Finger play

[LargoKitt]

Deep research has led me to the conclusion that the vast majority of people with ovaries excite themselves by their own particular drumbeat on Lady Clitoris. However, alone or with a partner there sometimes seems to be a need for finger penetration. I know men can be clumsy at this. So, lady writers, if the damsel is diddling herself or boldly telling a partner how she likes her inside massage, what are some of the sensations she is going for? Rubbing the magic g-spot is a cliché, but it has its adherents. How long does she/he/it keep up that 'come hither' stroke to get you 'there'? Where is there?

 

[EmilyMiller]

Strange to say, different women like different things. Some cishet men enjoy a penetrating finger from their partner, others don’t. Some women prefer a focus on the clitoris (fingering being a penis substitute, which men assume we need) while others love one or more finger being slipped into them by either a male or female partner.

Again, studies show that the G spot is not a distinct organ present in all women. Instead, the nerve bundles in that area have some natural variation of distribution, with some women having a preponderance of them close to their front vaginal wall. But others don’t. As an aside, the same variation is one reason why woman A loves anal (the sensation of it, not the psychological aspects) and it does nothing for woman B.

So, there is no one size fits all rule.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Again, studies shows that the G spot is not a distinct organ present in all women. Instead, the nerve bundles in that area have some natural variation of distribution, with some women having a preponderance of them close to their front vaginal wall. But others don’t. As an aside, the same variation is one reason why woman A loves anal (the sensation of it, not the psychological aspects) and it does nothing for woman B.

Yeah, I need anal penetration, or a big fat knuckle in the right place for g-spot stimulation.

It's much easier to have my clit played with while something wide goes in and out.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I’ve posted this 3D rendering of the entire clitoris before. It’s actual size. There is more than one way to stimulate it.

 

[crookedletter]

Well. This has been a surprisingly educational thread, so far.

 

[LargoKitt]

Strange to say, different women like different things. Some cishet men enjoy a penetrating finger from their partner, others don’t. Some women prefer a focus on the clitoris (fingering being a penis substitute, which men assume we need) while others love one or more finger being slipped into them by either a male or female partner.

Again, studies shows that the G spot is not a distinct organ present in all women. Instead, the nerve bundles in that area have some natural variation of distribution, with some women having a preponderance of them close to their front vaginal wall. But others don’t. As an aside, the same variation is one reason why woman A loves anal (the sensation of it, not the psychological aspects) and it does nothing for woman B.

So, there is no one size fits all rule.

One does not assume. But in the interest of fictional verisimilitude the author would like to know what a particular woman likes about a particular aspect of digital dancing so as to depict the feelings of the protagonista with fidelity.

 

[LargoKitt]

I’ve posted this 3D rendering of the entire clitoris before. It’s actual size. There is more than one way to stimulate it.

View attachment 2591132

Okay, so, suppose there was this fictional character...let's call her...Emilia. What part of that lovely aparatus does she enjoy getting stroked, and it what manner? It's fascinating how very *particular* a lady's routine needs to be. Curiously, regarding manual manipulation, I haven't seen much from men in the way of, "I just need her thumb to keep flicking my frenulum about twenty times and then a quick squeeze..."

 

[LargoKitt]

Yeah, I need anal penetration, or a big fat knuckle in the right place for g-spot stimulation.

It's much easier to have my clit played with while something wide goes in and out.

Yep, a curious phenom that a person who says, "Keep your effing hands off my a.h." can really need a strong push a the back door just at the peak of 'here we go'.

 

[NuclearFairy]

Yep, a curious phenom that a person who says, "Keep your effing hands off my a.h." can really need a strong push a the back door just at the peak of 'here we go'.

Even for a person like that, proper care and attention needs to be paid because that sphincter is not designed for incoming traffic.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Okay, so, suppose there was this fictional character...let's call her...Emilia. What part of that lovely aparatus does she enjoy getting stroked, and it what manner? It's fascinating how very *particular* a lady's routine needs to be. Curiously, regarding manual manipulation, I haven't seen much from men in the way of, "I just need her thumb to keep flicking my frenulum about twenty times and then a quick squeeze..."

That feels a little like a request for sexy talk, which I don’t do here anymore (and haven’t for years).

 

[Booboobear84]

Strange to say, different women like different things. Some cishet men enjoy a penetrating finger from their partner, others don’t. Some women prefer a focus on the clitoris (fingering being a penis substitute, which men assume we need) while others love one or more finger being slipped into them by either a male or female partner.

Again, studies shows that the G spot is not a distinct organ present in all women. Instead, the nerve bundles in that area have some natural variation of distribution, with some women having a preponderance of them close to their front vaginal wall. But others don’t. As an aside, the same variation is one reason why woman A loves anal (the sensation of it, not the psychological aspects) and it does nothing for woman B.

So, there is no one size fits all rule.

I think this is something both partners need to remember. There is a lot of expectation of males (who are often clueless (raises hand)) to know precisely what to do to pleasure a women. As you point out there is no knowing since there isn't A RIGHT WAY. OTOH males would do better to listen for information and not assume they know things that they don't. Women need to understand that subtlety is not their friend in communicating their likes.

 

[LargoKitt]

That feels a little like a request for sexy talk, which I don’t do here anymore (and haven’t for years).

I hear you and heed you. Guess I will have my 'Amelia' do what she does in my story and perhaps benefit from some distaff readers who are generous enough to cuss my ass and say, "A woman in that sitch would *never* do something like *that*. It would totes kill her buzz." Or the opposite.

 

[old_prof]

You may get some of that, but I think the point being made above is that every woman is different.

How about if it's one of their first times, her partner asks her?

Or if they're long term partners, assume the partner knows and does the right thing for her.

 

[dirk2024]

Even for a person like that, proper care and attention needs to be paid because that sphincter is not designed for incoming traffic.

But with a little training and dedication...

 

[ronde]

Deep research has led me to the conclusion that the vast majority of people with ovaries excite themselves by their own particular drumbeat on Lady Clitoris. However, alone or with a partner there sometimes seems to be a need for finger penetration. I know men can be clumsy at this. So, lady writers, if the damsel is diddling herself or boldly telling a partner how she likes her inside massage, what are some of the sensations she is going for? Rubbing the magic g-spot is a cliché, but it has its adherents. How long does she/he/it keep up that 'come hither' stroke to get you 'there'? Where is there?

If you ask a thousand women, you'll probably get a thousand answers from , "I don't know" to "I just like what feels good at the time", to a detailed description of what they like. Some won't tell you because they were raised to think that women shouldn't have those feelings. Yes, even today, some women are taught that. It's a mother's way to help make sure her daughter doesn't get pregnant before she's married.

If you're asking to know what you should do in real life, the answer is take slow steps and be aware of how the woman is reacting. She may not tell you when to stop or when to do more, but her reactions will if you watch.

If you're asking how you should write a sex scene, the answer is the same unless both your characters already know what the lady prefers. Just don't write the other partner giving an anatomical discourse on what to do to her and how to do it. Most women won't do that and if they do, it's a turn-off for most men.

 

[ronde]

Even for a person like that, proper care and attention needs to be paid because that sphincter is not designed for incoming traffic.

And there is no such thing as going too slow or using too much lube.

 

[LargoKitt]

Hmm, touched some nerves here. You know, there are tons of 'manuals' on sex positions, how to give a BJ, how to be good at cunnilingus, the importance or foreplay.... And then there are tons of stories about how this or that man 'takes his woman to heaven' with his light saber and Barishnikov moves. But I'm seeing a theme here that is poignant; and that is women saying, "How and when and why I get off is my business. I might share that with you, but by and large it is my affair. I'm pretty happy to share what fantasies or reality might get me in the mood. But what I do with those fantasies...ah, the joy of my secret garden." I think I need to honor that and enjoy whatever the authors with ovaries have to offer in their stories here.

 

[Jorunn]

Rather than searching for the one ‘spot’ the reality is more like a ‘zone’ that loves a bit of pressure and gentle rubbing.

 

[redgarters]

I haven't seen much from men in the way of, "I just need her thumb to keep flicking my frenulum about twenty times and then a quick squeeze..."

Well, we are rather simple creatures, men, just give us a tug and off we go.
Jokes aside, every guy has things they like and don't like, things that get them there fast and other things that may just feel frustrating. And it's not the same thing for every guy. The relevant equipment is perhaps just more visually accessible with men (and women's pleasure isn't exactly at the top of the sex ed curriculum - or even in it at all). Now when we get to anal stimulation the situation is quite similar as with vaginal digit dancing, not every prostate reacts exactly the same. Some people like the stretch above all else, others will need that pinpoint repetitive pressure, others a wider zone massage. There's no one correct way.

The lesson in this thread is to communicate, feel around and find the personal places, pressures and rhythms that will do the trick. Writing wise, that might make for a realistic (and fun) approach.

 

[Comshaw]

Even for a person like that, proper care and attention needs to be paid because that sphincter is not designed for incoming traffic.

Doctor: "How can I help you today?"

Female patient: "Well, it's awwww...painful around my (pointing at her behind) entrance."

Doctor sighs, "It will be until you realize it's designed to be an exit, not an entrance."






Comshaw