Finding Roz

[Blue Dolphin]

OOC.
Jack is a 35 year old man, who has returned to his roots in the midwest, just for the weekend. before returning home to Calgary.
He left the US when he was 17, because his dad got a good job in Canada.
He also left behind his girlfrien and first love of his life, Roz.
They kept in touch for a while, but eventually drifted apart.
The last thing Jack heard was that she was pregnant, and had been taken out of school, just over a year after he left town.

After a failed marriage, Jack is hoping against hope that he might just find Roz, in the 2 days he is in town.

This thread is now closed for sweetlysighing and I.

IC
After finishing my business in KC, I hired a car, for my weekend trip back home. Covering the 85 miles or so in good time, I checked into a motel, on the edge of town.

I sat on the bed, asking myself if I was nuts or not. Coming all this way, in the vain hope of seeing Roz, or to give her her proper name, Roslyn Davies, whom I had not seen or heard from in almost 18 years.
Maybe she was married now, with a house full of kids, or even had a career somewhere. Either way, I had to try, if only for my own peace of mind.
I had noticed the market as I pulled into the motel, and wandered over there, to get a few things. Magazines, a local paper, a six pack and some cigarettes.
I stood in line, with my little basket, waiting, eventually the woman on the checkout turned to me, smiling.

"Good afternoon Sir, will you want a bag at all?"

I did a double take, the name on her badge was Roz, and she certainly looked like the Roz I remembered. Surely not, it could not be, this was far too much of a coincidence wasnt it?

"Roz? Roz Davies, is it really you?"

 

[sweetlysighing]

OOC

Roslyn Davies (Roz) is a 34 year old single mom. She’s never strayed from her hometown…not even once. Her dream of becoming a world famous singer has somehow faded into dust and now it’s just another passing memory. There was one man who always made her feel good about herself – he made her feel too good, maybe. Since that awful day, all of those years ago, when Jack moved away, she has always wondered what might have been. In her dreams, he always returned home. In her heart, he always remained. If only fate really existed.


IC

Each morning it was the same thing. She’d help open the grocery early in the morning…making sure everything was in its place and ready for the customers. It was always a mad rush after opening as people would want to get in and out quickly as they made their way to work. Shortly after came the quiet time when all of the young moms would stop in for more bread or milk or other items they needed to hold them over until their next big shopping day. Yes, it was always the same…day in and day out. But why, then, did she have this feeling…this sense that something important was about to happen? Maybe it was just wishful thinking in her part or quite possibly it was because of the paperback book she’d just finished reading the night before. The ending was so beautiful that Roz couldn’t get it out of her head. It brought back all of the yearnings…all of the hopes and dreams she once had for a warm and happy future. Maybe it was just hope that she was feeling and nothing more. Maybe it was…

"Roz? Roz Davies, is it really you?"


She froze. That voice from long ago…the one that always sent shivers up and down her spine…the warmth…it all came back. But, it just couldn’t be. After all of these years, she had given up hope of ever having her “happily ever after”. She froze, too afraid to look. Maybe she had been daydreaming again – something that seemed to happen quite frequently these days.

Afraid to look, Roz took a deep breath and turned her head. It couldn’t be. It just couldn’t be…but it was.

“Jack? Oh my God, Jack. It’s you, it’s really you.” And, with that, Roz began to feel faint as the world began spinning and her heart felt like it would jump from her chest.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

“Jack? Oh my God, Jack. It’s you, it’s really you.”

I had to reach out, to steady her, as she seemed to suddenly stumble. She was as obviously surprised as I was, and why not, it was just incredible.
She recovered her composure somewhat, and I spoke to her again.

"You will not beleive this Roz, this ismy furst time in the States in years, I had some business in Kansas City and Topeka. I decided to drop by and see Abilene while I had the opportunity, for 2 nights, before going back. Just on the off chance, I might see someone I know. Well, if I am honest, that I might see you Roz. And now, I have been here less than 30 minutes, and there you are. I cant believe it, these things dont happen, not to me anyway."

I shut up then, still incredulous, just staring at her, wondering to myself what she was thinking. Probably that jack was nuts I figured.

 

[sweetlysighing]

Roz

His fingers are touching my arm. I feel them – their warmth, that incredible tenderness. I know I need to regain my composure as I see the growing line of customers behind Jack. But it’s all I can do to keep myself calm and to keep from falling apart. This just can’t be happening.

In that one instant of touch, all of the memories came flooding back. I saw the young boy who shared his ice cream with me on those hot summer nights when we lazily sat on the front porch swing. I saw the young man reaching out his hands to me so that he could pull me to him in an embrace so delicious that nothing else could compare. Now, standing before me was the man of my dreams and he was still the most handsome boy I remembered. The years had been kind to him and his smile was even more magnetic. His blue eyes still had that same magical sparkle.

“Oh, Jack, it’s okay, it really is. I’m fine so please don’t worry.”

Even as I spoke those words, I felt so silly, even a little bit embarrassed by the way I had reacted when I saw him. To be honest, what I really wanted to do was run to him and hold him so tightly and never let him go. But, the reality of the situation was that I was working and needed to get myself together.

I wanted to ask him a million questions but the words wouldn’t come. There were so many things I wanted to say to him, but I was tongue-tied.

“It’s so good to see you back in Abilene, Jack. How are you doing? How is your family?”

Can you believe after all of these years that’s all I could think to say to him? I felt like a love-sick teenager, my mouth so very dry and my insides were feeling like a million butterflies were flitting about. With trembling hands, I reached out to clasp his in mine. I wanted to welcome him home and let him know that I was truly glad to see him. But he was only home for such a short while. I’ve been waiting for what seems like a lifetime and now it comes down to two nights…only two nights.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

She ha dhardly changed at all, the beautiful auburn her, that set off her lovely green eyes. I twas like I had never been gone, but of course I had, and I knew now that I had been away for far too long.

“It’s so good to see you back in Abilene, Jack. How are you doing? How is your family?”

"My family? Oh, you mean Mom and Dad? Yes they are fine Roz, and still live in Calgary. I see them often."

I could feel the lady behind me shuffling, and gently nudging me as she waited in line. I looked at her, then back at Roz.

"It looks a little busy here Roz, I wonder, can we talk when you finish your shift,
about old times, and family? I am only in the motel next door, what do you think, shall I meet you here?"

What I really wanted to do was to offer to take her out to dinner, but maybe she was married. Or had a boyfriend. So I chickened out I guess, just asking when she finished work. I smiled at her, as she checked my goods, and looked at the amount on the cash register, waiting, hopefully, for a positive response.

 

[sweetlysighing]

Roz

Poor Mrs. Sanderson had a grumpy look upon her face – a cross between a scowl and a tiger growling. It was just my luck that she was the person waiting in line behind Jack. It so happened that she was a relative of the owner and I certainly didn’t want to upset her anymore than she already was. This job was much too important to me, but how could I dare let this man slip away from me so easily.

Jack had no idea, but it was music to my ears when he asked if we could get together to talk about our lives. In my dreams, I’ve imagined how it would be if we were ever together again. There have been many scenarios and many different endings, but the one that I liked the most was him holding me tightly and whispering words of love and desire in my ear and how we would always be together. I’ve made love with this man and savored each sensual moment, our passion never feeling sated. I have seen our future and have cried that it never happened. I’m too afraid to see it now.

Trying to sound casual, which was a difficult thing to do, I looked at him and smiled.

“I’d love to get together with you after work, Jack. I’m finished at 4:00 PM but I’ll have to change first, if you don’t mind. How about if we meet at The Corner Coffee House somewhere around 4:30? It’s just down the block a bit – you can’t miss it.”

I’m so hoping that I look calm and collected, but when I hand him his change, I begin to tremble. I don’t want him to see me like this but it’s too late. In his eyes I see tenderness, but I see something else, too – sorrow. He knows I’m struggling to keep myself composed. He could always read me like an opened book.

My voice catches as I send him on his way.

“I’ll see you later, Jack. Make yourself a great afternoon.”

 

[Blue Dolphin]

I could see that she was perturbed, the way she would glance at me, and then at the lady behind me. At first thinking that I had made a serious error in asking her to meet me to talk. Then she said OK, and that she would be at the coffee shop at 4.30.
Hell, I even turned round and smiled at the woman behind me. Leaving the store, I watched Roz flash me her wonderful smile, saying

“I’ll see you later, Jack. Make yourself a great afternoon.”

"Oh I will do my very best Roz, see you later then."

My smile even broader, if that were possible, as I left the store.

Returning to my room, I took stock of the situation, which had moved on much more dramatically than I had even hoped. To be here in Abilene was good, very good, but to find Roz so quickly, that was incredible, unbelievable even. And now I was going to be alone with her, for the first time un over 18years.

What would I say I wondered? And what if she did have a husband and children? She might only stay for twenty minutes. I tried to dismiss these negative thoughts, but it wasnt easy. I looked at my watch, 2.30, two more hours to wait, what to do?

I lay back on the bed, closing my eyes, and remembering our idyllic times together, all those years ago. Watching the sunset on Saturday nights, and making love by the light of the moon. Oh the foolishness of youth. God knows how her parents never caught us, in flagrante so to speak.

And the parting, that tearful parting, the pair of us weeping like babies, almost having to be pulled apart. And yet, a few months later, nothing, not a word from her, letters unanswered. Then of course, I heard that she was pregnant, and her parents had stepped in.

I could not blame her for finding someone else though, I, Jack, was thousands of miles away. I never did find out who the father was, or even if she had a son or a daughter. I guess that my pride made me figure that if she wasnt interested in me, then why should I bother. Of course, I am older, and wiser now, and realise there are probably many variables in the situation, of which I am unaware.

Sighing quietly, I decided to shower, and change. I wanted to look my best for her, even if this was to be a short, and possibly, our only meeting.

Arriving at the coffee shop at 4.15, I ordered a cappucino, and sat down to wait for her, my Roz, as she was back then.

 

[sweetlysighing]

Roz

What had she just done? This is crazy, Roz thought. After seeing to all of her customers, she had plenty of time to think about what had just happened and that’s when she became panicked. Guilt overcame her and the tears began falling for soon he would see her in another light. How could she ever explain to him what had happened during the years after his move to Calgary when she didn’t even understand it all herself? If she had loved him with all of her heart, how could she have turned to another man so easily? Maybe she shouldn’t even go. After all, it’s not like they were in love any longer. He probably had a wife and children and couldn’t wait to get home to see them. No, they weren’t in love at all…no way. He would think differently about her anyway after she told him about Sara.

As if on cue, my beautiful daughter burst through the grocery doors with a huge smile upon her face. I quickly wiped at my wet eyes with the sleeve of my shirt. I’ve always been strong for Sara.

“I did it, Mom! I made it! Can you believe it? ”

I guess I must have looked confused and startled, and I honestly didn’t know why she was so excited.

“Mom, don’t you remember the theater group? I’ve been talking about it for weeks now.” She sounded a bit anxious and I felt terrible but then it dawned on me. Sara had tried out for the summer theater program at school.

“Sara, honey, that’s great news! I’ve never seen you this excited and I’m so happy for you.”

We were so lost in the moment and began hugging and jumping up and down, dancing around the front of the store. I’m sure if anyone saw us they would have thought we were two crazy people.

“Oh, honey, I’m so proud of you. How about if we go out to dinner and celebrate tonight?”

That’s when her expression changed. I could see the nervousness pass through her eyes. “Mom, if it’s okay with you, Mark and I are meeting some of our friends in a little bit. We’re gonna grab a bite to eat and then hang out later. Do you mind? Is it okay?”

“Sure, honey. Go and have a great time – 11:00 PM, remember?.” And, as an afterthought I added, “Be good!”

“Thanks, Mom. I will. See you later and I’m always good!”

“Oh, Sara, by the way, I’m meeting an old friend for coffee after work. I shouldn’t be too long but I’ll make sure to leave my cell on just in case you need me.”

“Okay, Mom, see you later…Oh, and don’t forget to be good.”

I could hear the giggle in her tone at that last comment as she ran toward the door and just like that she was gone. Her youthful exuberance shining for all the world to see.

That’s when I realized that I didn’t want to be alone tonight. God knows I didn’t want to wallow in self-pity after having just been turned down by my own daughter. Besides, I was just meeting an old friend for coffee, yes? Nothing more, nothing less – just a simple friendship.

Before I knew it, it was 3:50 PM and my shift was soon to be over. My replacement, Sam Howard, was putting on his apron and was ready to replace me. “Have a great weekend, Roz.” “You can bet I will, Sam – Friday is always the best day of the week, isn’t it?”

With a wink and a smile, Sam scooted me out of the way and untied my apron - our usual routine. He was such a sweet, fatherly man.

All the while I was changing in the back room, I thought about how handsome Jack looked. He hadn’t changed a bit – the years had been kind to him. His rugged features and his tanned complexion only added to his charm. He was still the Jack I remembered.

When I walked into the coffee shop, I could see him immediately. He was chatting with the waitress and they were both in the midst of a hearty laugh. He hadn’t changed one bit – always the charmer. That’s one of the things I had loved about him. It was that glimpse that melted away all of the years of unhappiness. I couldn’t walk quickly enough to reach him and wrap my arms around him.

“Jack”, I whispered as I tapped him on the shoulder. When he turned to look at me, time stood still and for the briefest moment, I couldn’t remember where I was.

 

[Blue Dolphin]

I was chatting with the waitress, flirting almost, when I felt a tap on my shoulder, and heard a whisper from my past, that made me shiver momentarily.

“Jack”

I turned to see Roz standing there, out of her dreary uniform now, and looking as beautiful as she had all those years ago. Taking her hand in mine, I leaned forward, kissing her cheek, and whispering back.

"I am delighted to see you again Roz."

I pulled out a chair for her to sit on, and ordered more coffee for us both.
She seemd quiet, pensive even, as though she was not even sure that she should be here. Trying to relax, and it was not easy, I started speaking.

"I cannot describe in simple words how this feels Roz, I had hoped that maybe I would hear something about you, or be able to leave you a message on my short visit. But to find you so soon, it is just amazing."

I took he rhand in mine, she jumped a little, and started to say something, but I stopped her.

"Wait please Roz, hear me out first, I beg of you."

She nodded her agreement, although I was not sure if I could see tears welling up in her eyes.

"Its a long time ago now, since Dad got his job in Calgary, and we were torn apart. We have both moved on, led our lives as best we can, but believe me Roz, I never forgot you. Never did a day go by that you did not cross my mind. I swear to you Roz, that is true. No doubt you are wondering why I never came back before, never tried to contact you. Well, about a year after I left, Dan, my buddy from the old neighbourhood wrote me, said you were pregnant, and that you had dropped out of school. I figured with a baby and all, you would probably marry, and have a life with a new family, of your own.

As for me, I went on to University in Calgary, with a year in London, studying economics. After graduation, i got a job in IT, with a software company.
The company at that time was called Schoolware. We did software, specifically designed around individual schools and colleges needs. It was hard work, I would spend weeks away from home, setting programs up, and debugging them. My marriage suffered through it also."

Noting the look on her face, the shock even, I paused for a moment.

"Yes Roz, I was married, a Canadian girl called Debbie. But it did not last long, while I was away working all hours, she hit the bottle, and then the bars. In a way it was my fault, for not paying her enough attention. I came home 2 days early once, caught her naked in the lounge, with two guys, also naked.

We are divorced now, since 2001. And strangely, the divorce seemed to kick start my life again, work wise. The company changed its name to "Edusoft" Solutions for your educational programs.

We got work all over Canada, and then in the US as well. I worked my way up to be Vice President, which is what I am now. Travelling club class to jobs, staying in top hotels. Normally I only work in Canada, but when I saw the Kansas job, I jumped at it, thinking this might be my only chance to make contact with you again.

So there you have it Roz, my life, in a nutshell, but I have to say, that today it took a turn for the better."

Squeezing her fingers gently, I smiled, wondering what she would say, or do.