First / Third Person

[KeithD]

Can you cite to an example or two? I'd be interested in seeing how that's done.

Shabbu has a file of twenty-two stories here (https://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=859383&page=submissions). All of them use the technique of alternating chapters in a different first-person POV.

I'm about to submit a four-parter here myself, "Racing with the Devil," in which each chapter is a first-person POV by a separate character of the same events as they unravel. The wrap-up chapter switches to the third person.

 

[yukonnights]

'sokay. I'd have given it no better than a two-star myself, if I'm being honest.

You do know I was joking, I hope? I don't recall ever giving a one star vote.

 

[yukonnights]

It does. I understand what people mean when they say they think first person gives a greater sense of immediacy. I don't quite react that way myself as a reader or writer, but many do and I can understand why.

A note, though: Again, not everyone agrees, but when I read a narrative that goes from one first person perspective to another (as opposed to using third person omniscient to do the same) I get puzzled by something, and it usually bugs me. My question is: how does this happen? When you have first person, you're in one person's head, and it's as though that person is writing the story. When you have third person, you know there's a separate narrator, and it makes sense because that person is writing the story. But how do two first person narratives get put together? How is that happening? It usually distracts me. When you tell a story from more than one perspective, the more normal and I think less distracting way to do it is through third person. That's not to say one way is right or wrong, just that at least some readers (I don't think I'm the only one) find this style of narrative usually jarring and not as effective.

I think this resolves back to the well known fact that we all have our unique preferences in just about everything in life. You've spent a lot of time and effort to become proficient in the tools, devices and rules of the style of story you are most comfortable reading. And as I said, I like third person narrative — it's what I started on myself because it was all I knew.

I've done several experimental stories trying to figure out how to enhance that "immediacy" that I enjoy myself as a reader. (some not up to snuff and never published) No doubt, done poorly this approach will be a sad flop. I kinda doubt, given your self described preferences and difficulty in staying in a story with shifting pov, that what I do would be something you enjoy.

However, I specifically asked for feedback on this style on a couple of stories. Based on the comments I received, the majority of comments were positive, with a few that found it confusing. (note: We all know there are shortcomings of putting too much weight on these since those who didn't like it never made it to the end. But, I'm also very satisfied with the scores, for what those are worth due to the same reason as the comments.)

Here's the deal; If you recall, I brought up some time back the topic of Deep POV. That devolved into the same kind of nay saying. I'm not trying to sell anyone on what I want to do because we all are different. But, it should be obvious that to discuss new innovations in style is interesting even if one is perfectly satisfied where they are at in their writing.

I doubt I would use this style on a more traditional story. However, my belief is growing that, for those stories where the author really needs the reader to get "into the heads" of the characters, the type of pov I'm speaking of here is the most immediate. I want my reader to be making love in their mind, not reading about someone making love in a story. It's just a personal goal of mine at the moment. I don't claim to be an expert, or to even be proficient. I may ultimately fail to accomplish that goal, but I'm trying.

At the end of the day, I encourage experimentation and a striving for evolution in pretty much all forms of artistic endeavor. I'm a 'jack' of many artistic skills, and will never be a 'master' of any of them. <- and that pisses me off

I'd suggest a story to preview/sample, but the non-binary subject matter may be off-putting for some. For those open to LGBTQ themes, my latest story 'Lumberyard Miracle' in the link down below is an example of what I'm discussing here. (warning, all 8 pages of it ) Constructive comments/feedback welcome.

 

[SimonDoom]

If you recall, I brought up some time back the topic of Deep POV. That devolved into the same kind of nay saying. I'm not trying to sell anyone on what I want to do because we all are different. But, it should be obvious that to discuss new innovations in style is interesting even if one is perfectly satisfied where they are at in their writing.

e.

I do recall that discussion, and I think the topic is very interesting. I react strongly as a reader to the way a story is written, and I've shared some of my thoughts on that, but they're my reactions and nothing more. My own writing is evolving. I'm going to use this thread as a springboard to seeing how other authors handle POV.

 

[Voboy]

You do know I was joking, I hope? I don't recall ever giving a one star vote.

No worries!

Actually, I'd probably have given it a three.

 

[Bramblethorn]

A note, though: Again, not everyone agrees, but when I read a narrative that goes from one first person perspective to another (as opposed to using third person omniscient to do the same) I get puzzled by something, and it usually bugs me. My question is: how does this happen? When you have first person, you're in one person's head, and it's as though that person is writing the story. When you have third person, you know there's a separate narrator, and it makes sense because that person is writing the story. But how do two first person narratives get put together? How is that happening?

Epistolary novels are one way to answer that question, if one feels it needs an answer: the different parts of the story represent letters/journals/etc. from different characters. The original Dracula is an example.

Stross's "Laundry" novels are typically framed as after-action reports by "Bob Howard" or other operatives, with each book having a single first-person narrator, but occasionally they switch into third person for scenes the narrator wasn't present for. The explanation given for this is along the lines of "this represents our best guess as to what was going on, based on the information we have". It works reasonably well - definitely less jarring than his "Rule 34" series, which uses three different second-person perspectives!

 

[Ezrollin]

First or Third Person

Thanks everyone for you input. It's been a while but I thought I would give writing another try. It's a little embarrassing when at look at my first attempts. Although they didn't really score to badly for what they were...my first attempts at writing. I think everyone has to develop his or her own style and write the type of story they feel comfortable with. I'm working on one now that has changed directions a couple of times. I've found out you can't be lazy, if it needs re-writing then re-write it.

 

[Voboy]

Thanks everyone for you input. It's been a while but I thought I would give writing another try. It's a little embarrassing when at look at my first attempts. Although they didn't really score to badly for what they were...my first attempts at writing. I think everyone has to develop his or her own style and write the type of story they feel comfortable with. I'm working on one now that has changed directions a couple of times. I've found out you can't be lazy, if it needs re-writing then re-write it.

Good.

There are a billion threads here asking for advice on how to write. My experience suggests that that answer is likely to be highly variable. One person's advice is unlikely to work the same way for another writer; parts of it might work, but my feeling is that it's best if your writing is as organic as it can be.

That means devising your own ideas and thoughts, yes, but also figuring out what voice you prefer, whether you can rely on your own vocab or need a thesaurus, and whether you need someone else to proof or edit you.

Jump in. If you get it wrong, your readers will tell you so. Likewise if you get it right.

 

[KeithD]

Readers will tell you if you get it right or wrong? Then, I guess, I don't get it at all

Yep. 8 percent of your readers will tell you you got it right and 8 percent will tell you you got it wrong. The rest will tell you nothing. And less than 15 percent of your readers (all of whom are in the "no comment" group) will know any more about writing than you do.

 

[SimonDoom]

Jump in. If you get it wrong, your readers will tell you so. Likewise if you get it right.

Mostly, my readers tell me things like "Liked the story, but I wish son had gotten his mom pregnant."

Lots of chaff and little wheat. If you are looking for meaningful input to improve your writing, you are better off looking elsewhere.

 

[Voboy]

Lol.

Mostly, I meant your number of views, favorites, stuff like that. I'm well aware of how rare comments are.