not, maybe you could tell her you're interested in trying it because it seems like it might increase sensitivity or produce different sensations, then ask if she'd have any objection to you giving it a shot with the understanding that if either of you don't like it, it'll grow right back.

If she's okay with it, maybe try trimming the main part of your pubes and shaving your balls. If you genuinely do like it, you can rave about the sensitivity and wonder aloud why you didn't try this sooner.

From there, maybe she'll get the idea to groom on her own or with a gentle suggestion from you in the future. Perhaps it'd be something "fun" you could try together and/or intimate you could do for each other.

 

[CherryBomb24]

i'm one of the few woman out there that love giving a blow job but i never really cared to be eaten out. Its not technique or the guy at all for that matter, its just not appealing to me.
Once in a while i'll ask for it but not very often.
I dont know if me and your wife are similar but it doesnt always hurt to ask.
No pressure on her tho, or she'll feel forced to do it, or react the opposite and refuse to do it again.

 

[mrtbear1956]

Hi All

I am like you all , dont pust it , take it slow , if you can get her to shave it , it great that way , my first wife did and i loved it and so did she, we did a lots of roles after a while it was great to try one out and we loved it ,

WE tryed diff. things to make it taste better, we found a stawberry type bath wash , at a store we both enjoyed , it was not much to buy it .

It may be you and find a type of bath wash you like to smell . we tryed diff jellys and things but stawberry was the best , as we both loved them .

When she took a bath in it or a shower and the smell was on her ,we went at it like hot and wild .
it was great it kicked our love life in to high gear even more ,
she was killed in 01, i still miss her and have remarr. but it not the same as with her ,

I HOPE you and find your smell and enjoy it as much as we did , well keep us posted of how it goes , later karl

 

[SweetErika]

WE tryed diff. things to make it taste better, we found a stawberry type bath wash , at a store we both enjoyed , it was not much to buy it .

It may be you and find a type of bath wash you like to smell . we tryed diff jellys and things but stawberry was the best , as we both loved them .

What was wrong with your wife's natural smell and taste?

Have you ever enjoyed a woman's natural scent and taste, or are they things you've always universally disliked?