Maybe its just me. But after time and deliberation, I think I know what I want!!!!!!!
This past week has been very drama filled, but this last weekend I did alot of soul searching. With the help of a couple of friends; and my personal views, I have decided to take my future into my hands.
I plain and simple DON'T want the internet bull shit anymore. Yes I've made some great friends; whom I plan on staying in touch with, but I don't want to go into the phone/cyber sex anymore. Not that I do it much to begin with, but I just can't go there. It all becomes a booty call. Which I am NOT! I end up feeling cheap & easy, and one of my best friends in the whole world pointed out; that I'VE ALWAYS been a lady, first and for most. I've always carried myself with pride; honor,power,grace,dignity......And somewhere along the road, I lost that.
So what am I gonna do now? I don't know. But its MY life, which I own. No-one else does. It took me almost 8 yrs. to understand that, and I WILL NOT relinquish that to another man. I will not be treated as I have been.
There is someone here I'm very attached to, and have cared about. But deep down he knows that we could never really "BE" together. His life & mine are too far apart! I don't want us to kid ourselves into thinking it could ever be more. I know he will move on to someone else, if he hasn't already. I want him to know I care about him, but I understand the score. Please be happy!!!!!!!!! Everyone be happy........I am......I REALLY am......Having no-man is the best way for me to find myself.
Beth
This past week has been very drama filled, but this last weekend I did alot of soul searching. With the help of a couple of friends; and my personal views, I have decided to take my future into my hands.
I plain and simple DON'T want the internet bull shit anymore. Yes I've made some great friends; whom I plan on staying in touch with, but I don't want to go into the phone/cyber sex anymore. Not that I do it much to begin with, but I just can't go there. It all becomes a booty call. Which I am NOT! I end up feeling cheap & easy, and one of my best friends in the whole world pointed out; that I'VE ALWAYS been a lady, first and for most. I've always carried myself with pride; honor,power,grace,dignity......And somewhere along the road, I lost that.
So what am I gonna do now? I don't know. But its MY life, which I own. No-one else does. It took me almost 8 yrs. to understand that, and I WILL NOT relinquish that to another man. I will not be treated as I have been.
There is someone here I'm very attached to, and have cared about. But deep down he knows that we could never really "BE" together. His life & mine are too far apart! I don't want us to kid ourselves into thinking it could ever be more. I know he will move on to someone else, if he hasn't already. I want him to know I care about him, but I understand the score. Please be happy!!!!!!!!! Everyone be happy........I am......I REALLY am......Having no-man is the best way for me to find myself.
Beth
