feedback & suggestions

[TheMuseViolet]

Hi all,

I have three stories...would appreciate some feedback...like it, hate it, critique it; whatever takes your fancy really.

If you happened to read all 3, my main question is any ideas or suggestions as to a fourth story and where I should take it?

Should I even attempt a fourth story in this series or perhaps try something different?

Thanks in advance.

Violet the Muse.
xx

(okay...apparently there was a problem with the links below...thank you inkstain for letting me know Hopefully I've fixed whatever the problem is...i've clicked on the links below just to make sure that I was taken to the stories, and since I was, I'm now going to assume that it works.... if it doesn't work, I apologise in advance and can any 1 help out in getting a link up that works. Chapter 1 and 3 can be found in the Group Sex category and chapter 2 in the Erotic Coupling section.)

Courtesan of Rome: ch 1

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=177607

Courtesan of Rome: ch 2

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=179449

Courtesan of Rome: ch 3

http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=182594

 

[inkstain]

hello violet! I think there is a problem with the links.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

I melted when I read 'the colour of singed papyrus' in paragraph 3.. continuing to read... will report back if I can.

 

[Rainbow Skin]

'Eros was in the room'... my skin and hair lift off the bone, as the numen descends in fire... you're a proper classicist, aren't you?

 

[Rainbow Skin]

'raw with a grainy dust that lay heavy on the air' --- I love these phrases you come up with. I can't tell you how much I love that phrase, how much it cries out writer.

And you are a devotee of the Tenth Muse. You quote Sappho: and you are trying to convey, and succeeding in conveying, what the greatest of all poets brought to us. The fire I felt in earlier parts is deliberate: you have felt the fire and want to transmit it.

I like the way you slightly modernize: the names are natural; it is clearly the Roman Empire but what you are bringing out is a similarity to today. No archaism here, but no blurring of the historical details either.

You can do anything you want with this series. It is stunningly beautiful writing, and it is overwhelmingly erotic with it.

 

[TheMuseViolet]

Rainbow Skin,

Thank you.... thank you for your feedback and your compliments.


> I like the way you slightly modernize: the names are natural; it is clearly the Roman Empire but what you are bringing out is a similarity to today. No archaism here, but no blurring of the historical details either.<

I debated whether or not to include the 'historically correct' phrases etc, if I was still writing for my Classics lecturer I probably would have left them in moreso ( since she demanded realism in all my papers on the lives of the Romans or Greeks ... which is where the first story actually was created...minus the sex scenes though).


If you like Sappho as much as I do...have you read Ovid? Both his Metamorphoses and Erotic Poetry is magically vivid, brilliant and breath-taking.


Violet the muse.
xx