First story

[Beatnic_jazzman]

Hi,
There seems to be no queue so I'll post straight here.

I've just posted the first chapter of my first story:

http://www.literotica.com/s/sybian-engineer

There are another nine to follow which I'm posting on a one a day basis. I'd be happy to respond to any comments and critiques, I think I know where my weaknesses lie and I'm willing to take on any points that are brought up.

 

[SevenSquared]

I think it's excellent. Is this really your first story? You've clearly done a lot of writing of some kind before...

 

[Beatnic_jazzman]

First time

Yes, it's the first story I've ever published, I've had it brewing a while whilst I've tried to find an editor to stick with me through all ten chapters, (I'm still looking for an editor to help me fine tune my work btw).

I'll be putting another five part one up soon, so you can compare and contrast with that when it's up.

 

[SevenSquared]

If I had to search hard for a criticism it would be that the story description says absolutely nothing about the story at all. This could be a problem as I imagine not everyone even knows what a Sybian is.

Oh, and if I was going to be really picky I would say that I found your opening paragraph a bit pretentious and unnecessary.