Feedback would be much appreciated

[Sengoku]

So I got a feedback E-mail from somebody telling me I made an error in my story, a pretty noticeable one, but one I missed when proof-reading. The thing that put me on a downer was this person saying I need a "a proof reader, spell checker, and a grammer coach." (Hold on, I just noticed this dude misspelled the word grammar, that makes me feel a whole lot better. )

I admit, if you look back on my past stories, my grammar sucked. But I worked hard to get it to an acceptable level. It's nowhere near being great, probably never will be, but I want to get it to a level where it doesn't hinder the story.

So, I would like some general feedback to my most recent story, because I don't want to keep repeating the same mistakes and never improving. I'm at your mercy, here is my most recent story.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=487141

A few notes on it firstly. It may be in the Celebrities section, but it really should be in the Incest/Taboo category, so you been forewarned. Oh and discredit the line, "The fact he was over ten years older than her, closer to my age than hers, made it all the more hotter." That's the error I made.

If any of you want feedback in the future, I'll be more than glad to help, though I'm sure many of you are a lot better than me, so I don't know how much help I would be.

 

[driphoney]

So I got a feedback E-mail from somebody telling me I made an error in my story, a pretty noticeable one, but one I missed when proof-reading. The thing that put me on a downer was this person saying I need a "a proof reader, spell checker, and a grammer coach." (Hold on, I just noticed this dude misspelled the word grammar, that makes me feel a whole lot better. )

OMG!! I think I know this grammer fiend!

 

[nerk]

In all seriousness, I would pay little attention to the grammar police unless they offer to proofread for you. Most of the time, they're just working through their psychological issues by being abusive and petty online. This is an amateur site for amateur writing, and while there are professional writers and editors here, most of us are merely human and out to enjoy a good read, or write.

 

[Sengoku]

In all seriousness, I would pay little attention to the grammar police unless they offer to proofread for you. Most of the time, they're just working through their psychological issues by being abusive and petty online. This is an amateur site for amateur writing, and while there are professional writers and editors here, most of us are merely human and out to enjoy a good read, or write.

Totally agree.. I've had errors pointed out to me before, but these guys did it in a non-dickish way. It always sucks to see i screwed up, yet this guy said I needed a whole re-write due to one error he found. I gave him a polite response, asking for any other errors he found. I don't expect a reply.

 

[driphoney]

In all seriousness, I would pay little attention to the grammar police unless they offer to proofread for you. Most of the time, they're just working through their psychological issues by being abusive and petty online. This is an amateur site for amateur writing, and while there are professional writers and editors here, most of us are merely human and out to enjoy a good read, or write.

Excellent post.

Totally agree.. I've had errors pointed out to me before, but these guys did it in a non-dickish way. It always sucks to see i screwed up, yet this guy said I needed a whole re-write due to one error he found. I gave him a polite response, asking for any other errors he found. I don't expect a reply.

Good response.

I'll give you a read and comment when I'm having a better day. Today wouldn't be fair to you.

 

[Sengoku]

Thank you so much.

 

[KillerMuffin]

I see a metric ton of punctuation errors and the "bonor" misspelling was gigglish, but srsly, other than the rabid grammar vigilantes, who the hell cares? It's not like you're getting a grade on this. Let 'em throw on their Batcapes and chase evildoers. Just keep up with the writing and the having of the fun, 'cause that's what's important.

 

[PAUL C]

sorry

I found it over-long and a little boring.

it didn't flow for me.

that said, I'm sure some will love it.

I am useless at punctuation and spelling. well I'm constantly being told the latter until I tell them to set their spell checker to English English. I have been known to try and get away with punctuation errors by saying that's what we do over here.

then I gave up caring what people thought and hoped they took my stories for what they are. good, clean, dirty, fun.

hi Killer. I see they let you out at last.

 

[sr71plt]

I'm a professional editor, and I've never seen perfect copy--haven't even produced any perfect copy myself, as a writer or editor. There are always going to be an error or two--and there are going to be things done correctly (or having taken one of multiple legitimate choices) that will be seen as an error by some reader. I say if a reader can't just read through a few instances of what they see as minor technical errors (as opposed to major content inconsistencies), then screw 'em. I have an Amazon review or two by someone who rates a book very low on the basis of a typo on page two where they stopped reading. That just means they're too anal retentive and aren't willing to invest any effort themselves.

Of course, when the errors are so plentiful and close together and blantant to intrude seriously on the flow of the read, they've gone too far.

 

[Sengoku]

I found it over-long and a little boring.

it didn't flow for me.

that said, I'm sure some will love it.

That's ok, I knew going in that a pro-wrestling based semi-incest story was not going to be to everyone's liking. . I thank you for taking a look at it.

I am useless at punctuation and spelling. well I'm constantly being told the latter until I tell them to set their spell checker to English English. I have been known to try and get away with punctuation errors by saying that's what we do over here.

then I gave up caring what people thought and hoped they took my stories for what they are. good, clean, dirty, fun.

I too use the Queen's English. That shall be my new excuse.