Femdom

[Raine D8]

like isn't that just screaming submissive and wanting to suck off your sub and be fucked by him or her, too?

 

[Alt]

So?

 

[lust4us]

I am a Femdom and I love it and am proud of it. Is this thread going to develop to be how to be a better Femdom? Or what is our definition of a Femdom? Or what do we like the best about being a Femdom? I can't wait to see where this is going. What were your thoughts, Raine D8, when you started this thread? I personally, would love to hear from all the Femdom's on Lit and get to know them. If that is possible? D.

 

[Netzach]

like isn't that just screaming submissive

Uh no. Definition 101 - dominant = not submissive.

wanting to suck off your sub and be fucked by him or her, too?

Depends on the people involved.

 

[~Blacklace~]

like isn't that just screaming submissive and wanting to suck off your sub and be fucked by him or her, too?

Im sorry this whole sentence makes no sense to me ...please elaborate.

 

[lust4us]

Uh no. Definition 101 - dominant = not submissive.



Depends on the people involved.

You sound like an incredible Dom Netzach! Can you please expand on your thoughts and experiences and wants/demands, as a FemDom! G.

 

[Vixandra]

You sound like an incredible Dom Netzach! Can you please expand on your thoughts and experiences and wants/demands, as a FemDom! G.

Read just about any thread she's written in, LOL.



As to the topic- Making someone please me does not make me submissive.
And if I want to please them in return, it does not lessen my dominance.

Perhaps it does yours, but me, I'm pretty secure with my dominance, enough to do what I/we want when its wanted and not worry about whether it seems "femdomly" to anyone else or not.

 

[Raine D8]

Just trying to capture your attention, so thanks for your patience and responses off the cuff. I appreciate each and every one.

To Netzach - love it, and always love your answers, thank you. Of course, Fem = submissive or bitch dyke with an attitude ... one or the other in our culture and depending on how we define the 'fem'.

Lust4Us: getting there slowly. Thank you.

This is a multi-dimensional discussion, but in my work I come across the term 'Femdom' quite consistantly and I have never quite understood why a dominant woman might like to use a term that actually seems started by the male porn industry or why she would have to qualify her status as a Dominant with the prefix of 'fem'. Certainly, I never see or hear dominant men stating "I am a maledom" or in porn I never see promo that states "this is a HomDom site". I realize it's merely a word and yet I am interested in the reasons why one might choose Femdom over simply ... Domme?

Similarly, I was thinking about Doms. Do they get fucked by their subs in a D/s scenario when they are the D in the equation of a session? I have never understood what I would like to call 'Femdom' (respectfully to those who define themselves as such) porn sites where the supposed tops are put in a bottom position. Similarly, I never let my subs fuck me when I am Domme, although this is a personal preference and I appreciate the wonderful diversity of S/m and it's a question for those that would like to discuss this aspect.

Another interest is in the history of the Domme. She certainly wasn't created in the Garden of Eden, although in myth she may have been the Judeo Lillith. She very well could have been the Amazon. She is definately the anithesis to every genderized sexual stereotype we are taught, or so I once imagined.

Any thoughts, responses, attitudes or experiences? All in talk and all in interest.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Femme?

adj.
Slang Exhibiting stereotypical or exaggerated feminine traits. Used especially of lesbians and gay men.
n.
1. Slang One who is femme.
2. Informal A woman or girl.

 

[CharleyH]

Femme?

adj.
Slang Exhibiting stereotypical or exaggerated feminine traits. Used especially of lesbians and gay men.
n.
1. Slang One who is femme.
2. Informal A woman or girl.

Well, I dunno, I see where this is going. Fem can either mean femme or feminist from a semiotic POV and I do believe the femdom came from the feminist terminology, so a femdom (and I think in context - guessing - Female D/ male s - should indicate not a sterotype or exaggeration of femme traits, but rather a strength and control beyond that of a male sub, or even a Dom for that matter and taking power from her natural sadism (as nature tends to be sadistic) rather than that created by men in culture (ie sterotype). But hey - just a point.

 

[AngelicAssassin]

But hey - just a point.

Sorry CharleyH, i forgot to quote a piece of the originator's reply. i didn't understand where the thought process for a Femdom taking a submissive position during sex came from either.

 

[CharleyH]

Sorry CharleyH, i forgot to quote a piece of the originator's reply. i didn't understand where the thought process for a Femdom taking a submissive position during sex came from either.

Not a problem. What is intriguing to me, because I did try to look it up just now to see if I even guessed 'HALF' right, is where the term 'FemDom' originates? I assume from 'feminism' but really can't find anything.

Anyone have any ideas? (even in a Balderdash way?)

 

[Netzach]

Just trying to capture your attention, so thanks for your patience and responses off the cuff. I appreciate each and every one.

To Netzach - love it, and always love your answers, thank you. Of course, Fem = submissive or bitch dyke with an attitude ... one or the other in our culture and depending on how we define the 'fem'.

Lust4Us: getting there slowly. Thank you.

This is a multi-dimensional discussion, but in my work I come across the term 'Femdom' quite consistantly and I have never quite understood why a dominant woman might like to use a term that actually seems started by the male porn industry or why she would have to qualify her status as a Dominant with the prefix of 'fem'. Certainly, I never see or hear dominant men stating "I am a maledom" or in porn I never see promo that states "this is a HomDom site". I realize it's merely a word and yet I am interested in the reasons why one might choose Femdom over simply ... Domme?

Similarly, I was thinking about Doms. Do they get fucked by their subs in a D/s scenario when they are the D in the equation of a session? I have never understood what I would like to call 'Femdom' (respectfully to those who define themselves as such) porn sites where the supposed tops are put in a bottom position. Similarly, I never let my subs fuck me when I am Domme, although this is a personal preference and I appreciate the wonderful diversity of S/m and it's a question for those that would like to discuss this aspect.

Another interest is in the history of the Domme. She certainly wasn't created in the Garden of Eden, although in myth she may have been the Judeo Lillith. She very well could have been the Amazon. She is definately the anithesis to every genderized sexual stereotype we are taught, or so I once imagined.

Any thoughts, responses, attitudes or experiences? All in talk and all in interest.

Oh.

Well I prefer FemDom to Domme. Domme is pseudo franco smurfette nonsense to me, diminuitive. FemDom to me just specifies Female Dominant. In all candor I'd like to be "Master Netzach" but as a pro that confuses the hetero minions too much, plus I am a little bit girly, so I use Domina.

I don't think a lot of guys get assplayed or fucked by their subs, but I'm sure some do. The one person I'd still submit to sexually certainly likes his asshole abused when he submits to me, and I would not be shocked if he wanted it toyed with nicely were we ever to reverse spots again.

I think it's the deep dark barely acknowledged secret in gay leather, to some degree, and I think some tops are railing against the old codes that would totaly socially ostracize any Top who admitted his ass ever got touched and he liked it. I think we are heading into a slightly more relaxed era about our sphincters collectively maybe? I don't understand porn like you are talking about with a blowjobby-hetero bottom kind of sexual finish to a female-directed SM scene, but I sure do like the kind of hot nasty directive sex where someone's fucking is encouraged or ridiculed with lots of expletives - and yeah I've seen this in adult media at times.

To me, fucking a bottom is a major perk of non-pro play. The more I play professionally and therefore highly non-sexually the more I get randy in my personal life. I've climbed onto butch bottoms of both genders when they are sufficiently restrained and had myself a good time. I've had males do me with a strap-on while their stuff is tied down. Fucking for sexual sport and frustration is just a fun night at home.

I guess I get it when people always equate sexual receptive positions with passivity, but I don't anymore. Bossy asshole bottoms, bad days, and my bad self-esteem days are threats to my incredible and undeniable POWER -- not getting something up the cooch.

 

[cfnmparty]

Bumping this topic

http://www.ladysamantha.co.uk/femdom-lady/femdom-tgps/femdom_2-full/ls-femdom2_10.jpg

Is this femdom to you?

 

[Netzach]

Not especially in some ways, yes in others.

With the right people it could be, in the right mindset.

But the whole idea of "forced" pussy licking is kind of stupid with guys who love to eat pussy, if you ask me.

Then I think about some of my regular bedroom exploits and that seems really hypocritical of me to say...lol

 

[cfnmparty]

It looks to me like he's just out of reach of licking the pussy. Maybe she squeezes his cock and balls hard everytime he tries to go for it.

 

[dredzo]

Forced pussy licking

But the whole idea of "forced" pussy licking is kind of stupid with guys who love to eat pussy, if you ask me.

So what would you consider fun? Ass licking? Drinking pee? Shrimping?

Just curious!

 

[gingermango]

Fucking for sexual sport and frustration is just a fun night at home.

Netzach - that may be the most genuine and to-the-point thing I've ever read about a real-life D/s relationship, off the cuff though you may have meant it.

Oh, and my wife doesn't like Domme either. She just decided on "Goddess" instead.

 

[Temptress_lee]

I think there's a diffrence between forced pussy-licking, and just licking pussy.

The force is what turns the male-sub on in the first place. It's her ability to go after what she wants, and the way she can enjoy herself and tell you exactly how she likes it. Even if that means smothering you by sitting on your face. She gets really dirty about it. It's almost like when a female sub gives her Dom head. The guy tends to talk dirty, and he's forceful about it. Well this is generally what forced pussy-licking is about. Your basically asserting yourself. Rather the Sub likes it or not is of little concern to her because her focus is making herself feel good. Your not just licking her pussy, your worshipping it.

As for general pussy-eating. It's diffrent because any guy could just eat a pussy.

I'm also curious about the Femdom thing. My question is what is so submissive about saying, "Femdom?" What makes it so submissive to put
the word, "Fem" before the word, "Dom?" You might say that traditionally
a female usually takes the role as the bottom. But in the Femdoms mind, the female Dom is superior and by putting the, "Fem" before the "Dom" it sets her apart from the rest. If you'd like to know more about it vist this site. This woman has great knowledge on what it means to be a "FemDom"

http://www.elisesutton.homestead.com/QuestionForum.html

 

[ScarlettRose]

Really the only place I've seen "FemDom" used is more as a search term. Makes it a little easier to find the Female/male discussions, stories, pictures etc among the vast supply of Male directed material. How much sense would it make to say "I'm a FemDom." anyway.

 

[MajorHoulihan]

Its not hard to maintain one's femininity while being quite dominant.
Most men like agressive women.

 

[cfnmparty]

Its not hard to maintain one's femininity while being quite dominant.
Most men like agressive women.

So true...and you are so hot!

 

[Etoile]

I think it's the deep dark barely acknowledged secret in gay leather, to some degree, and I think some tops are railing against the old codes that would totaly socially ostracize any Top who admitted his ass ever got touched and he liked it.

In Old Guard, definitely, totally. But it seems to me like everybody else is flexible in some way or another...there are boys, and Daddies, and puppies, and all that...but I don't think anybody complains about only doing the fucking or only being fucked.

As for the word "femdom" I've always thought it is "female" plus "dominant" - I don't think it confers femininity, femmeness, or feminism.

 

[Pure]

Hi N, Note to temptress

I agree with your basic point that to 'dominate' or 'top' you need not forego satisfaction.

I have one demurrer, however: My impression is that the 'secret' was not all that buried.

N: //I think it's the deep dark barely acknowledged secret in gay leather, to some degree, and I think some tops are railing against the old codes that would totaly socially ostracize any Top who admitted his ass ever got touched and he liked it. //

For instance, Des de Moor in his deviant' dictionary notes

//Also ["top"] may not imply role-played domination and submission but just who does what to whom. Confusingly some people associate them [tops] with [actively performing] anal intercourse, but it should be remembered that some tops like to get fucked too. //

The bracketed additions are mine.

I also agree with you about 'forced pussy licking'--it would be a joke 9 times out of 10.

Temptress, you said,
//I think there's a diffrence between forced pussy-licking, and just licking pussy.

The force is what turns the male-sub on in the first place. It's her ability to go after what she wants, and the way she can enjoy herself and tell you exactly how she likes it. Even if that means smothering you by sitting on your face. She gets really dirty about it. It's almost like when a female sub gives her Dom head. The guy tends to talk dirty, and he's forceful about it. Well this is generally what forced pussy-licking is about. Your basically asserting yourself. Rather the Sub likes it or not is of little concern to her because her focus is making herself feel good. Your not just licking her pussy, your worshipping it//

p: i don't entirely see this, but I appreciate your sensuality.

the only way i see it as 'forced' is if it is carried to an extreme. you can't force a kid to eat a bowl of icecream. but it is force if you make him to eat a gallon, after drinking several glasses of water; that is force. (like the old parental punishment for smoking a cigarette: smoke cigars till you puke).

IMO, if a femdon was on her period and had him remove and chew the tampon, then insisted on taking a piss in his mouth first, and offered a pussy yesterday fucked by some other guy, THEN you're talking 'force.'

In such case, the demand of a 'sub' ''eat my pussy' might, IMO, genuinely imply 'force', i.e. imposition rather than indulgence.

 

[Silverbabe]

Just trying to capture your attention, so thanks for your patience and responses off the cuff. I appreciate each and every one.

To Netzach - love it, and always love your answers, thank you. Of course, Fem = submissive or bitch dyke with an attitude ... one or the other in our culture and depending on how we define the 'fem'.

Lust4Us: getting there slowly. Thank you.

This is a multi-dimensional discussion, but in my work I come across the term 'Femdom' quite consistantly and I have never quite understood why a dominant woman might like to use a term that actually seems started by the male porn industry or why she would have to qualify her status as a Dominant with the prefix of 'fem'. Certainly, I never see or hear dominant men stating "I am a maledom" or in porn I never see promo that states "this is a HomDom site". I realize it's merely a word and yet I am interested in the reasons why one might choose Femdom over simply ... Domme?

Similarly, I was thinking about Doms. Do they get fucked by their subs in a D/s scenario when they are the D in the equation of a session? I have never understood what I would like to call 'Femdom' (respectfully to those who define themselves as such) porn sites where the supposed tops are put in a bottom position. Similarly, I never let my subs fuck me when I am Domme, although this is a personal preference and I appreciate the wonderful diversity of S/m and it's a question for those that would like to discuss this aspect.

Another interest is in the history of the Domme. She certainly wasn't created in the Garden of Eden, although in myth she may have been the Judeo Lillith. She very well could have been the Amazon. She is definately the anithesis to every genderized sexual stereotype we are taught, or so I once imagined.

Any thoughts, responses, attitudes or experiences? All in talk and all in interest.

I don't understand this. If you object to using "Femdom" because it qualifies Dominant, why would you call yourself a Domme, when that qualifies Dominant as well?