First Person

[Guest]

Let me just throw this out there and see what y'all think...
I have to say that I appreciate most everyone's work on the site, I think there's some great talent out there. But I can't help but be bugged by the stories in first person! I think there's nothing wrong with that point of view normally but to me, erotica is one genre where it should not be used... I understand why one would use it but it just ... it seems to lack literary merit! To me, first persons seem just like some cyber-sex converation copied and pasted with some editing... I guess that's enough ranting for now ;o) Looking forward to more work by everyone.. first person or not (hey, I stll get off on some of those!)

Miranda

 

[MorningStar]

guess in my instance....first person works best cos the stories are based on personal experiences and where they may have or did lead....and I'd rather write like I'm talking to the reader, sharing the experience....but like you said..to each his own...smile

 

[Guest]

Yup Miranda! Couldn't agree more. First person kinda sucks.I mean it gets to be a little wierd when you read it and try and imagine it happening to you - especially if you are not of the same gender as the author!

 

[XXplorher]

Yup. I don’t see the problem w/1st person at all – and I’ve personally used several. If the writer can really pull me in there, well, what am I doing reading it if it doesn’t turn me on the fuck the character, eh? Or be HIM - fucking her.

However, I would agree that continuing shifts from 1st to 3rd and back are highly irritating, particularly within the same paragraph – you’re losing the reader when you do that. They have to stop and think ‘Ok, what’s happening again? Who am I in this?’ Well said Alex.

 

[Guest]

Surely the POV (Point of View) should reflect the circumstances and in some circumstances, the 1st Person POV could be the most appropriate. After all, reading erotica is a safe form of voyeurism, the reader using their imagination to 'watch' others perform sex. To do this they have to read another person's story, so what's the difference between whether that story is told in a disembodied fly-on-the-wall 3rd Person POV or an involved 1st Person POV? As I said, surely it depends on the story. What I think is a much more serious problem is the sudden unannounced switch in POV. I have read many (on a whole range of Web sites) where a 1st Person POV switches to 3rd Person and back again within the same paragraph - it makes it more difficult for the reader to involve themselves in the action if they're not too sure who they are supposed to be.

BTW - My thanks to the site operators here, the New Posting page is my first port of call when logging on. I have been in correspondence with one of the authors here to exchange a few ideas and stories - I have been looking for an alternative 'home' since Mr Double went pedo. Unfortunately, while I have no wish to be associated with pre-teen sex stories, Literotica's strict Over 18 policy on characters rules me out. Here in the UK, the Age of Consent is 16 years and though the courts would come down very heavily on any adult having sex with a 14 -15 year old, there is an unwritten acceptance that 14 and 15 year olds will have sex. It is discouraged, of course, but participants won't be put away for life if caught. My stories include such teenage activities (include - that doesn't mean 'totally'). Having said that, I fully understand the reasons for the Over 18 policy and applaud the administrators for sticking to their guns - it's a pity that a few other WebMasters can't see the problem of being associated with kiddie porn.

 

[Guest]

The voice is all important for me in erotica. And I prefer first person, because then the storyteller assumes the voice of the character (or actually is both character and narrator.)

Second and third persons lose me, usually. For that to work, you need a damn good prose style, which few erotic writers have. But when you write in the first person, your grammar errors, misspellings, lack of unique and interesting descriptors, or general amateur quality of the writing, are all forgivable because I know I'm getting your story in an authentic voice, with all your normal narrative mistakes.

Whereas a writer who uses he/she/they (who would ever use “you”?) must place him/her self as the outside narrator; they're describing an event happening to someone else, and that makes the reader twice removed from the story.

The stories I pass on immediately are those where the voice sounds like somebody writing a memo, not erotica. I like the stories that delve into the nasty side of the psyche to tell the story.

 

[Jenne64]

Hi everyone,
I'm new here and was about to submit a threesome story that I recenly wrote. Now i'm not so sure! I always write in the first person. It's my style and i find it works for me and the proof readers that help me out!( yes they are male-)). I write for myself first and foremost and enjoy stories in the first person but have read some third person that have really turned me on the past to.
I think it's up to the reader to determine in the end some prefer it some don't as reflected in the comments on this board. Personally I have the sort of imagination that allows me to almost become that person if a story is well written.
So " To submit or not to submit?" that is the question.
Jenne64

 

[Guest]

Go for it Jenne64, see what happens.

 

[Laurel]

I think what Miranda was objecting to wasn't ALL first person stories, but the kind that go something like,"You're alone. You feel soft touches on your skin as I brush my hands over your DD breasts..." - stuff that sounds like it's cut and paste from a cybersex session. Not that I think that's bad - I just think that's what Miranda's talking about.

I personally like first person stories that are done well. (Well, I like all stories that are done well...hehe). Like where the author's come across as a friend telling you a story... Many authors here do this very effectively. So, go girl! If it works, it works!

 

[Bob Peale]

Jenne64,

Don't you dare back out!

You need to keep a couple of things in mind:

1. The first person debate really just presents someone's opinion; it's not gospel.

2. Something compelled you to right the story. I speak from experience...it's a huge rush to know that someone read it, and better yet, that someone enjoyed it!

I have written both types of stories; those that were narrated in the first person, and those that were presented, in a more traditional storytelling style. I can honestly say that the responses have been equally positive for both.

My only recommendation would be to read a lot of stories and identify what you liked and didn't like about them. Then, try to emulate them.

And don't be afraid of the feedback; I've found value in 99.9% of it, whether it was positive or negative. Occasionally I get a letter from a moron, but usually I take issue with the comments because it's not particularly helpful (you suck vs. you suck because it was impossible to follow the story line with all the plot twists).

Hope this helps

Bob

 

[Guest]

Jenne64

Bob Peale is absolutely right - carry on writing and thank goodness you're not too vain to have a proof-reader - all story sites should insist that all their writers have one! (Totally impractical, I know!)

On the general debate on 1st Person v 3rd Person POV, whilst the 1st Person gets the reader directly involved in the action, its biggest drawback, especially for the novice, is when they come to the part where they have either (a) have to describe action (or worse, dialogue) which the narrator has not personally witnessed or (b) try to describe another person's thoughts in the course of the action. It's at that point that credibility walks over to the window...
I don't think it's a matter of opinion whether 1st or 3rd Person is better, period, but whether the writer uses it properly. Can anyone recall seeing those old Bogart private eye films? They were very successful and were told in the 1st Person.

Laurel - I think what you're referring to are the rare 2nd person stories. Gender is a real problem with these. While all of us, in everyday life, quite happily listen to a member of the opposite sex relate happenings from their point of view (1st Person)(married men will know what I mean! Only joking..) and we take their gender into account when we listen, with the 2nd person, you the reader are the subject of the story. As a male reader, I'm not too keen on some male writer getting fresh with me, if you see what I mean.

 

[Jenne64]

Hi agian everyone.
Thanks for the responses. I took the plunge today and sumbitted my story "A friend in need". Now I'm worried that it's too tame for this site LOL. I'll just have to wait and see what reactions if any I get.
Thanks again
Jenne64

 

[Guest]

I have recently submitted some stories (not posted yet).

As for POV... it depends on my audience.

I wrote a story for a friend/lover and so I felt that writing it in 1st person was applicable in that case. I wanted him to be able to visualize him as the main male character and me as the female one.

I think I have only written that one in that particular POV.

And Jennie, I'm afraid I'm gonna be too 'vanilla' for some of this crowd too!

K

 

[Anothername_9]

There is an intimacy in the so-called "rare" 2nd person story which can almost bring such a tale into the realm of poetry, or heightened language at least. This can be an asset when an orgasmic experience is being described.

When a story is 'told' to someone ("You turn towards me and I can see the heaving of your chest as your breathing quickly deepens...."), and the writer never enters the other person's thoughts or viewpoint the story styas believable and full of justifiable details. It is the 2nd person story which is told from the writer's viewpoint only. Whatever the writer comments upon can only be those things which he/she can experience directly, or can surmise.

As far as the gender issue goes, I have written pieces which are directed towards/written for women, but I seem to be pretty interested in the goings-on myself. I believe that the combination of commenting upon the other person as seen through your own eyes, combined with the revealing of one's own feelings and desires make for a good two-way push and pull.

I should have a short piece posted here soon which was actually written in this fashion. Maybe some folks would want to comment on it when it is available for reading.

Good discussion here.

 

[Tuxman]

This is an interesting discussion. I typically write in first person, but I have at least one that I know of in 2nd person. I would be intersted in some opinions on that.

For the gentleman who would prefer that I not get a fetish with him viz a viz my 2nd person, I can relate to your POV!

I have aptly titled it with a female's name so that the reader would know the context ahead of time.

But my story does not demand the reader BE the subject, as I am describing it from the first person TO the 2nd person, so both POV are apparent. (As if recounting to that person what had previously transpired.)

I usually write in 1st for the same reasons as listed above by the others.

Good topic! Good responses!!

Rock on!

TM

 

[Mike Tauron]

Of course one problem that's sometimes seen is stories told in the first person ("I did this...I did that...")that don't spell out what sex the person telling the story is. It can be confusing trying to work out if the narrator is a red-blooded heterosexual or a lesbian when he/she starts getting worked up about the beautiful girl next door!
Then again, I have read one magazine story where the sex of the narrator was the point of the story and it was cleverly concealed until the last line of the last paragraph.
What I don't like are Second Person ("You stand under the shower...."), which I find just too distracting.

 

[XXplorher]

Read one on an old board once - the story revolved around this woman playing with herself in a taxi cab. Sexual tension had built up prior to her entering the cab, and she just couldn't help herself. Being 'watched' added to her lust, and the narrator made mention of the 'taxi driver' watching, eyes, etc.
She didn't wait till the end, but after some heavy solo petting in the rear of the cab, the writer revealed it was a female taxi driver. And they went at it.
THAT was awesome. She cleverly disguised the sex of the taxi driver, and it was most definitely a surprise. A great story from a talented writer.

I have to admitt, I thieved that idea, for a brief section of Sorry Wrong Number.

 

[Guest]

Laural was exactly right. Not ALL first person's bother me but the ones that begin with that "you're alone, you're so sexy..." just don't do it for me at ALL. And it is just my opinion! In fact, it was just something to throw out there and discuss... not do try to discourage other people from using first person POV! So please don't be... It can be used well, if used carefully. And as for the other POVs losing the reader... I totally disagree. Someone made the point that it was a voyeristic quality in erotica so first person was needed... How untrue! To me, it would seem that by say something like this: "The couple grew closer together, their bodies pressing against one anothers, desperatly needing each other." Is much more voyerisitc than: "And as we grew closer together I could tell that he needed me more." To me, that's just like a friend telling me about her hot night with her lover... (Not that I'm complaining, that can get pretty hot.) But, the other is more like I'M the one WATCHING not just HEARING about it. But.. That's just me! Until next time...

 

[Sabrina]

Yes, I agree with Miranda, the ones in
second personare really annoying. Well the ones I have read so far. Many are badly written and so it's hard to put oneself into the story. Hopefully not all are like that, though.

 

[XXplorher]

I think what people are attempting to do with the 1st person perspective – is direct the story at the reader. As a writer, that’s MY interest. I notice that the vast majority of stories are written form the perspective of the author enjoying the pleasure. To me, that’s a bit selfish. “Let me tell you about this experience that got me off” etc.. I’d rather tell you about something that may get YOU off. Although you have to tell it in a way that describes the sensations and feelings, I try to separate myself from it – and make it YOURS. And I’ve approached that from many angles.
From reactions, that seems to be appreciated.
First person fails when it’s mechanical. ‘I’m doing this, I’m doing that, then I do this’. When it’s done with feeling, and not tactless - I think it works. Make the reader become the participant. Are the readers here to read what’s happening to someone else while they watch? Strictly voyeur? Or are they here to become one of the characters? I prefer to put them in the story – and I think 1st person can be used effectively in that manner.

Don’t know that I’m staunchly defending first person, and I think I’ve only used it once myself, in the manner that was presented. However, I am saying – I wouldn’t rule it out if you can really feel it in your approach.

 

[sweetnpetite]

first person- what do you think?

 

[brightlyiburn]

Am I the only one who's kinda curious as to this rash of guest posting in these threads?

 

[Shadowskill Knight]

Am I the only one who's kinda curious as to this rash of guest posting in these threads?

The posts were from 1999, so one could assume that back then there were less actually members and more guests on Lit.

However, since I'm a newbie and this is such an old thread so my guess might might be absolutely wrong.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Am I the only one who's kinda curious as to this rash of guest posting in these threads?

*cackles*

Brightly, dearest, my estimate of your wit has reached notable levels. Wonderful.

Hmmm. I tend to write a great deal in the first person. However, I will defend that partly by genre - the two letters and the diary would be hard to imagine anyway else - and partly with my editor's words on the latest (still in draft) - "You know, if this was told from anyone else's point of view, it would be unreadable." Sometimes it's the right choice.

Shanglan

 

[moonlight elf]

*cackles*

Brightly, dearest, my estimate of your wit has reached notable levels. Wonderful.

Hmmm. I tend to write a great deal in the first person. However, I will defend that partly by genre - the two letters and the diary would be hard to imagine anyway else - and partly with my editor's words on the latest (still in draft) - "You know, if this was told from anyone else's point of view, it would be unreadable." Sometimes it's the right choice.

Shanglan

I write alot in the first person as well. And like you they are letters or diary entries. Do favour the third person for stories.

Moonlight

P.S. *joining you in you cakling*
and welcome shadow to the AH.