Feeling left out...

[Guest]

So I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring and ask what people think of my stuff. If you click on the roaring kitty in my sig line, it'll take you to my story page. Have at it... All constructive criticism is welcome...

Oh and I should have chapter two of Giselle coming out soon, plus a new story that a fan of mine asked for in the mature category, something new for me. It's called Ivy. I also have two chapters of my latest Hunter story coming out soon.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

So I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring and ask what people think of my stuff. If you click on the roaring kitty in my sig line, it'll take you to my story page. Have at it... All constructive criticism is welcome...

Oh and I should have chapter two of Giselle coming out soon, plus a new story that a fan of mine asked for in the mature category, something new for me. It's called Ivy. I also have two chapters of my latest Hunter story coming out soon.

You already know what I think of your work...

 

[jomar]

Ditto drkman, DK.

 

[Guest]

yeah, but I'm fishing for compliments guys...my editor just sent me back my manuscript with so much marked in yellow I thought I'd gone jaundiced or something.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

How Mean

yeah, but I'm fishing for compliments guys...my editor just sent me back my manuscript with so much marked in yellow I thought I'd gone jaundiced or something.

Yellow? <Sigh> I prefer blood red, makes it look like I've cut their jugular and life is actively bleeding from their soon-to-be-corpse!

As you know I've been busy as part of my first group effort to write a Russian Bride story. But I'll take a peek with the promise of looking more seriously when I have more time.

<Rubbing my hand over your belly> There, there.

 

[jomar]

Yellow? <Sigh> I prefer blood red, makes it look like I've cut their jugular and life is actively bleeding from their soon-to-be-corpse!

I know well that shade of red, AS!

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I know well that shade of red, AS!

Ah, jomar is slumming as well. Here I took pity on a plea for attention, only to be drawn into a trap!

Jomar, go hard, man! Take out this threat, nine o'clock!

There's less red on my Christmas tree! Every entry is red with her, with nice little accents to boot, like a yellow "W". Impressive, kitty.

The nice thing about cats, they have more nipples!

 

[jomar]

Ah, jomar is slumming as well. Here I took pity on a plea for attention, only to be drawn into a trap!

Jomar, go hard, man! Take out this threat, nine o'clock!

There's less red on my Christmas tree! Every entry is red with her, with nice little accents to boot, like a yellow "W". Impressive, kitty.

The nice thing about cats, they have more nipples!

Where the hell is Box when you need him!

I read some of DK's stuff in the romance category and was very impressed with her skills. The emotional tension between characters was excellent, the heroines feisty and lusty yet had an air of innocence. I can only imagine that chests heaved and bodices were ripped with the best in that genre.

 

[Guest]

Ah, jomar is slumming as well. Here I took pity on a plea for attention, only to be drawn into a trap!

Jomar, go hard, man! Take out this threat, nine o'clock!

There's less red on my Christmas tree! Every entry is red with her, with nice little accents to boot, like a yellow "W". Impressive, kitty.

The nice thing about cats, they have more nipples!

And more claws...

I don't get along with that man whatsoever. He cut some of the important parts of the storyline, saying they were unnecessary. Well, I think his balls are unnecessary...should I cut those out too?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

And more claws...

I don't get along with that man whatsoever. He cut some of the important parts of the storyline, saying they were unnecessary. Well, I think his balls are unnecessary...should I cut those out too?

*snerk*

I know what you mean... I missed Lit SO MUCH when I first started publishing... days of submitting without too much editing, whatever I wanted, however I wanted to write it... *sigh*

 

[jomar]

And more claws...

I don't get along with that man whatsoever. He cut some of the important parts of the storyline, saying they were unnecessary. Well, I think his balls are unnecessary...should I cut those out too?

I saw my name in a the same post as deballing and got nervous. So I hope you're talking about your editor's and not mine! If the answer is your editor's, then yes. And if you find them to be about one inch in diameter, give them to Starrkars.

 

[writelove]

Daniellekitten,

Lovely name. I read Giselle, enjoyed it.

I have a few specific wordsmithing ideas.

The following sentence was awkward.

She landed on her arse, squealing as if someone had stuck her with a knife, before she struggled up and tried to get loose of his hold on her.

There were a few of your words that distracted me.

He snickered

he growled

she growled

The following paragraph was both good and distracting at the same time.
The first two sentences were good. Then you said "he growled." It didn't work for me. I would rather you say something different like: ...his voice more a growl than his usual bark.

The look on her face was almost priceless and if it weren't so important that he take control right away, he might have burst out laughing. But as it was, he couldn't let her see any sign of weakening on his part, and laughter was a definite weakness. "You heard me," he growled, reaching out and grabbing a hold of her hand to drag her out of bed as well.

The quote at the end of this sentence was not needed.

hiding the fact that she was looking for some way out."

Repeating the fall from the ladder scene did not work for me.

You write effortlessly, with a flow that pulled me along. I wanted to finish the tale, want to read the next one.

There is a sweetness about your style. I probably should have a better word for it, not like a sweet candy, more like dark chocolate.

Thanks for sharing it. I learned something from reading it.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Quickly Thinking...

And more claws...

I don't get along with that man whatsoever. He cut some of the important parts of the storyline, saying they were unnecessary. Well, I think his balls are unnecessary...should I cut those out too?

I'm hoping you're referring to jomar... He's expendable in my mind. And Box, well... watch your furry ass, kitty!

 

[jomar]

*snerk*

I know what you mean... I missed Lit SO MUCH when I first started publishing... days of submitting without too much editing, whatever I wanted, however I wanted to write it... *sigh*

How has the editing changed for you?

 

[Guest]

I saw my name in a the same post as deballing and got nervous. So I hope you're talking about your editor's and not mine! If the answer is your editor's, then yes. And if you find them to be about one inch in diameter, give them to Starrkars.

Now that is Snerk worthy...

I know what you mean... I missed Lit SO MUCH when I first started publishing... days of submitting without too much editing, whatever I wanted, however I wanted to write it... *sigh*

God that is so true... but then again, I'm still doing both so I guess I get the best of both words. I just find me editing my stories differently for lit than I used to.

 

[jomar]

I'm hoping you're referring to jomar... He's expendable in my mind. And Box, well... watch your furry ass, kitty!

So that's how it is, eh? When the chips are down, it's every man for himself.

Box is a character in my upcoming story, DK.

 

[Guest]

Daniellekitten,

Lovely name. I read Giselle, enjoyed it.

I have a few specific wordsmithing ideas.

The following sentence was awkward.

There were a few of your words that distracted me.



The following paragraph was both good and distracting at the same time.
The first two sentences were good. Then you said "he growled." It didn't work for me. I would rather you say something different like: ...his voice more a growl than his usual bark.

The quote at the end of this sentence was not needed.

Repeating the fall from the ladder scene did not work for me.

You write effortlessly, with a flow that pulled me along. I wanted to finish the tale, want to read the next one.

There is a sweetness about your style. I probably should have a better word for it, not like a sweet candy, more like dark chocolate.

Thanks for sharing it. I learned something from reading it.

OH comparing my work to dark chocolate...I think I love you. I agree, if I had gone over that and edited it before I submitted it I would have changed some of the wording but recently, things get submitted as they are written. No editing. I guess I should start again, just have been so busy...

 

[Guest]

So that's how it is, eh? When the chips are down, it's every man for himself.

Box is a character in my upcoming story, DK.

He isn't like the box character in Logan's Run is he?

 

[jomar]

He isn't like the box character in Logan's Run is he?

I don't recall the Logan's run character, but I doubt it. Box is his nickname. He's an ex-soldier and the hero's best friend.

eta: I googled Logan's run and the answer is definitely a no.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Now that is Snerk worthy...



God that is so true... but then again, I'm still doing both so I guess I get the best of both words. I just find me editing my stories differently for lit than I used to.

I don't know how you're keeping up with both! But you always were more prolific than I was! LOL

I write/edit differently now, too... I write for the editor, a lot of times, now... to avoid having to go back and make changes... although there are things I write I KNOW will be contended, and I often go to bat for those things...

I used the word "calligraphied" in Blind Date, and there was a lot of debate about that word (which technically, isn't one)... I won.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

*snerk*

I know what you mean... I missed Lit SO MUCH when I first started publishing... days of submitting without too much editing, whatever I wanted, however I wanted to write it... *sigh*

Is it any wonder that I have no desire to be published? You and DK make me happy that I just write for enjoyment.

 

[Guest]

I don't know how you're keeping up with both! But you always were more prolific than I was! LOL

I write/edit differently now, too... I write for the editor, a lot of times, now... to avoid having to go back and make changes... although there are things I write I KNOW will be contended, and I often go to bat for those things...

I used the word "calligraphied" in Blind Date, and there was a lot of debate about that word (which technically, isn't one)... I won.

Good for you...my editor wanted me to add codpieces to the story. I said..no way in hell...lol.

And I guess if you had ten hours a day with not much to do to fill them, you'd be more prolific too. My second teenager just went home to her mother in Mass, the girl in pink in my av and my sister is finishing up school and then will be taking off for a couple of weeks up north. Two weeks no kids, and maybe I can ship hubby off to spend time golfing or something. Sigh...

 

[drksideofthemoon]

I don't know how you're keeping up with both! But you always were more prolific than I was! LOL

I write/edit differently now, too... I write for the editor, a lot of times, now... to avoid having to go back and make changes... although there are things I write I KNOW will be contended, and I often go to bat for those things...

I used the word "calligraphied" in Blind Date, and there was a lot of debate about that word (which technically, isn't one)... I won.

I don't know if I could do that, write for the editor. I see my story in my mind, and for good or bad, I won't compromise that vision.

 

[MarshAlien]

So I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring and ask what people think of my stuff. If you click on the roaring kitty in my sig line, it'll take you to my story page. Have at it... All constructive criticism is welcome...

Oh and I should have chapter two of Giselle coming out soon, plus a new story that a fan of mine asked for in the mature category, something new for me. It's called Ivy. I also have two chapters of my latest Hunter story coming out soon.

Rose, kiss, heart. Make me gag. You want us to read every frickin' story on that page and give you feedback???? Here's some feedback. One of your poems is missing an H. Fortunately, there are three other poems and 264 stories. Frankly, I'm surprised there are any H's left for anybody else.

This thread did have one redeeming quality. It was the first place I got to see Selena's new AV.

 

[Guest]

I don't know if I could do that, write for the editor. I see my story in my mind, and for good or bad, I won't compromise that vision.

Yes, and after I make my first million, then I'll tell them how I want my books published...lol. $999,050 to go...sigh.

I have a brother who made his money writing for newspapers. He now is an editor and he writes for a bunch of magazines, doing all the articles about the Comic book movies, like Fantastic Four and Spiderman. He's been to all the premieres, met the big shot actors and writes what he wants now. He can do that, he has a following.

Sigh, oh to be talented...