First time, can't come.

[BrightEyes79]

Hi, I'm 26 and a virgin (long story). I can make my girlfriend cum loads but at the moment it isn't happening for me. I fancy her loads, and she gives a great blowjob. Problem is, I am just too used to myself, I think. At the moment, she just can't get up the turn of speed I need to get off.

We haven't had full intercourse yet btw, and I don't want to till this is sorted. Foreplay is great, and goes on for hours. Advice please!

 

[coolr]

wait for intercourse? *shrugs*

 

[BrightEyes79]

Rather not have to. If I do, I'll be worried the same thing will happen during intercourse.

 

[coolr]

hmmmm, well since you say she can't work up enough speed to get you off during a blowjob, get her to try a hand job, she should be able to do it then

 

[BrightEyes79]

No, not enough speed with the handjob!

 

[DarkAurora]

Try jerking off with her there. It might make you feel more sexually comfortable with her.

 

[krazeekat]

Try jerking off with her there. It might make you feel more sexually comfortable with her.

Yes try thatt. Problem is you're not comfortable cumming with another person with you. Maybe you're self conscious?

 

[BrightEyes79]

yeah, good advice. I think that will have to wait a bit though, we are still pretty shy around each other at the moment.

I have experienced this with her though. It was cool, just not what I'm after at this time!

 

[Volomon]

Nah just wait for intercourse, if you use a condom that could be or would be a problem for you. So birth control and get both of you checked up for STDs. Only do it if you really trust each other.

I can never get off with a condom, I mean 2-3 hours of sex wouldn't make me cum.

If speed is an issue your not going to get off with BJ I never have probably never will. Intercourse is the only answer and I doubt if she really cares if you cum. Shit more fun for her right.

 

[BrightEyes79]

If speed is an issue your not going to get off with BJ I never have probably never will. Intercourse is the only answer and I doubt if she really cares if you cum. Shit more fun for her right.

That's what she says! Still, it would be nice to get it sorted, y'know?

I really came on here because I'm worried I've spent such a long time jerking off, I'll never be able to get there any other way...

 

[Volomon]

Good luck! Have fuN ! Ohya don't worry if you don't cum the first time just keep going at it try doggy style if you can, you'd like it if speed is what you need.

 

[trodas]

I read once that when one is used to DIY so long, then he can't come any other way, that he is too used...

Looks like the doctors are right and it could happen.

They also suggested a fix.

Practice with sex as much, as possible - and not only that, the other suggestions like let her handjob to the job is worthy too, even if her hands are too slow to make you cum - still, you get more used to her, so the chances to fix this is better

Other than that, be her, I won't cooperate at all on fixing this matter It is definitively much better for her that you can't come

 

[Brainboyz]

Try this: Don't masterbate and don't stimulate that area for two weeks. Look at as much porn as you want and get her off as much as you want, but keep your underwear on. The following Saturday (or full day off) let loose.

 

[coolr]

lol i like brainboyz idea haha, that will definately work

 

[Willing and Unsure]

my guy had this problem for awhile when we first started having sex with each other. Neither of us were virgins either when we met. I'll skip all the stuff in between the problem and what works for us now. Basically, when he knows there's a chance for us to be having sex, he makes it a point to not play with himself for a couple of days before and I make it a point to verbally arouse him as much as I can for those couple of days. It usually does the trick for us.

And so you know, he has a hard time having an orgasm from a blow job as well. I usually turn it into a fun time where we both work. I'm in control of the whole situation and he just lays back to enjoy, at least until I put his hands on his cock to have him stroke himself. But I dont just sit back and watch there. Normally what ends up happening is I start to try stimulating him in other places and ways (sucking on his balls, massaging the prostate area, etc.) so it's an extremely intense bit for him. So far, that's the only way he can orgasm from a blow job. Hope this all helps you some for a few ideas that might help you.

 

[taolanes]

I actually researched this topic, and believe it or not there is a way to fix it. The first thing is to do "men kegel excercises." It's not an ancient chinese secret, but VERY few men know about it and they would benefit from it if they knew. Search for it on google for detailed description. But basically try stopping your pee in the middle, and that is the muscle. Try squeezing that muscle 5 times a day and eventually you get harder quicker and cum a lot more. Also, don't masturbate so rough because it could desensitize you to a girl

 

[lost5pints]

to be honest i didn't read everyones suggestions.....but i have had this problem throughout my sexually active years....every time ive been with a new partner this has happened to me....even with my wife and we have been apart for long periods of time not coming to orgasm has arisen fro me.....i think it is a matter of lightening up.....and trust me....its not such a bad problem to have with a new lover.....if you use it to full advantage could be damn near awe inspireing to them....bbut just lighten up....if this is difficult....take 2-4 shots of tequila....have her than blindfold you and take advantage of you at her will.....thwe lowered inhibitions along with the lack of visual stimuli could make it very enjoyable and may get you over non-self performance anxiaty(couldn't think of another phrase for it).....come to think of it that sounds fun.....maybe i should let my loving wife do that to me when im home in may.....have fun.....L5p's

 

[silverwhisper]

brighteyes: how much are you flying solo before you meet up w/ her? that alone could be the problem. everyone else's ideas re: "saving up" seem pretty good.

ed

 

[Brinnie]

i think we lost brighteyes

 

[NYSubGrpplr]

I had the same problem like the firstr 10 times I had sex. Stop jerking off Like a violent mad man. When you get used to jerking at 100 mph and then try to cum from a BJ it just won't happen.

Give the jerking a rest for a few days and then try again.

 

[zerimar1231]

While giving you a blowjob your GF should alternate between your balls and shaft. She can take you balls into her mouth and suck on them for 20 sec then take your penis in, back and forth, i found that's a great way for my bf to get off. It's not something that you can do yourself so it may just get you there. You might want to consider suspending you masturbatory habits for a little while and letting your GF take care of your needs! Good luck! Keep us updated!

 

[nycphoto]

Blowjobs and intercourse are two different animals. My suggestion is to forget about not being able to cum with a blow jog and go ahead and do her. You will have no problem cumming when you are going her, trust me. It is the closest thing to yourself, so do it missionary style.

 

[GonzoTheGreat65]

Hey Dude

The first couple times I had sex I had trouble getting it all the way up because I was so nervous. One poster said to not masterbate within a couple of days before sex. I would say for 5 days do not jerk off before you have sex with a girl. Foreplay helps you to get built up so to speak. Don't get to obsessed with porn because the more you look at it the harder it is to get turned on by other people. The more you do it the less of a big deal it will be each time. This sounds corny but it is true.

 

[muddpuppy]

I talked to my boyfriend about your problem, he told me to tell you try some of these things, dont dry hump before hand especially if your wearing something tight (like jeans) b/c when she goes down on you the sensation wont be as intense. He says its a mind game, tell yourself while shes givin you head, shes suckin my cock, im in control, take it bitch, put her on her knees to make yourself feel more like your dominating her. Try not to masturbate 2 or 3 days prior. He says dont worry he went through the same thing and after the first couple times of not finishing by head but by masturbation he put his mind into it more and was able to catch a nut.