Feedback to my stories

[DiggerDave]

Hi,

I have recently started writing stories for Lit a couple of months ago, and have been enjoying it.

I recently got some very negative public comments as I had placed a story with a bias towards cuckolding in the 'Loving wifes' section.

Most of my stories are 'cream pie' based and placed in the 'fetish' section.

If anyone has time to look at my work let me know what you think.

I don't know how to link so you will have to do an author search for DIGGERDAVE.

Thanks.

 

[blackpenblueink]

It's a good idea

to provide the link in your post. That makes it easier and it's not difficult.
Going to look for your work.

My first story is below.

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=187599

 

[Alexis Haines]

First Story Review

Wooo-hoooo! Lusty! I loved the red panties part... actually, I liked that you both initiated playful situations. May I make a suggestion? I hope you're not offended and I realize the weekend was personal to you, but I think you've got some fantastic scenes you could develop into a fictional story.

What if the server realized you were fingering Melina? What expression would she read on his face, and how would she react? (I'm thinking of a fork 'accidentally' dropped for him to pick up.) Could the check out girl have briefly glimpsed the game and, if so, would her eyes have widened and would she have blushed?

How about the walk to the grocery store? And from the parking lot to the lobby? Were these leisurely strolls under revealing streetlights, and did anyone pass you? What if some conversation had been initiated ('could you tell me the time?'), would there have been a chance for a peek? Or maybe no conversation, just someone to watch a long, loving kiss (somewhere nice!) with Melina watching back.

And (if this isn't truly going too far) if you wrote this in the third person, then would you have known that the server stopped by on his way home to pick up his girlfriend at the grocery store and, "Oh my God, you'll never guess what I saw tonight!", "Yeah? Oh wow, maybe they were the same people I saw?", and then they go to his place and...

Hope this is OK...

It's not a loving wives story, but if you feel like commenting on my first story you'll find it at The Peek-Chique Account

Thanks for a great read!
AH

 

[Reverse_Cowboy]

I have read a couple of your stroies...

I found them to be pretty good. It just comes down to there being jerks out there that like to slam writers for whatever reasons. Most of the time they don't even have the nerve to post an email address and send it anonymously. I think it happens to us all regardless of how good your story may be. Don't let them get to you.