First Time Experience

[CuriousSweetness]

Hi!

Umm... I'm not sure how to start this, or if I've even chosen the right place for it, but I know I need help, or some kind of advice, because I'm very unsure of what happened no less than 30mins ago.

I was talking to a male friend of mine this morning about my being curious about BDSM, and how the thought of experiencing something even close to it would make me feel.

He surprised me by showing up this afternoon, and showing/teaching me what being dominated was all about. He taught me that I needed to be able to handle pain, take orders, and be able to let go of my control.

Near the end I got such a feeling of intensity. I couldn't believe what was happening. My senses suddenly felt so alive. I found myself really wanting to please him.

And now I'm sitting here feeling confused about it all. I mean is this what I really want to experience all the time, or is it just another sexual experince for me? Another notch on my belt?

I really don't know. I hope I'm not letting my curious nature get me in too deep.

Is what I'm feeling normal?

If anyone can help me, that would be great.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

... He surprised me by showing up this afternoon, and showing/teaching me what being dominated was all about. He taught me that I needed to be able to handle pain, take orders, and be able to let go of my control...

Darling, he did not show or teach you what being dominated is all about in a single afternoon. But it is clear that he gave you a taste of it, he opened a door for you to start your learning.

BDSM (Bondage & Discipline, Domination/submission, Sado-Masochism) is a broad spectrum of relationship styles, kinks, practices, play, service, fetishes, and lifestyle choices. If this is part of who and what you are, you may very well spend the rest of your life learing what it is all about. I've been actively involved in this lifestyle for almost a decade and I'm not about to claim I know it all... There's always more to learn. *nodnodnod*

What you are feeling sounds like a very typical reaction to being introduced to BDSM, that's called "sub frenzy". And there are many threads on the boards already about it, so I won't re-invent the wheel. Here are a few links to discussions on Lit that you might find helpful:

am I SUPPOSED to feel like this
First Time
"Sub frenzy" and similar stuff
Submissive Frenzy

Hope that helps!

 

[catalina_francisco]

What you need to do is decide what YOU want and need, not what you are told you have to do. Pain does not have to be a part of submitting...it all depends whether that is part of what you want. As to just turning up, I am hoping he at least got your consent before doing anything, and explained you do not have to consent to anything and if you do not consent, that is where it should stop until and if you do decide to consent. It may be you only want to play occasionally, it may be you will want more, only you will be able to answer this as you explore further. Good luck and hope it is an enjoyable journey for you.

Catalina

 

[secretvictoria]

In my experience dominant men have few hard limits. Most boundaries on play are dictated by the sub. If you feel you are submissive and want to experiment with this guy again you need to have a think about what you do and do not want to try at this stage.

Google a few BDSM checklists as an idea of what sort of things people have on their "no way!" lists. Then sit this guy down and find out what his agenda is. Does he want no strings fun? A relationship? If you want to be friends with this guy after all that has happened you need to set your boundaries now and be firm. If he tells you that's not submissive he's being a manipulative asshat.

 

[Runner_3]

my ex gf made me lay on my stomach on her bed one time. she didnt tie me up or anything but told me not to move and that she was going to dominate me and no matter what I said she was gonna do what she wanted. I was like "ok, sure". She started calling me her bitch and then she started to finger me. I had never had anything in my ass before, never even thought about it. She finged me with one, two, then 3 fingers for awhile. She stopped and licked my hole some. Then she started to shove a 7 inch viberator in my tight ass. I was screaming and moaning so loud. It hurt so much but it also got me harder. She loved hearing me scream and moan that loud.

 

[Softouch911]

Hi!

He surprised me by showing up this afternoon, and showing/teaching me what being dominated was all about. .

Um, no he didn't, as EG said. He gave you an experience and you feel like you learned something immense.

That's a good thing.

Now you can begin learning something that will take the rest of your life, and you'll still be "beginning."

The pain thing may be okay, since you apparently weren't turned too far off by it. I hope he also said gave you Rules number 1 through number 10:

If it ain't fun, don't do it.

And no, it's not normal. It's called kink and that's one of the reasons lots of us like it.

Welcome!

Respectfully,
ST