AngelGabriel
Virgin
- Joined
- Jan 4, 2006
- Posts
- 1
I'm brand new here, and this is my first attempt at writing something sexually related. It's meant more to be funny that titillating, but I would love to know what you think.
Penis - the cosmic joke?
While staring at a blank document in word, waiting for it to magically turn into a treatment, my mind wandered as it often does, onto sex.
Am I depraved, addicted, crazed sex fiend? Probably. With the right person, it is the most fun you can have while only breaking laws no one cares about.
Anyhow, the whole point of this particular rambling is that I have come to the conclusion that a penis suggests the existence of a higher being. And one with a wicked sense of humor to boot.
Firstly, this has to be the silliest looking biological contraption ever conceived (of course, pun intended - I'm just that lame). A length of HVAC piping mated somewhat unsuccessfully with a mushroom, then decided to toddle off and have relations with an oversized tapioca pudding that had been left out all afternoon, thus gaining a thin layer of skin.
Now, not only is this silly item positioned front and center, prime for ridicule - it is made intensely sensitive and easily embarrassed. To add further insult, this positioning places the poor little thing right between two pistons of locomotion to be jostled about every time the creature to which it is attached feels the need to move. Even worse, the most sensitive part of this whole arrangement is aligned in such a manner that care must be taken even when in repose. (You've never lived until you've seen some poor slob sit on his balls.)
Most other carbon-based life forms are in possession of a retractable unit, which sensibly appears only when needed, and then retreats until summoned again. Not so with humans. Here, the apparatus is left swinging in the breeze at all times to be poked, prodded, squished, and otherwise humiliated at a moment's notice. Arguably, it's amazing that we are this prolific considering all of the daily dangers such as zippers that it meets.
Penis - the cosmic joke?
While staring at a blank document in word, waiting for it to magically turn into a treatment, my mind wandered as it often does, onto sex.
Am I depraved, addicted, crazed sex fiend? Probably. With the right person, it is the most fun you can have while only breaking laws no one cares about.
Anyhow, the whole point of this particular rambling is that I have come to the conclusion that a penis suggests the existence of a higher being. And one with a wicked sense of humor to boot.
Firstly, this has to be the silliest looking biological contraption ever conceived (of course, pun intended - I'm just that lame). A length of HVAC piping mated somewhat unsuccessfully with a mushroom, then decided to toddle off and have relations with an oversized tapioca pudding that had been left out all afternoon, thus gaining a thin layer of skin.
Now, not only is this silly item positioned front and center, prime for ridicule - it is made intensely sensitive and easily embarrassed. To add further insult, this positioning places the poor little thing right between two pistons of locomotion to be jostled about every time the creature to which it is attached feels the need to move. Even worse, the most sensitive part of this whole arrangement is aligned in such a manner that care must be taken even when in repose. (You've never lived until you've seen some poor slob sit on his balls.)
Most other carbon-based life forms are in possession of a retractable unit, which sensibly appears only when needed, and then retreats until summoned again. Not so with humans. Here, the apparatus is left swinging in the breeze at all times to be poked, prodded, squished, and otherwise humiliated at a moment's notice. Arguably, it's amazing that we are this prolific considering all of the daily dangers such as zippers that it meets.
