female point of view

[jack30341]

What is the best way to get insight on how something physically feels to the oposite gender so that you can write authentically from the other gender's pov?

 

[miaction69]

video them - and watch there face and body language

 

[TE999]

What is the best way to get insight on how something physically feels to the oposite gender so that you can write authentically from the other gender's pov?

Consider your physical feelings during sex and multiply by a factor of three.

We'll consider emotions another time.

 

[penandpaper]

Ask them. The more you ask the more answers you'll be able to draw from. I imagine quite a bit of honest pillow talk will go a long way for a writer.

 

[jack30341]

what does that mean about multiplying the physical feelings by 3?

would really appreciate knowing

 

[jacks4u]

Ask!

You can also read what others have written - A female writer will likely write close to her own experiences. Men are the same, I know that I write close to my own physical sensations...


Jacks

 

[IrezumiKiss]

what does that mean about multiplying the physical feelings by 3?

would really appreciate knowing

Are you talking about orgasms, or...what?

We're all human beings and individual people before gender. There's no set-in-stone magic formula or female-male guidelines with that. Just imagine how you would act and react to something or someone, then think about having the appropriate genitalia switched with your current own.

 

[jack30341]

Are you talking about orgasms, or...what?

We're all human beings and individual people before gender. There's no set-in-stone magic formula or female-male guidelines with that. Just imagine how you would act and react to something or someone, then think about having the appropriate genitalia switched with your current own.

That's my problem:

I cannot imagine the physical, as well as the emotional, feelings attached to having a vagina andreceiving or taking genitalia.

Want to know more.

 

[TE999]

what does that mean about multiplying the physical feelings by 3?

That's just an estimate. It's probably higher.

That's my problem:

I cannot imagine the physical, as well as the emotional, feelings attached to having a vagina and receiving or taking genitalia.

Short of undergoing a sex change, I can't think of anything offhand.

Women are considerably more tactile than men. That's why they want to be caressed, stroked, cuddled and kissed before and after sex. Sometimes they just want to be held.

Men are a light switch, women are a rheostat.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

That's just an estimate. It's probably higher.



Short of undergoing a sex change, I can't think of anything offhand.

Women are considerably more tactile than men. That's why they want to be caressed, stroked, cuddled and kissed before and after sex. Sometimes they just want to be held.

Men are a light switch, women are a rheostat.

I would say that young, impatient men are a light switch. The older I get the more I appreciate the whole body contact and slow, prolonged love-making that are supposed to be the hallmark of the female sexual response. It maybe that for many woman, being a rheostat is normal. I think men can learn that. However, every individual is an individual so as has been stated above, ask.

 

[3113]

Men are a light switch

Hmm. And so much fun to flick on...

I would say that young, impatient men are a light switch.

Hey! I happen to be incredibly fond of that light switch, no matter what its age

 

[voluptuary_manque]

You have no idea how pleased I am to hear you say that.

 

[TE999]

Hey! I happen to be incredibly fond of that light switch, no matter what its age

Well, there is an occasional problem with older wiring.

 

[IrezumiKiss]

That's my problem:

I cannot imagine the physical, as well as the emotional, feelings attached to having a vagina andreceiving or taking genitalia.

Want to know more.

You're making it way more difficult than it needs to be, honestly.

You're writing fiction. You won't get it "exact." There is no "women always feel it deep to their cervix and go completely nuts" kinda shit.

Communication, sex and orgasms will be shown as how you want them to be.

So therefore, use your own experiences and the memory of your own senses on how you communicated, had sex and had orgasms with the women in your life.

If none of this works and you still need that absolute magic formula, just have someone fuck you up the ass. That's as close as a man will ever know about what it means to have a vagina getting reamed by a cock.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Well, there is an occasional problem with older wiring.

True, but the less I weigh the fewer problems mine has. Just sayin' . . .

 

[Stella_Omega]

Here's one thing you can try; make a loose fist, right? Take the index finger of your other hand, and slide it into that fist. Concentrate on the sensations your palm is getting, not the finger-- it might help if you press the back of your finger against your palm, maybe gently scrape the fingernail against the skin...

Of course, you have to decide if that's worth writing in detail, or if you can just gloss over it on the assumption that half of your readers already know and the other half never really will...

As far as the "emotional" part of letting him in, that's all in her head, or perhaps in yours. It's not always such a big deal, YMMV of course and for some women it does seem to be truly the point of the whole exercise, but for me the sensations don't have much to do with being innie or outie, they are just good sensations.

You can also ask your lady to penetrate you. The prostate makes a very nice substitute for the G spot, for many men.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Here's one thing you can try; make a loose fist, right? Take the index finger of

You can also ask your lady to penetrate you. The prostate makes a very nice substitute for the G spot, for many men.

Really, it does. You'd be amazed how many couples keep a dildo harness in a locked drawer of the night stand. Or an unlocked drawer for that matter.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Don't forget the lube!

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Don't forget the lube!

I especially recommend the wintergreen.

 

[glynndah]

I especially recommend the wintergreen.

Wintergreen?!?

Um. That's the BenGay, sweetie.

 

[TE999]

Wintergreen?!?

Um. That's the BenGay, sweetie.

Not for his use! Ditto for Absorbine Jr.

 

[lance gt]

Please don't let him get his paws on the Prep H, for Gawds sake!

 

[sutherngent985]

Heres a good description I found

http://sexsecretsblog.com/what-does-sex-feel-like-for-a-woman/

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

For starters there is no 'opposite' gender; the other sex is a distribution of traits just like....the other sex! And all this 'gender' bizness is a creature from the Land of Pretend. Males have no more idea what its like to be female than they know what its like to be God or a Periwinkel; ditto for females.

 

[dr_mabeuse]

To be a writer you need what's known as an emotional imagination. It's part empathy, part knowledge, and part ineffable talent, but it allows you to get inside another person's head and experience the world from their perspective. Without an emotional imagination, you can only write one character--yourself--so chances are we all have emotional imaginations and use them. Some of us are just better with them than others.

Sex, of course, is much more than physical sensation. In fact, getting the physical sensations of sex "right" is probably one of the less important things we do in a story. What does it matter if her pussy feels like velvet or silk to me? Does that really excite the reader as much as knowing that she urgently matches me stroke for stroke or that maybe she just lies there passively?

Not only does a man not know what a woman's orgasm feel like, but he doesn't even know what another man's orgasm feels like, yet that doesn't stop us from writing about them. That's because what's important is not how it feels physically, but how it feels emotionally. All the things people feel physically in a story are symbols of how they feel emotionally. That's what writing's about: making the internal, emotional world visible through the things our characters do. And if you don't know how someone feels emotionally, not only are you a poor writer, but you're probably a pretty miserable lover too.