feedback

[Ocktune]

I 'd appreciate any feedback from my first submission "Sam Similie Private Dick, Double D Danger" thanks
Ocktune

 

[Octavian]

don't forget to post a link

Ocktune
You won't get much feedback without a link.
Here it is:

Sam Similie Private Dick, etc

Octavian

 

[Octavian]

feedback for your story

Well, Ocktune I have read it despite the problem with the text of your story overrunning the designated area. (I solved the problem by downloading the story and then deleting the folder that accompanied it.)

It took a while to get into it but it was worth the effort and there are some good lines in it.

There are a number of colloquialisms and you lost this (English) reader on more than one occasion.

I can't say I was attracted to the style of writing but as it is meant to be a satire I imagine that the clipped tone was deliberate. I have read Micky Spillane but that was so many years ago I cannot accurately recall his style of writing. I assume it would not be that dissimilar to that which you portrayed here.

I think you rather overdid the woodpecker analogy and there were a couple of typos; 'queryed' instead of 'queried' springs to mind.

Overall it was a good effort and I look forward to reading more from you.

Octavian

 

[Ocktune]

Thank you for your response. I seem to have few navigational skills here as a matter of fact I'm lost.I seem to be blundering about I have no, no idea what I'm doing, unfortunately this seems to be a theme in my life as well,. but thank you.

 

[Ocktune]

help me

how must I post a link.?

 

[sweetnpetite]

bump

 

[CrownJoolz]

Re: help me

how must I post a link.?

Well, until you've figured out how to navigate the site, the easiest way is to go to your story, copy the url address, and paste it into a post.

Joolz