First story feedback

[Trombonus]

Hey everyone,

I just submitted my first story and would like to know what people think.

http://english.literotica.com:81/stories/showstory.php?id=268263

I'm in the process of writing chapter 2 but have reached a bit of a road block, or writers block if you will. I've asked for help and am doing some research, so hopefully I'll get enough feedback, and learn enough from my research to move on with this next chapter in my series.

Thanks in advance!

Trombonus

 

[janiexx]

Hi,

Because you mentioned your story in one of your replies, I'd already taken a quick peek before I saw this post, but as it's late here in the UK, I'll have a proper look tomorrow.

Why don't you add a link to your signature line so your work can be found easily?

The opening paragraphs looked very good, I have to say, so I'll look forward to reading more when my eyes don't feel as if they're full of gravel...

janiexx