Female opinion wanted. . .

[medjay]

Okay,

My second story "Anniversary Party" has been posted. My first attempt was pretty successful but this time I've attempted to write from a female point of view and I want to make sure I've got certain details right and everything is realistic. So, ladies, check it out and give a guy some feedback. I want to make sure I do you all justice.

Thanks,

Medjay

P.S.
Fellas feel free to comment too.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=42913

 

[Fairytat]

I skimmed it as I'm being a bit lazy tonight (I will go back and read it alot more in depth for editing issues if you want) and thought you did an admirable female pov. Aside from the first paragraph which just didn't ring true, you didn't sound like a male pretending to be a female. I could've missed a few parts that might've been glaring mistakes but nothing jumped out at me.

There were only two things that bugged me as I was reading. First, some of the lengths of some paragraphs. They were a bit long which forced my already lazy eyes to skip over them. Secondly, a woman who threatened to divorce her husband, kept yelling at him about his cheating is not considered jealousy in your book? On the other hand, it is fiction

All, in all, good rousing read

 

[medjay]

Actually, everything about the story is true except for the details of the sex scene. I actually knew a married couple who took another woman into their house under those exact circumstances. I just took the idea and ran with it.

 

[p_p_man]

Speaking as a man...

I found it another piece of accomplished writing by yourself.

Even though the storyline is nothing out of the ordinary it's the slow descriptive way you write that makes it for me. If it had been a hurried piece of prose it would have taken away much of what I found enjoyable about the story.

A slow story usually spells a dead one but in your case it doesn't.

I'm as much as getting down to the action as fast as any man but your timing, to me, was just right.

Don't know how the Lit ladies are going to feel about it but physically I think you had everything in the right place!

Once more medjay, nice one.

 

[Fairytat]

Medjay

I'm sure that arrangements such as this can work out but the way you set it up in this story it sounds like she would be jealous. Not necessarily of Angela but of the other women (Personally I would be a little threatened if the woman my husband slept with came to me and professed her love for him. I wouldn't allow her to move in to my house with us but then Im not really the type to share ).

Example: "I'd screamed at him over the phone and threatened to divorce him if he screwed up one more time." --- that sounds like a woman sufferng the throes of jealousy. That was my only point

 

[medjay]

Looks like I'll have to rethink this whole "jealousy" thing. You might be right. I'll talk to some of my female friends about it and get their take on the idea.

 

[PrincessKatie]

Well....

Hell Hath No Fury For A Woman Scorned!!!