Feedback wanted for my new piece

[Flashlight7.5]

I'm hoping for some feedback on my new piece, "Walter's Alignment." It's received good public feedback so far, but I'm always on the look-out for more thoughts about it.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=336894

Thanks in advance.

flash

 

[mjl2010]

Apparently from the public comments already left, this chakras thinger-me-jinger is something real.

Your story is jerky at times. It was interesting though. A couple of times I just chuckled.

You need an editor. I'd suggest the Editors Forum but...you've probably been there.

All in all, very interesting. All I need now is Devi to come align my um...chakras or whatever it was. yeah.

MJL

 

[elfin_odalisque]

deleted - made a mistake.