First Story Posted
- Thread starter Jason37
- Start date
iwatchus
Older than that
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2015
- Posts
- 1,926
Your first one is memorable isn’t it. Congratulations! You probably don’t want a thread for each of hopefully many more stories. When they come out, there is a thread What have you posted recently. That lets everyone keep up. But relish this one. May the trolls be kind to you
nice90sguy
Out To Lunch
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- May 15, 2022
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- 1,863
There's also this forum, probably a better place to request feedback and advertise.
StillStunned
Mr Sticky
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- Jun 4, 2023
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- 10,326
I enjoyed it more than I thought I would when I started reading. The first part is very exposition-heavy, and normally I'd have clicked away after the first few paragraphs. But it got better, and the sex was hot.
There were some minor technical issues, but overall your writing is competent. Not a bad first effort by any means. Keep it up, and welcome to the hobby!
WaxPhilosophic
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2017
- Posts
- 148
You hooked me with the line: "Thank God you're not another douche obsessed with IPA." That speaks volumes. (Plus, I totally agree.) You told us in that one line that your main character is not a trend chaser and more down to earth. Now, imagine if that were the first line of your story.
"Thank God you're not another douche obsessed with IPA."
I turned at the sound of her voice. Something familiar about it. "Olivia?" I said.
"Hey," she replied, while tucking a bit of stray hair behind her ear.
"You here by yourself?"
"Yeah," she said. "You?"
Then keep rolling with the dialog to tease out the details of the break up. Maybe give Olivia a recent break up too. Something to relate to. Some depth. (I know, this is Literotica, but still...) Interesting characters can turn a four-star roll in the sheets into a five-star story people will be talking about.
Great first effort! Keep it up!
"Thank God you're not another douche obsessed with IPA."
I turned at the sound of her voice. Something familiar about it. "Olivia?" I said.
"Hey," she replied, while tucking a bit of stray hair behind her ear.
"You here by yourself?"
"Yeah," she said. "You?"
Then keep rolling with the dialog to tease out the details of the break up. Maybe give Olivia a recent break up too. Something to relate to. Some depth. (I know, this is Literotica, but still...) Interesting characters can turn a four-star roll in the sheets into a five-star story people will be talking about.
Great first effort! Keep it up!
MelissaBaby
Wordy Bitch
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2017
- Posts
- 8,063
Congratulations.
If I may offer a suggestion, you should put a link to your author profile in your signature line.
iwatchus
Older than that
- Joined
- Sep 12, 2015
- Posts
- 1,926
As an added point, if you don't turn on displaying profiles, you don't realize others do it. When I started here, people mentioned it and I had no idea what they were talking about. The default setting seemed to have been not displaying.
MelissaBaby
Wordy Bitch
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2017
- Posts
- 8,063
That is certainly true, but I have them turned off, and I still frequently check them just to see if the author has linked to their stories.
CalBishForNow
Yes
- Joined
- Oct 17, 2024
- Posts
- 74
I'm not the OP, but each of my last three stories - today, two weeks ago, and three weeks ago - took two days to publish. I'm sure there is a problem, but it's not affecting everyone.
iwatchus
Older than that
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- Sep 12, 2015
- Posts
- 1,926
I'm not sure the problem is still significant any more. There are still stories caught in the backlog (including mine), but the noise of new stories going into pending hell seems to have dropped off massively. But many of us are still hungry for more data to check our sense.
Jason37
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2010
- Posts
- 204
Two days ago. I thought it would take longer, so I am pleasantly surprised.
alohadave
Doing better
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2019
- Posts
- 3,565
Also, on mobile, they don't show up unless you turn the screen to the side
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2017
- Posts
- 7,611
Congratulations! For a first effort, it's very, very good. (Actually, it's that good by any standard, but you know what I mean.)
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