Femdom fans?

[dirtyfootslave8]

Love Femdom! Having a women in charge is such a turn on! Right now I am serving Queen Valerie on https://writeforme.org/user.php?userID=16130

 

[jdforfun]

I am a FEMDOM fan, enjoy the fantasy of a dominant woman in charge. I love serving and satisfying a woman as well. Unfortunately its hard to find such a wonderful, adventurous woman. Always open to the possibility!

 

[ShyMaleSub]

Unless you're crawling around on all fours and answering "yes my queen" I don't know how many people would notice. Although I'm sort of the opinion that what woman say they want is a man who is occasionally submissive or at least neutral...but by and large, it's a big turn-off for them; it becomes a security and respect blocker that only worsens over time.

Femdom that's not too severe, I understand. Or some switching between female or male dominance that's more nurturing, I can understand, too. But yes, women who are sexually confident and empowered and have some fetish ideas of their own are truly wonderful to talk with.

Couldn't agree more with that last statement. Fortunately, there are a lot of women like that on Lit, and I consider it a privelege when I can connect with one of them.

 

[ShyMaleSub]

There is a lot of wisdom in your excellent advice here, Wild_Honey. Thank you so much for sharing with us. I really want to try and apply some of this. Even if it doesn't lead to my wife dominating me, it will very likely improve our relationship.

My guess is that many middle-of-the-road women would be willing to experiment if introduced to the idea gently. Rather than start in the bedroom, where women typically have a shit ton of esteem issues already, start somewhere else in your relationship. Help her to see the fun in it, and/or the benefit to her. Otherwise, she's going to hear you saying, 'I don't want to bear the burden of our family/relationship, I just want to wear your panties and lick your pussy all day long,' which is not going to sound nearly as appealing to her as it does to you.

Before you can ask her to move beyond her comfort zone in the bedroom, you're going to have to make sure that she feels safe and fulfilled outside of it. What are her love languages? How can you 'serve' her in those areas? Come to her with a proposition, an experiment to give her just a taste, reaffirming on a regular basis that your goal is to meet her needs, and that your pleasure is the happy by-product. Know your woman, and what pleases her. Be proactive, take the initiative in designing the experiment to be a win-win situation.

Does she hear love through Acts Of Service? Tell her, 'Darling, I would like to please you today by serving you.' What woman in her right mind is going to say no to that? Make a list of things she hates to do, and do them for her, because you love her. Ask her if she has any needs. Do those. There - you are putting her preferences above your own, and that is a form of submission. It may not be the kind you are after, but it is a good place to start. You have to get on her page before you can invite her over to yours.

After she learns to trust that you are willing to put her needs and desires first in the unglamorous areas of life, you can begin to move toward more sensual activities. I have read excellent things on the Fet&Sex boards from those who have purchased a massage table, for instance. I would suggest that you pick a key phrase that will become familiar and reassuring and pleasant to her, to build her anticipation of what is in store, and then tweak it to suit each new exploration. 'Darling, I would like to please you today by serving you... with my hands. What can I do for you with my hands that would give you joy?' Make it easy for her to ask by offering some suggestions, but be prepared for her to test you by having you clean the toilets. If things are going well, you can ask her, 'May I serve you by rubbing your feet/brushing your hair/putting lotion on your back?' Eventually you can move to, 'May I give you pleasure by licking your (insert body part here).'

Work on getting her to receive your service and look forward to it before you expect her to want to actively control you. During the transition over, be sexy, be playful. Does she like to watch you masturbate? Tell her, 'I can't decide whether I should use my left hand, or my right. What do you think?' Don't put too much pressure on her. If she doesn't want to say, offer her a coin to flip.

Titles: I think titles can be fun, though I much prefer they sound like terms of endearment. Experiment in and out of the bedroom to see what she responds well to. You may find clues in the movies she likes or the books she reads. Don't insist on calling her Mistress or My Queen if she would prefer something less obvious.

No brainers: browse Lit, Reddit, FetLife, Tumblr together to find what appeals to her. Cruise Amazon for toys. Take her to Tractor Supply and have fun checking out collars and leashes and riding crops! As with everything, start small and let her set the pace. Most of all, make it fun.

 

[SurrealSal]

The word femdom when used generically across the net seems to carry a connotation associated with ball busting, sadistic, humiliating, women with little regard for their doormat subs. If that's you then by all means all the power to you. I am not one to judge and I completely understand the appeal of that to some.

For me I would say I love dominant women more than the generic concept of Femdom. A Dominant woman can be in control and yet giving, commanding yet sensual, a disciplinarian yet nurturing. It is in her ability to help nourish and grow her sub in all aspects that her power reigns supreme....for me.