First 3some experiences

[banes27]

Ok, so me and my fiancee have talked about threesomes and we both want one (MFM or FFM, whichever really, both bi so don't mind too much) and we think we've read enough of the advice online and other places to actually go out and try. One of our major problems, though, actually relates to the threesome itself, and being the kind of people we are we naturally started to overthink it. So, our question is, to anyone who's been part of an MFM or FFM threesome at some point in their lives, have you ever had any negative experiences? Obviously there's the possibility of jealousy, damage to the relationship or even the end of the relationship, but we mean like, did (any of) the guy(s) cum too soon through over-excitement? Did the woman feel emotionally/physically uncomfortable? Did anyone feel left out of the whole thing? That is, did any of you have problems or disappointments with the actual threesome itself?

(Like I said, we over think things )

 

[silverwhisper]

banes27 quoth:
so, our question is, to anyone who's been part of an MFM or FFM threesome at some point in their lives, have you ever had any negative experiences? obviously there's the possibility of jealousy, damage to the relationship or even the end of the relationship, but we mean like, did (any of) the guy(s) cum too soon through over-excitement? did the woman feel emotionally/physically uncomfortable? did anyone feel left out of the whole thing? that is, did any of you have problems or disappointments with the actual threesome itself?

OK, good to see that you're already aware of the relationship threats that could crop up.

to answer your question, no. the sex in the two in which i was involved was not just good but spectacular. however, my results may not be typical.

ed

 

[banes27]

OK, good to see that you're already aware of the relationship threats that could crop up.

to answer your question, no. the sex in the two in which i was involved was not just good but spectacular. however, my results may not be typical.

ed

That's what we're thinking. Despite really only having heard good things about the actual threesome itself, we can't help but thinking that them always being good/spectacualr is too good to be true since obviously even sex with one person can be terrible if not worse.

 

[silverwhisper]

heh...i can certainly understand that. :>

my first one was a MFM that did run afoul of the relationship traps. it isn't a particularly fun part of my past, but the sex in it was always good.

here's the thing, though: most people who might entertain the question (threesome, Y/N?) are probably cognizant of the potential emotional impact--a piece of advice i tend to give to people contemplating a three(or more)some is to make sure you want to hear your partner calling out someone else's name.

but the fact is that you've probably already gameplanned in some way certain poses, maybe even fantasized about it during your sex. that right there probably alleviates a lot of the problem when you're with someone the first time: not knowing what to do next.

IMX, in a threesome, that's always flowed very organically. :>

ed

 

[infinity706]

Well, I've never techincally had a threesome, but I've had bigger numbers. I've never really had one that I didn't enjoy, but I think everyone here knows I like sex a lot. The only problem I've ever had was the condom issue that comes up quite frequently.

 

[GrnEyedGrl]

Speaking of the act specifically, we had the exact opposite problem you described. Ours was actually a foursome (in fact, two separate ones) and while I had no issues cumming, hubby just could not get off. He said later that it was kind of like performance anxiety. So much pressure and he overthought it and couldn't relax. Of course, they were both mind blowing and super enjoyable, but that was our only hang up.

Good luck!!! And by all means, just have fun. Sex doesn't have to be emotional. It is possible for it to just be fun.

 

[banes27]

Speaking of the act specifically, we had the exact opposite problem you described. Ours was actually a foursome (in fact, two separate ones) and while I had no issues cumming, hubby just could not get off. He said later that it was kind of like performance anxiety. So much pressure and he overthought it and couldn't relax. Of course, they were both mind blowing and super enjoyable, but that was our only hang up.

Good luck!!! And by all means, just have fun. Sex doesn't have to be emotional. It is possible for it to just be fun.

Huh, never thought about not cumming at all

Yeah, we're not looking for anything emotional in the threesome, just some good old fucking fun (On the note of foursomes and moresomes, we've actually discussed them as well, but don't want to get to ahead of ourselves)

 

[SophieUK]

Well....

yes there have been issues, but overall outweighed by the fun...

you have to talk a lot up front to get over the jealousy thing..although we still had a (minor) problem (when FMF) when us girls got on a bit 'too well' for hubby's liking.. he felt left out.. but we smoothed it over..
of course, the condom thing comes up (as it should do) but if you talk this through its ok... we did have some awkward moments early on (I like cum, but hubby was worried..).. one guy broke the ice by ripping it off part way through and hubby came in for seconds anyway!!
I still can't get my bf to suck cock (much as I'd like him to) but that's an ongoing discussion

enjoy

 

[subish2009]

I've had very mixed results.

MFM has always worked out well for me. I've never had jealousy issues there because in some, it wasn't bringing in a third, it was three singles. In the ones that involved my husband, we were a couple bringing in a third, but it was always very clear who was in charge (husband) and the third was very respectful of that.

All the FMFs I've had have been very blah, but I'm not bi, so there you go.

I almost think foursomes are easier because you can kind of start out as two couples in the same room and let the cross-contact flow, or not, naturally.

The only ways to mess up groups, I think, apart from the obvious jealousy issues, is to try to force things. The chemistry needs to just be there, and you have to realize that if it's not, you may just be hanging out and sharing some laughs that night rather than it all turning porn.

 

[cebalrai]

The only threesomes I've been in have been FMF and I wasn't in a relationship with either girl. I think that's the easy route to go since jealously is less likely to play a part. Although I tried to enter a relationshipo with one of the girls a few months later and got shot down

 

[bronzeage]

Ok, so me and my fiancee have talked about threesomes and we both want one (MFM or FFM, whichever really, both bi so don't mind too much) and we think we've read enough of the advice online and other places to actually go out and try. One of our major problems, though, actually relates to the threesome itself, and being the kind of people we are we naturally started to overthink it. So, our question is, to anyone who's been part of an MFM or FFM threesome at some point in their lives, have you ever had any negative experiences? Obviously there's the possibility of jealousy, damage to the relationship or even the end of the relationship, but we mean like, did (any of) the guy(s) cum too soon through over-excitement? Did the woman feel emotionally/physically uncomfortable? Did anyone feel left out of the whole thing? That is, did any of you have problems or disappointments with the actual threesome itself?

(Like I said, we over think things )

Every threesome is a couple plus one. One person of the three has to play the host or hostess. This goes a long way to make everyone comfortable.

That said, threesomes should be with fuckbuddies, where there is no great emotional commitment. Adding a third person to a LTR is always a risk.

Many times, the third person wants in because they have strong desire for one of the couple and will have sex with both, just to be close.

I was never disappointed with the actual threesome, but terrible things happened later.

 

[duright]

We have had many mfm and 2 mfmf. They were all with good friends. It was the most enjoyable sex I have experienced. My wife enjoyed most of them but not all. We attempted a fmf situation but it did not go well so did not try another. There was no damage to our relationship through any of them.

 

[NightL]

Had a few fmf and mfm (& 4somes) when I was young... the pure lust shared by all was amazing.

In more recent years there have been a few again.
Disappointments: in a mfm the other male did not have the stamina and I was disappointed for my partner. She wanted it hard, fast and continuous.

4some a couple of years back... we were both disappointed by the other couple (though I doubt they were disappointed by us)... The girls were close, but now contact has drifted off and we wonder if that evening was the cause. If it was, I would have preferred the 4some had not occurred. The prior flirting was fun but losing the contact has been sad for my partner.

We had a close girlfriend for many years... we never had a threesome, though close many times... lots of massages, flirting and fun... the ongoing tease was
absolutely gorgeous. I never did work out who she was playing up to the most...

We have never planned or organised... always just the spur of the moment... fun if it happens, and I will still be smiling from the memories if it never happens again.

 

[dave110256]

1st time

We just had our first threesome last week and loved it. The only disappointment for my wife was that the guy was VERY small. But, there were no jealousy issues and all 3 of us were involved at all times.
I absolutely loved watching her sucking and fucking another man. She was immediately turned on as we were both sucking her tits at the same time as she was stroking both of us. She said she most enjoyed being the center of attention and feeling very sexy with both of us taking turns with her.,
We're already looking for another guy to join us!

 

[seemoreme]

sex is meant not for fun its all about making love maybe there's a possiblity you may have a weekness in relationship after a threesome.

 

[dave110256]

sex is meant not for fun its all about making love maybe there's a possiblity you may have a weekness in relationship after a threesome.

That's your opinion.......personaly I think you're full of shit.

 

[NightL]

sex is meant not for fun its all about making love

So why are you here at Literotica?

 

[banes27]

sex is meant not for fun its all about making love maybe there's a possiblity you may have a weekness in relationship after a threesome.

By this logic a couple seeking out or desiring a threesome would already have a weak relationship...

Sex, IMO, fulfils three major function:

1) Procreation, obviously, since that's basically the main point of sex from a purely biological, species-propagating standpoint.

2) Extension of intimacy within a relationship through a physically and mentally pleasurable means. That is to say, sex without procreation within a relationship brings the couple together but is also...

3) FUN! Regardless of the above 2 "functions" of sex, sex is over-ridingly a fun and pleasurable experience and can in fact be devoid of any actual feelings of intimacy even within a relationship. One day I might "make love" to my fiancee but the next day I might "fuck" her. In the first case sex arose out of passion, love and intimate desire while in the second it arose out of a excitement, lust and sexual desire.

A couple seeking out a threesome could have a perfectly stable emotional relationship before and even after the threesome as long as they have the right state of mind before, during and after, e.g. lack of excessive doubt, jealousy, detachment, etc. There is obviously the possibility for post-threesome weakness within the relationship but since when was sex just about love-making, even within a loving and established couple.

 

[infinity706]

Considering I've had triple digits worth of one time fucks, I'd say sex is quite nice even when it's just for fun. I do enjoy the making love type, too, though. It might surprise a couple people, but I do like the whole cuddling thing as well.

 

[In Anticipation]

yes there have been issues, but overall outweighed by the fun...

you have to talk a lot up front to get over the jealousy thing..although we still had a (minor) problem (when FMF) when us girls got on a bit 'too well' for hubby's liking.. he felt left out.. but we smoothed it over..
of course, the condom thing comes up (as it should do) but if you talk this through its ok... we did have some awkward moments early on (I like cum, but hubby was worried..).. one guy broke the ice by ripping it off part way through and hubby came in for seconds anyway!!
I still can't get my bf to suck cock (much as I'd like him to) but that's an ongoing discussion

enjoy

I'd be interested in sucking his, that's my objective for a threesome anyway, the changed dynamic, still on my to-do list unfortunately.

 

[horsie_gurl]

"Obviously there's the possibility of jealousy, damage to the relationship or even the end of the relationship, but we mean like, did (any of) the guy(s) cum too soon through over-excitement? Did the woman feel emotionally/physically uncomfortable? Did anyone feel left out of the whole thing? That is, did any of you have problems or disappointments with the actual threesome itself?"

Well I had one FMF Threesome. I was the third wheel in the relationship. There was only a little jealousy on the girls part, but it was the circumstances. They have a long distance relationships, they had both wanted a threesome for a while and somehow him and i started talking and it was agreed I would be the person. She was all for it, but got worried because I live in the same city as him during holidays and she didn't.

Same problem as one other person mentioned. He didn't cum, at all I don't think. Problem was the two of us girls were so aroused. Everytime I came i had to get off cause I get too sensitive and then he didn't get the chance to cum. Even at the end we were both working on him and he didn't get off, but reported that it was the most amazing sex he's ever had.

At first I was nervous, because she was my first female experience. I felt a little left out because they knew what they liked in sex, and I was the newcomer, but she definitely made sure I was in on the action.

I can't really say anything negative came out of it. She just had to learn to trust me in the same city as her fiance, and she and I are great friends now.

 

[banes27]

Well, we're currently in line for our first inter-couple foursome with a friend of mine and his current gf this weekend. We're meeting up tonight to actually meet the gf so we can all be sure we find each other physically and mentally attractive enough to go ahead with it on the premise of attraction and then we're just going to discuss likes, dislikes, "do", "don't"s, etc. to see if that adds up and then we're just going to spend the evening tonight together to get a better feel for each other. We're probably going to do that again maybe once or twice before getting together Saturday night for a few drinks to loosen us all up. That's actually as far as the plan goes though. If nothing happens Saturday night, like we're just not feeling it, then nothing happens, so no pressure to go through with it which we think helps a bit, gets us a bit more relaxed.

Hopefully though it should go ahead into a foursome and even if the gf isn't up for it my friend has actually said he'll go along with it on his own without his gf (open relationship) so even if a foursome's out of the question a threesome's still a possibility.

Personally I trust myself, my fiancee and my friend enough that beyond sexual disappointment I've really got no worries about anything so hopefully it should just be some sex and some fun

Oh, and thanks for the replies everyone, they really helped me and my fiancee discuss this a bit more. We went through the replies after my friend asked us (it's weird actually, we didn't ask him, he asked us ) and it did help us come to our conclusion

 

[banes27]

Well... it almost went ahead as planned We went out on Firday night just for a few drinks, but only with my friend since his gf had to go prepare for a meeting at work the next day. After the drinks we came back to our flat (yay for privacy of living in your own place and not with 6 other students! ) and, as always, had a few more drinks Eventually my fiancee basically said "I'd kind of like both of you really", or something along those lines, so she came and sat between me and my friend. We started kissing her, undressing her, going down on her and it eventually turned into an oral threesome with her giving him a blowjob while I licked and fingered her and vice versa. Didn't lead to sex, though, which given how much we'd drank was probably a good idea lol

Somthing which seems to have come out of it or is at least something which has come up since then independently, is my fiancee's managed to take more of my cock in her mouth without gagging. Right now she's managed to get the tip to touch the back of her mouth, which was quite a surprise I must say

 

[NightL]

"Didn't lead to sex, though..." wonder where I have heard that before? You engaged in sexual activity... you had sex... you just didn't fuck.

 

[banes27]

"Didn't lead to sex, though..." wonder where I have heard that before? You engaged in sexual activity... you had sex... you just didn't fuck.

Haha, good point... although last night it did go as far as fucking I fucked his gf... who looks surprisingly similar to my fiancee and has a very similar personality... yeah... and he fucked my fiancee