Feedback Requested: Romantic BDSM Ghost Story. No Sex.

[MichaelStJohn]

Waaa? Why would I ever think of writing such a thing or even think that it belongs on Literotica?! Well, it says what it is on the box. It's an extremely short read - just over 750 words. Everyone I know who has read it has cried. And, as the author, I, too, have cried writing it.

So, isn't that validation enough? Well, no. Because it's experimental in style, I wanted to get someone with a critical eye to look at it and tell me how it could have been better. Nobody I've shown it to has given me good feedback. Sooo... please, let me know what you think!

Still Remains: https://www.literotica.com/s/still-remains

 

[ElectricBlue]

Very short stories are always problematic on Lit. Readers generally want something longer, because arousal takes a little more time.

Having said that, this story is effective as flash fiction - an interesting premise, and the twist at the end works. You could fiddle around the edges but that wouldn't change much - it's not the story that's the issue, it's just that the readers don't really want flash. It's Literotica after all, not Litflash or Litshort.