First Time Anal
- Thread starter welh005
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mothership
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You want to. He wants to. I am confused?
M
mothership
Guest
If you know he wants it he will not think badly.
You need to try to open up your communication a little bit or anal won't be enjoyable for you in the first place. Just start talking more openly about sex and it will come up.
Okay, I'll try talking about it.
I would also appreciate advice on how to let him know I'm more submissive that he thinks..
He's pretty slow and sensitive, more into "making love", but I really just want him to fuck me. I know talking would be the best answer, but I have a hard time with communication and something like this is not something I can just blurt out. I love him, and he loves me, but I keep thinking if I tell him what I really want, and he doesn't want it.. maybe he won't want me anymore.
I would also appreciate advice on how to let him know I'm more submissive that he thinks..
He's pretty slow and sensitive, more into "making love", but I really just want him to fuck me. I know talking would be the best answer, but I have a hard time with communication and something like this is not something I can just blurt out. I love him, and he loves me, but I keep thinking if I tell him what I really want, and he doesn't want it.. maybe he won't want me anymore.
ArchLady03
Literotica Guru
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If he loves you he won't judge you when you want to talk openly about your needs. This should be true emotionally as well as sexually. If he suddenly balks at your honesty then he isn't as sensitive as you think he is. Trust in the bond you have!
fire_breeze
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In my not so humble opinion, if you cannot/are too shy to talk about sex (whether it is about logistics, attitudes, protection, a specific sexual act, or anything else to do with sex), then you shouldn't be having sex. Period.
This is something, I am sorry to say, that you cannot beat around the bush and must have a frank, honest and open discussion about. If you trust him, then you shouldn't have to think that he will think badly of you if you bring it up. If you do have that fear then you should be really asking yourself why.
Mothership said that you need to open up your communication a little. I'd like to expand on it and say you need to open your communication a lot. You can't just assume that he will read your mind - you sort of have to, you know, tell him, and tell him straight on so that there cannot be any misunderstandings.
And by the way, in case you think that I'm some type of blunt individual, this is coming from someone who is quite shy, ridiculously introverted, extremely tactful, fundamentally unassuming and fanatically private.
ETA:
Oh sweetie, you both need to sit down and have an open, comfortable discussion about sex. If you think that he doesn't want you anymore because you are opening up about your desires this early on (and it's not like you're asking to be hogtied in Central Park and be gagged with an apple while he tasers you as he's singing the theme song from TBBT), then there's a red flag.
Baby steps. Start small, and then work up to larger issues as your confidence builds. Maybe when you two are having sex, take a bit more charge and tell him to fuck you harder and see where that goes. However, you do need to talk about this aspect of your relationship with your partner.
Last edited:
no_naysayer
Virgin
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Just offer it to him. Pull your arsecheeks apart so he's no doubt what you want...
Since you already know he wants it, I suggest teasing him with your sweet little ass until he can't resist it any longer. You don't have to say anything just make him want to so bad that he asks you for it.
Next time he is enjoying you in doggy style try reaching your hands around and pull your butt cheeks apart so that your sweet little button asshole is winking at him. Or you could stroke your delicious puckered ass with one finger while he is trusting deep inside you.
The teasing itself will be a huge turn on for both of you and make the eventual anal experience even better.
Next time he is enjoying you in doggy style try reaching your hands around and pull your butt cheeks apart so that your sweet little button asshole is winking at him. Or you could stroke your delicious puckered ass with one finger while he is trusting deep inside you.
The teasing itself will be a huge turn on for both of you and make the eventual anal experience even better.
I have a hard time believing that anal is the chosen starting point of exploration for a woman. Either somebody has fallen prey to peer pressure/hype or they actually believe porn is based on reality.
...and no matter what his age, if he isn't able to take the lead and communicate clearly with you, making your relationship a safe, non-judgemental haven for you both to explore your sexuality as individuals and partners, he's NOT as experienced as you think! And no man should be granted access to your most intimate places -- the mind or body -- without first proving he is worthy of the honour.
Many random partners does not an experienced lover make.
...and no matter what his age, if he isn't able to take the lead and communicate clearly with you, making your relationship a safe, non-judgemental haven for you both to explore your sexuality as individuals and partners, he's NOT as experienced as you think! And no man should be granted access to your most intimate places -- the mind or body -- without first proving he is worthy of the honour.
Many random partners does not an experienced lover make.
Heidi123
Literotica Guru
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I have a hard time believing that anal is the chosen starting point of exploration for a woman. Either somebody has fallen prey to peer pressure/hype or they actually believe porn is based on reality.
...and no matter what his age, if he isn't able to take the lead and communicate clearly with you, making your relationship a safe, non-judgemental haven for you both to explore your sexuality as individuals and partners, he's NOT as experienced as you think! And no man should be granted access to your most intimate places -- the mind or body -- without first proving he is worthy of the honour.
Many random partners does not an experienced lover make.
Totally agree!!!
I think the first time talking about what you want in bed is the hardest, but if he loves you he would be excited to talk with you about it. From there it just gets easier (and things get more fun!). Maybe if you don't want to be too direct verbally you could use the old trick of telling him you had a dream about something and it made you wake up horny and then tell him what you want.
SweetErika
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I totally agree with Fire!
Since you're both new to anal sex, you REALLY do need to educate yourselves and talk about it. Otherwise, it's likely to be an experience you won't want to repeat anytime soon.
As a conversation starter, you could write to him (and ask him to come discuss the subject with you after he's considered it). You could also try talking in the dark or with low lighting, or while you're cuddling with your back to him. Once you get the discussion flowing, it'll get easier. For me, personally, it's often just a matter of blurting things out then seeing where the conversation goes. Once I get started, it's usually not difficult to continue talking about a subject and segue into other topics of interest.
As for anal specifically, if you haven't gone through the anal section of this sticky, I'd strongly suggest doing so. There are some important steps most people need to take to have good anal sex experiences. He should read up on it as well, so maybe you could even show him the stuff you find interesting.
Since you're both new to anal sex, you REALLY do need to educate yourselves and talk about it. Otherwise, it's likely to be an experience you won't want to repeat anytime soon.
As a conversation starter, you could write to him (and ask him to come discuss the subject with you after he's considered it). You could also try talking in the dark or with low lighting, or while you're cuddling with your back to him. Once you get the discussion flowing, it'll get easier. For me, personally, it's often just a matter of blurting things out then seeing where the conversation goes. Once I get started, it's usually not difficult to continue talking about a subject and segue into other topics of interest.
As for anal specifically, if you haven't gone through the anal section of this sticky, I'd strongly suggest doing so. There are some important steps most people need to take to have good anal sex experiences. He should read up on it as well, so maybe you could even show him the stuff you find interesting.
