Female Assassin

jerryjwj

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This story explores humiliation and domination but from a context which is consensual. I am very interested in the reaction it brings to woman interested in submission or rape or abduction fantasies. Please if you are female and find these fantasies erotically stimulating. Email me and tell me how the context of this story changed things for you. Tell me what took the erotic out of it or what elements aroused you.

If any one thinks this is good enough to submit to the story area, please let me know. I would be happy to submit it.

Thanks

Jerry

===== Female Assassin =====

She was told that woman would be in charge of her training for the next six weeks. The lieutenant pointed to a woman sitting at the bark bench twenty feet from them. Carol was some where in the middle of New York's Central Park and about to enter training with the CIA as an international assassin. She was thrilled.

"Are you sure she is the best?"

"Capt. you were sponsored in this program by an officer so high up, I can't mention his name. He personally picked Dr. Troy for your trainer. The Dr. is indisputably the best. When she is done with you, you won't think twice about walking up the steps of the Kremlin with a loaded bazooka. You will have no inhibitions, no fear of anything and you will have the technical know how to pull it off."

"But I don't know if you know her reputation. She is tough and while I don't know exactly her methods, they are secret. But I know they are unorthodox and I just want to be sure you really want to do this?"

"I have been waiting all my life for this. Nothing could stop me now. I am ready for what ever she has to throw at me. Lieutenant, I will see you in six weeks with my license to kill in hand. Thank you and dismissed."

Carol strode up to the Dr. with out hesitation. She stood in front of her and extended her hand to shake. " I am Carol, your charge for the next six weeks."

She looks at her. Her eyes drill into hers. The Dr. remained silent. Then after an uncomfortable pause "I know who you are. What I need to know is are you willing to learn?"

"I am. And I must say you come highly recommended."

"You are welcome to leave my training at any time."

"I will not give up no matter how hard you make it on me. I can do this job and I intend to prove it."

The Dr. looks at her with all of her attention. But she sees that her eyes dart around as she is actually paying attention to everything around her as well. "Walk with me, dear. I have something to show you."

The Dr. heads off in the direction of a crowd of people gathered around a street performer. A equestrian patrol officer is nearby. "See that performer. He is completely at ease with everybody's attention on him. he doesn't care how silly he might appear or if people are laughing with him or at him. That is how he is successful. Your job requires that nobody see you but to do that job well you can't hide because you are afraid someone will see you. You must act with out reaction to that fear. You must quench the fear of doing anything anytime or in front of any body."

Carol nods but only partially understands. She is confident that the Dr. will explain herself and things will make sense.

"Carol, how many people are here?"

"Twenty two. Seventeen men and four woman, one police officer on a horse. Half over 30 the youngest is a woman she is eighteen or nineteen. There is only one gun. That is in the police officers holster. And those two are having an affair. It looks like the woman is the one cheating on her husband."

"Very good. Impressive. What do you think my next question will be?"

"How did you know those two were having an affair?"

"No. It is how much do you fear these people's opinion of you?"

"I don't sir. Not at all."

"Take all of your clothes off right here right now. Then bend over and turn your naked ass toward me and wait to be spanked like a child."

Carol now understood just exactly how afraid she was of what these people thought of her. She was attractive enough. In fact very attractive. And those people wouldn't do anything but watch with great curiosity. The police officer might give her trouble. But physically he was no match at all for the training she had already had. She could drop him while he was still on his horse.

But the Dr. was right. She was still scared of what they might think of her. She knew she had to dance like nobody was looking. With only the slightest hesitation, which would have been imperceptible to anyone else but the Dr., she turned to face the crowd of people.

They were all watching the street performer. But Carol knew they would soon be looking at her. With out a further word to the Dr., she began to unbutton her blouse. She unhooked her bra and with one movement removed both blouse and bra. She allowed them to drop to the ground while she reached for the button at the top of her jeans.

No one looked her way yet. She had her jeans unzipped and she held the hem of her panties with the top of her jeans. She leaned down pushing the jeans and panties down to her ankles. Stepping out of the pants, panties and shoes as she stood up. Carol was naked in Central Park.

The first person caught a glimpse of a naked woman and turned around. Embarrassed, he quickly turned back. Carol chuckled, knowing that the sound of her laughter would bring everybody's attention.

Her tits were erect in the park breeze. Her pussy was dark and extended. Not from arousal but her inner lips naturally protruded. Her East Indian heritage lend her naturally pronounced features. Both sets of lips were full, pouty and dark colored. Her slender figure was fully lit by sunshine.

Carol turned her ass to the Dr. as instructed and bend over ready to be spanked. The Dr. took on the look of someone who was just aghast of the circumstances. She took several steps back and shook her head and pointed. "Oh my God. What is she doing? My God! My God!" The Dr. said this in her best imperiled helpless woman voice. Carol didn't flinch. She remained in the position she was told to assume waiting to be spanked.

Carol knew if any body had not heard her chuckle, they surely would have heard the Dr.'s protest. She knew every body was looking at her now. She knew the cop must have seen her. She imagined that he was enjoying this as much as anyone else and would probably be very slow to put a stop to it.

Everyone including the street performer stopped and stood staring at Carol's naked body, with puzzled looks on their face wondering why she was stooped over with her ass the highest part of her body. Carol reasoned that if the Dr. wasn't going to spank her, should she stop or improvise. What would Dr. Troy want her to do?

"Please will somebody spank me. I am not allowed to move until somebody spanks me. Please someone come over here and spank me." The men in the crowd would have loved to accommodate this pleading of Carol's but were too afraid to move. They didn't want anybody thinking something about them. They weren't even sure what someone might think. But they were sure that they didn't want them to think it.

The police officer knew he couldn't stall any more. He steps down from his horse and walks slowly over to where Carols body is very erotically positioned her self. "Do you need help miss? You know you will have to dress your self now."

"I can't officer. I suffer from a mental condition. I need to be spanked before I can get up. Will you please spank me?"

"A mental condition? You need what?"

"I need to be spanked so I can get up. Please take your hand and spank my ass with it. Please do it."

"uhhh mmmm uhhhh. If I spank you can you get up and dress yourself right now?"

"Yes sir. If you spank my ass with your bare hand as hard as you can, two or three times, I can get up and get dressed."

"Well, all right then, I guess." The officer raises his hand as if to bring it across Carol's ass but instead scratches his forehead. He looks down into her protruding sex, wishing that he could do more than spank her.

"Please officer, spank me. Spank me hard."

Whack! His hand makes contact with her soft skin. The on lookers watch as the shiver runs down Carol's thigh. Even the woman are mesmerized by the site of a uniformed officer spanking this beautiful naked woman who is bending over and asking to be whipped.

"Again please harder!" WHAAAAACK! His hand rests too long on Carol's shuddering cheek. She realizes that he is copping a feel. She waits to see just how long he feels he can get away with that.

"Please one more time but harder much harder." Carol reels forward from that last one. She even feels her large voluminous labia lips quiver to that blow. Her breasts must have given the on lookers quit a show. She stands and thanks the officer. But when she turns to pick up her clothes from the ground, they are gone.

Carol is amazed at the Dr.'s skill. She could imagine her naked body was diversion enough for Dr. Troy to steal the clothes out form under the onlookers gaze, even the cop but they were only two feet from her self. She must be good.

Carol doesn't see Dr. Troy anywhere but she spots a note. "3827 E. 80th ten minutes" Now, she had no clothes to put on so she would have to figure out how to ditch the cop with out getting arrested.

"I can't let you go wondering around like that miss. Your gonna' hafta' come with me. I'm gonna hafta arrest you. Now turn around and put your hands behind your back. Then I'll get you a coat or something."

This was simply too easy for Carol. Carol turned her back to the officer and faced the still staring onlookers. She pushed her chest out not to give them a better view but to draw the cops hands closer inside her range of reach. The instant that the cuffs touched her wrists, Carol reached over them and the cop heard the cuffs snap. But when he pulled his hands away to guide what he expected was a cuffed naked woman over near his horse, he found his own hands cuffed together.

"Sorry about that, officer, but I really don't have time to deal with your prurient behavior right now. Maybe next time."

Carol snatched the note so that it would not give away her destination and disappeared pushing her way directly through the crowd so that in the confusion no one could really tell which way that naked woman went.
 
I have other posts some much less consenting

I have other posts as well. Some much less consenting.

I also would finish the story if someone had an idea or suggestion as to it direction.

Jerry
 
Maybe you'll get more feedback in the authors' forums. This forum is not really meant for story pre-publishing.
 
Well, lessee... As a line officer and police supervisor for 17 years, there are a couple of major problems with your little scenario. First - your police officer wouldn't be operating alone, he would've called for back up (and a female officer at that, if available). No freaking way that an officer, in full view of the public, would spank your protagonist. Hell, with a crowd around, without a female officer or supervisor there as a witness to protect his happy ass in the event of a complaint and Internal Affairs investigation, he would probably not even touch the perpetrator.

Secon - Current proper handcuffing/arrest technique makes it extremely difficult, if not impossible, for a suspect to take the handcuffs away from an officer, let alone reverse the application. There's no way in world that an officer is going to approach someone in a manner that would allow them to "magically" handcuff the officer. Handcuffing is done from behind, with the suspects hands behind the back. More often than not the suspect is also bent over at the waist, or placed kneeling on the ground. First one wrist is secured, then the other one is done. I'd be happy to demonstrate. *weg* I'd love to see how your "suspect" is supposed to have gotten the cuffs from her wrists to the officers...

Back to square one for your scene...
 
Seems the ol' officer in your got his dander up

Seems the ol' officer in you got his dander up.

Wow!

Actually there is a lot more than the things your pointed out in the story that are unrealistic. However, for one reason or another, the parts pertaining to your profession seemed to totally mess you up.

I really didn't mean to suggest that your personal hand cuffing technical was defective. I am sure that woman just line up to be cuffed by you.

Just to be sure, there are no double ought spies either. Jethro Bodine would certainly have considered her a double ought spy. But actually there are none. 007 and his ilk are just in our imaginations. But I am glad they are there. I enjoy the Ian Fleming tales.

There is no license to kill, to hold in your hand or frame on your wall. Although some government agencies may in fact covertly sanction such activities, they would never admit it.

And I suppose that training for assassins would have to take place in a more discrete location than Central Park.

But I suppose the biggest story incredibility would be the whimsical use of sexuality to train double ought spies in the first place.

I would recommend keeping your police background less foreground. Unless of course it is exactly that part of your personality which compels your interest in alternative sexuality. Law enforcement does seem to have anti social proclivities. And these seem to be actively selected by recruitment policies. I don't know why. And I don't have career experience in law enforcement.

But I would not want to be female and in the social company of law enforcement personnel. To be sure, there are many exception to that uneasy rule. I am sure that you, personally, are the nicest person around.

Jerry
 
the point of my post

I think the point of my post was not to posit a realistic story of sexuality or of double ought spy training. But thanks George anyway. Those are good things to know. And thank you Chris9 for your suggestion. But again the point was not to solicit story ideas or advise; but rather it was surprisingly more similar to the message of the story pre-amble.

"This story explores humiliation and domination but from a context which is consensual. I am very interested in the reaction it brings to woman interested in submission or rape or abduction fantasies. Please if you are female and find these fantasies erotically stimulating. Email me and tell me how the context of this story changed things for you. Tell me what took the erotic out of it or what elements aroused you."

This forum should have these woman browsing them. And I really hope that some will grace me with a peek into that particular function of their physcy.

Chris, very nice photo. Very attractive. Good choice.

George, thanks but I don't bend that way.

I sure hope people have sense of humor, I am thinking of George, If I am every speeding through NC at 109mph.

I love that Sienfeld (spelling?) episode where the officer stops Jerry for speeding and he asks "Did you realize you were doing eighty at one point?"

Jerry responds "Wow, officer you must have clocked me after I slowed down. Because I was sure I hit 100 before the curve."

That had me laughing for a half hour.

Jerry
 
jerryjwj said:
I think the point of my post was not to posit a realistic story of sexuality or of double ought spy training. But thanks George anyway. Those are good things to know. And thank you Chris9 for your suggestion. But again the point was not to solicit story ideas or advise; but rather it was surprisingly more similar to the message of the story pre-amble.

"This story explores humiliation and domination but from a context which is consensual. I am very interested in the reaction it brings to woman interested in submission or rape or abduction fantasies. Please if you are female and find these fantasies erotically stimulating. Email me and tell me how the context of this story changed things for you. Tell me what took the erotic out of it or what elements aroused you."

This forum should have these woman browsing them. And I really hope that some will grace me with a peek into that particular function of their physcy.

Chris, very nice photo. Very attractive. Good choice.
Thank you.

My point (and I realize I did not make it well) was more that so far I have not seen many authors who got much, any, or useful information for their story writing on this forum. There might be the odd exception, but usually we come here to discuss our kinks (which for many include those you are wondering about). Most don't come here to help authors get started with our ideas/experiences which, as far as we know, could just be used for wanking material. Adding to this, those things you are wondering about have been discussed here. Reading through your rather long story to give you feedback is more than many would do for strangers.

If you want to find out more about submission, humiliation play, rape play, about how those participating feel, you could look through the library and do a search on those topics you're interested in. You might of course be lucky and some others decide to join in and tell you their experience and thoughts, but since they haven't done in all the time this thread has been up, I don't think your chances are very good.
 
I'm with Geoff on this one. To me, a story must be fairly well grounded in reality to hold my interest. I read a lot of horror and science fiction and fantasy, but even within those grounds, things are based in reality or at least a logical system of magic. I was chuckling over some of your plot points too, including the handcuff switch.

I don't think they (your characters) could attract an audience such as they did without someone raising an uproar. I don't think a naked woman could disappear through a crowd without anyone figuring out where she went either. The lack of believability sort of blew the story for me. You should also get someone to proof-read your final copy, because you've got a few run-on sentences and weird punctuation.

I suggest you tighten up the details a bit, and then let someone proof it before you turn it in. I've commented on why the story doesn't work for me (though I don't think you'll like my comments; you seem to be looking for a pat on the back rather than honest feedback, as your response to EG shows.) I also agree with Chris. The story feedback and story ideas forums have people (including female bdsm-ers that who don't drop here that often) who can help you refine your ideas. The volunteer editor program/forum is a great resource too.
 
Hi Jerry.

There were spelling errors, punctuation errors, and POV errors in your story. It's said that third person, past tense is the easiest for a reader to read. You mostly had that POV going, but there were parts of present tense in there.

It is very rare that a story will ever lapse from one point of view to another. Keeping one POV helps the reader know who's speaking, without a lot of punctuation in the text. And, it also helps them follow the story.

If you want your readers to like the story, you must make it easy to read. Corrected errors in spelling, puncutation and POV are all necessary for a good story. I also like a story to be linear. But, some stories do jump around. If you do that, make sure you explain what's going on, so the reader won't get lost.

You can have a lot of great sex in a story, but if you don't explain or describe it with detail, the reader will have a difficult time visualizing what's going on.

Now, not that what I've done is to your liking, I've fixed the errors that I found and I also think I helped the flow of the text a little, too, by changing a few sentences.

But, what you finally end up with, and how you choose to spell out the storyline, will have a great deal with how your story will be accepted by the reading public.

Fix your errors, or have an editor do that for you. Don't assume your story is perfect because you can't find any errors. The best writers always have an editor look over their text, just in case. Trust me...there is always something you've missed that someone else will be able to find and fix.

As to the story itself...there isn't enough to say for sure, but it seems a little out there, to me. Like Geoff said, she switched the cuffs on him pretty quickly, and you just don't do that.

OK, if you are going for some magic abilities, or whatever, maybe...but I don't think there is any kind of training that could make that possible, with her back turned. The cop had the advantage over her. His eyes couldn't see what was going on?

Police are redundantly trained to handcuff and even if she did get him cuffed, there would have been some kind of struggle. She might have come out ahead, but the way the story goes, it's too difficult to believe.

OK, here's my version of what you wrote. I didn't change much, but the errors I found. And, this is only my opinion. You could have someone else read this and get a totally different point of view. We all have our opinions and see how best to play out a scenerio. You will have to chose the method that best suits your tastes and the direction you want the story to go.

And in the future, you should post this kind of thing in the Story Feedback section. There are a lot of people who frequent that forum that are willing to help with story construction.


===== Female Assassin =====


She was told that woman would be in charge of her training for the next six weeks. The lieutenant pointed to a woman sitting at the bark bench twenty feet from them. Carol was somewhere in the middle of New York's Central Park and about to enter training with the CIA as an international assassin. She was thrilled.

"Are you sure she is the best?"

"Captain, you were sponsored in this program by an officer so high up, I can't mention his name. He personally picked Dr. Troy for your trainer. The doctor is indisputably the best. When she is done with you, you won't think twice about walking up the steps of the Kremlin with a loaded bazooka. You will have no inhibitions, no fear of anything and you will have the technical know how to pull it off."

The lieutenant continued. "But I don't know if you know her reputation. She is tough and while I don't know exactly her methods, they are secret. I know they are unorthodox and I just want to be sure you really want to do this?"

"I have been waiting all my life for this. Nothing could stop me now. I am ready for what ever she has to throw at me. Lieutenant, I will see you in six weeks with my license to kill in hand. You are dismissed. And thank you."

Carol strode up to the doctor without hesitation. She stood in front of her and extended her hand. " I am Carol, your charge for the next six weeks."

The doctor’s eyes drilled into hers. There were several uncomfortable moments of silence, then the doctor spoke. "I know who you are. What I need to know is, are you willing to learn?"

"I am. And I must say you come highly recommended."

"You are welcome to leave my training at any time."

"I will not give up, no matter how hard you make it on me. I can do this job and I intend to prove it."

The doctor took a long look at her, with great attention. But Carol saw her eyes dart around as she was actually paying attention to everything around her, as well. "Walk with me, dear. I have something to show you."

They walked in the direction of a crowd of people gathered around a street performer. An equestrian patrol officer was also near by. "See that performer? He is completely at ease with everybody's attention on him. He doesn't care how silly he might appear, or even if people are laughing with him or at him. That is how he is so successful. Your job requires that nobody see you. But, to do that job well, you can't hide because you are afraid someone will see you. You must act without reaction to that fear. You must quench the fear of doing anything at any time, or in front of anybody."

Carol nodded but only partially understood. She was confident that the doctor would explain herself and things would soon make sense.

"Carol, how many people are here?"

"Twenty two. There are seventeen men, four women and one police officer, on a horse. Half are over 30. The youngest is a woman. She is eighteen or nineteen. There is only one gun. That is in the police officer’s holster.” Carol pointed to a couple, standing in the crowd. “And those two are having an affair. It looks like the woman is the one cheating on her husband."

"Very good. Impressive. What do you think my next question will be?"

"How did you know those two were having an affair?"

"No. How much do you fear the this crowd’s opinion of you?"

"I don't ma’am. Not at all."

"Take all of your clothes off, right here, right now. Then bend over and turn your naked ass toward me and wait to be spanked like a child."

Carol knew how afraid she was of what these people thought of her. She was attractive enough. In fact…very attractive. And those people probably wouldn't do anything but watch with great curiosity.

The police officer might give her trouble, but he was no match physically, with all of the training she’d already had. She could drop him while he was still on his horse.

But the doctor was right. She was still afraid of what they might think of her. She knew she had to dance like nobody was looking. With only the slightest hesitation, which would have been imperceptible to anyone but the doctor, she turned to face the crowd.

They were all watching the street performer. But she knew all eyes would soon be on her. Without a further word, she began to unbutton her blouse. Carol unhooked her bra and with one movement, removed both blouse and bra. She allowed them to drop to the ground while she reached for the button at the top of her jeans.

Still, nobody looked her way. Carol had her jeans unzipped and she held the hem of her panties with the top of her jeans. She leaned down pushing the jeans and panties down to her ankles. Stepping out of the pants, panties and shoes as she stood up. She was naked in Central Park.

First, it was a man that caught a glimpse of her nakedness. He seemed embarrassed and quickly turned away. Carol chuckled, knowing that the sound of her laughter would bring everybody's attention. Her tits were erect in the park breeze. Her pussy was dark and extended. Not from arousal, but her inner lips naturally protruded.

Her Eastern Indian heritage lent her naturally pronounced features. Both sets of lips were full, pouty and dark colored. Her slender figure was fully exposed, in the sunshine.

Carol turned her ass to the doctor, and as instructed, she bent over ready to be spanked. But the doctor took on the look of someone who was just aghast of the circumstances. She took several steps back, shook her head and pointed. "Oh my God. What is she doing? My God! My God!" The doctor said this in her best imperiled, helpless woman voice.

But, Carol didn't flinch. She remained in the position she was told to assume, waiting to be spanked. She knew if anybody hadn’t heard her chuckle, they surely would have heard the doctor’s protest. She knew then that everybody was looking at her.

She also knew the cop must have seen her. She imagined that he was enjoying it as much as anyone else and would probably be very slow to put a stop to it.

Everyone, including the street performer, stopped and stood staring at Carol's naked body. They all had puzzled looks on their faces, wondering why she was stooped over with her ass the highest part of her body.

Carol wondered…if the doctor wasn't going to spank her, should she stop or should she improvise? What would Dr. Troy want her to do?

"Please, will somebody spank me,” she asked. “I am not allowed to move until somebody spanks me. Please, someone come over here and spank me."

The men in the crowd surely would have loved to accommodate Carol’s pleading, but they were all too afraid to move. They probably didn't want anybody thinking something about them. Maybe they weren't even sure what someone might think. But they were sure that they didn't want them to think it.

Carol knew the police officer wasn't going to stall any more. He steped down from his horse and slowly walked over to where Carol’s body was so erotically positioned. "Do you need help miss? You know, you will have to dress yourself now."

"I can't, officer. I suffer from a mental condition. I need to be spanked before I can get up. Will you please spank me?"

"A mental condition? You need what?"

"I need to be spanked so I can get up. Please take your hand and spank my ass with it. Please do it."

"Uhhh mmmm uhhhh. If I spank you, can you get up and dress yourself right now?"

"Yes, sir. If you spank my ass with your bare hand as hard as you can, two or three times, I can get up and get dressed."

"Well, all right then, I guess." The officer raised his hand as if to bring it across Carol's ass but instead scratched his forehead. He looked down into her protruding sex, wishing that he could do more than spank her.

"Please officer...spank me. Spank me hard."

Whack! His hand made contact with her soft skin. The onlookers watched, as the shiver ran down Carol's thigh. Even the women are mesmerized. A uniformed officer was spanking this beautiful naked woman while she bent over, asking to be whipped.

"Again, please...harder!" WHAAAAACK! His hand hesitated too long on her shuddering cheek. She realized that he was copping a feel. She waited to see just how long he felt he could get away with that.

"Please, one more time. But harder, much harder." Carol reeled forward from that last one. She even felt her large voluminous labia lips quiver from it. Her breasts must have given the on lookers quit a show. She stood and thanked the officer.

But when she turned to pick up her clothes from the ground, they were gone. Carol was amazed at the doctor’s skill. She could imagine her naked body was diversion enough to steal them out from under the onlooker’s gaze, and even the cop. But her clothes were only two feet from her, and she hadn’t noticed. The doctor must be good.

Carol didn’t see the doctor anywhere, but she did spot a note. She read it. ‘3827 E. 80th...ten minutes.’ She had no clothes to put on, so she had to figure out how to ditch the cop without getting arrested.

"I can't let you go wondering around like that, miss" said the cop. "Your gonna hafta come with me. I'm gonna hafta arrest you. Now turn around and put your hands behind your back. Then, I'll get you a coat or something."

This was simply too easy for Carol. She turned her back to the officer and faced the still staring crowd. She pushed her chest out. Not to give them a better view, but to draw the cops hands closer inside her range of reach.

The instant that the cuffs touched her wrists, Carol reached over them and they snapped closed. But when the cop pulled his hands away, to guide the naked woman over to his horse, he found his own hands had been cuffed together.

"Sorry about that, officer, but I really don't have time to deal with your prurient behavior right now. Maybe next time."

She snatched the note so it wouldn’t give away her destination. Then she disappeared, pushing her way through the crowd, so that in all of the confusion, no one could really tell which way that naked woman went.
 
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