First Story Feedback - Ernest Goes to Work

[IndecentTalker]

Hey there! I'd love any feedback on my first story, which is intended as a series. While the second installment is already pending, I'm still working on the third, so can put any feedback to good use!

I'm particularly interested in what aspects of the story are working (descriptions? eroticism? pacing? characterization?), and specific spots where your interest may have lagged or where you felt taken out of the story.

Thank you in advance!

https://www.literotica.com/s/ernest-goes-to-work-pt-01

 

[TheWritingGroup]

It's very well-written. The wordsmithing is spot-on. First person is tricky, you handle it well.

I think I'm in the common Literotica camp that say "too short" to things of that length, especially if (as you imply you agree) it doesn't contain a full story. Readers could potentially like it better if you had included more of your story in this first installment, so we get more of a handle on who the protagonist is.

 

[IndecentTalker]

Thank you so much for the feedback! That makes a lot of sense about the length (so size DOES matter!), and I'll keep it in mind going forward. The second installment is half again as long, which will hopefully be a bit more satisfying.

 

[IndecentTalker]

… and the second installment is up. The third will be longer, but I’m still working on it!

If anyone has feedback—positive or negative!—please share!

https://www.literotica.com/s/ernest-goes-to-work-pt-02