Finding a Third Party?

[OnlyInDreams]

(I orginally posted in personals, but I think that's the wrong place. I'm lookin' for advice. Not come ons....yet.)

So, DP and I *think* we'd like to try out having a third party in our rockin' sex life. But.....how do we meet someone who is healthy/safe/not unhealthily insane? I propositioned a young man (first time propositioning) this weekend and I don't think it went all that well. Well, he didn't call us, so I'm guessing it didn't go well at all. *shrug* We're open to men and women (totally interested in FMF/FFM and MFM, but no MMF) So tell me, what's your secret for finding sexually adventurous, willing and able adults to play with?

TIA!

 

[SweetErika]

You really don't know if anyone is healthy, and the only way to stay safe is to not have sex because condoms don't prevent all diseases (they can also fail), some things aren't routinely tested for and testing isn't a guarantee of anything. So, I think you have to proceed with the idea that you're taking a risk and do your best to protect yourselves by assuming everyone you're involved with has something.

Since it sounds like you're pretty flexible and only looking for sex, why not look into swinging/lifestyle people, clubs and organizations in your area? At events, you can figure out if there's a connection right away and since everyone there is interested in sex, there's no problem with propositioning people who are uncomfortable with joining you. Yeah, it's mostly other couples, but that can be an advantage in many ways, too.

(Note that while you might think people like swingers who are promiscuous would be vigilant about frequent STD testing, condoms and dental dams, that's often NOT the case. Some are, but many figure everyone else is being smart, so they don't have to be. And the reality is having partners who have a lot of partners is just riskier, all other things being equal. So no matter who you're with, be smart about protecting yourselves, rather than relying on others to be clean and safe.)

Other than that, there are certainly plenty of single men out there who are happy to fuck anything with a pulse. You can find them on dating sites, adultfriendfinder (if there's still a free basic membership that allows people to contact you, it might be worth a try, but I'd be wary of paying for anything or giving AFF access to my CC number), craigslist, and right here on Lit. They may or may not actually be single relationship-wise, honest about anything, nice, safe, anywhere near sane, attractive or skilled in real life, so be prepared to do some serious screening, be lied to and stood up, spend time meeting them for coffee first, etc. That's often just the reality of meeting people (and particularly men for sex) online, unfortunately.

Anyway, good luck in your search!

 

[civgod]

You could also consider any adult book stores around you, where usually there will be a couple men who would love to participate. Making sure you are safe would be completely up to you, because you would be interacting with an unknown person (unless you start to go weekly )

Basically, just buy 10-20 condoms before going back to view the videos, and stay until they're used up.

Wild and crazy time!