First story published

[Beatnic_jazzman]

Hi,

I've just posted the first chapter of a ten part story, the other nine parts are coming on a daily basis. I'd appreciate any feedback and critiques.

http://www.literotica.com/s/sybian-engineer

 

[StrawberryJones]

Intriguing

I wasn't too fond of the intro, to be honest I skipped over the latter of it, Sorry!

I found the actual story to be written very well and it deifinately captured my attention. Very well written - proper spelling and usage of words. I will be looking forward to the continuation of your sybian machine project! Thanks.