First date semi disasters

[Debbie]

Poor lady. The things we do to try and make a good first impression.

I do think Mr smith is a decent bloke.


http://www.newshub.co.nz/home/world...after-trying-to-retrieve-unflushable-poo.html

I've had first date jitters and wanting to make a good impression.


I've even eaten stuff that makes me gag. Like eating cold custard as a dessert on a first date.

With himindoors on our first date we went to the movies and I needed to pee but didn't want to say it aloud.

Till I started to jiggle and he said it for me.

The things we do.

 

[Froya]

I'm rather fond of Mr. Smith.

 

[hsnh]

You're too late, Debbie. BB was way ahead of you.

My worst scenario happened on a 12 hours flight, after they served us beans caserolle for lunch.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

Open the tank, stick your hand in there and grab the flapper valve and flush the son-of-a-bitch.


It's really not all that difficult.


But at least she had the decency to think in terms of flushing/poo disposal.


She should have shoved it down the tub drain a few bits at a time while the water was running. Makes much more sense than tossing it on some poor passerby's head.

 

[hsnh]

I hate to be Debbie Downer. But while the story is amusing, how did it get out?
Either the guy made it public so he's a total dick, or the firefighters are in for a lawsuit for breaching confidential matters.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I hate to be Debbie Downer. But while the story is amusing, how did it get out?
Either the guy made it public so he's a total dick, or the firefighters are in for a lawsuit for breaching confidential matters.

It says in the article that he told the reporter.

 

[Froya]

It says in the article that he told the reporter.

Perhaps because they approached him and asked?


Police and fire calls may be a matter of public record there. Funny story like that would get attention.

 

[MelissaBaby]

I don't have a lot of regard for a gymnast who can't throw shit out a window without getting stuck.

 

[hsnh]

You're too late, Debbie. BB was way ahead of you.

My worst scenario happened on a 12 hours flight, after they served us beans caserolle for lunch.

We were on a flight to US, the guy was originally from South Africa and so cute! We were flirting right up till lunch. He turned cold after that.

 

[MelissaBaby]

We were on a flight to US, the guy was originally from South Africa and so cute! We were flirting right up till lunch. He turned cold after that.

And you're blaming the beans?

 

[hsnh]

And you're blaming the beans?

What about you, missy? You must have some horror stories too.
Btw - According to experts, we all fart at least 20 times a day.

 

[MelissaBaby]

What about you, missy? You must have some horror stories too.
Btw - According to experts, we all fart at least 20 times a day.

My dating horror stories are not conducive to light hearted banter.

I will say, however, that men who object to women farting should not expect buttsex from them.

 

[Debbie]

I don't have a lot of regard for a gymnast who can't throw shit out a window without getting stuck.

Now now there's no need to be inflexible.

This story would be the perfect tale to tell at a party as an ice breaker with a bunch of strangers.

We all have to poo.

If the couple are still together at least they know probably one of the worst things possible when you're dating is getting a case of the farts and trying to hold it in. Fly be free my pretty little puff of gaseous flatulance. He's seen her in a very embarrassing situation and still tried to make the best of the mess

 

[MelissaBaby]

Now now there's no need to be inflexible.

This story would be the perfect tale to tell at a party as an ice breaker with a bunch of strangers.

We all have to poo.

If the couple are still together at least they know probably one of the worst things possible when you're dating is getting a case of the farts and trying to hold it in. Fly be free my pretty little puff of gaseous flatulance. He's seen her in a very embarrassing situation and still tried to make the best of the mess

That's a good way to look at it. But shit happens.

 

[Froya]

I don't have a lot of regard for a gymnast who can't throw shit out a window without getting stuck.

It took me a minute to get a video reel of this scenario in my head. Seems like it should be in a Ben Stiller movie.

 

[jezzilee]

I can't think of one bad first date lol

 

[Debbie]

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/news/article.cfm?c_id=6&objectid=11918007

I feel sorry for her. Once something goes on the net... it just keeps on giving.

 

[Emerson40]

Oh, after a while, nobody will give a shit.

It'll be "On to the next bit of funny news".

 

[hsnh]

Hey, Debbie. Those two are helping put NZ on the map, but not in the best way.
Remember the workmates from Wellington who decided to have an after - hours trist, without realising that the. gave an X-ray spectacle to the pub next door?

Pitty. Only the idiots get advertised by massmedia, when in fact NZ is a magical mistical place, and it's inhabitants are special and outstanding too.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Hey, Debbie. Those two are helping put NZ on the map, but not in the best way.
Remember the workmates from Wellington who decided to have an after - hours trist, without realising that the. gave an X-ray spectacle to the pub next door?

Pitty. Only the idiots get advertised by massmedia, when in fact NZ is a magical mistical place, and it's inhabitants are special and outstanding too.

I'll be honest. Here is what I know about New Zealand:

1. Kiwi birds
2. Native tattoos popular among white people in America
3. Lord of the rings
4. Poop tosser

 

[honeypot104]

Things I know about New Zealand
1. Bristol isn't in New Zealand
2. New Zealand doesn't use GBP as it's currency
3. New Zealand media report key world events (clearly).

 

[hsnh]

I'll be honest. Here is what I know about New Zealand:

1. Kiwi birds
2. Native tattoos popular among white people in America
3. Lord of the rings
4. Poop tosser

I emigrated there many years ago.
I was unfortunate to land a job - as a house surgeon - in Invercargill. I was freshly off the boat and didn't know the system, and I encountered a lot of xenophobic attitudes.
In saying that, my subsequent experiences -in Auckland in particular- were excellent. Quite a few people went through thick and thin to stand up for me, even tho they derived no advantage from that.
I will always think highly of and hold a special place in my heart for kiwis.

 

[MacJerkus]

I emigrated there many years ago.
I was unfortunate to land a job - as a house surgeon - in Invercargill. I was freshly off the boat and didn't know the system, and I encountered a lot of xenophobic attitudes.
In saying that, my subsequent experiences -in Auckland in particular- were excellent. Quite a few people went through thick and thin to stand up for me, even tho they derived no advantage from that.
I will always think highly of and hold a special place in my heart for kiwis.

Hashtag says he's a surgeon!

 

[SelfTawt]

A true gentleman would have:
A:Made sure his shitter was capable of managing a 'double flusher' before inviting a date into the house.
B: Ensured that his gymnast trap was set up correctly so no poo was needed for the trap to work.
C: Kept his mouth shut about the entire incident and used it to blackmail said gymnast for regular and deviant sex.

Pfft Fucking amateurs!... And these are the numpties that are doing dissertations these days.(theres heaps of easier ways to trap gymnasts).

 

[hsnh]

Hashtag says he's a surgeon!

House surgeon = junior doctor in the UK and Commonwealth Countries, genius.