Feedback, please?

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

I would absolutely love some feedback if anyone cares to share. Someone out there must enjoy Hot Romance! I would really love to know if anyone has enjoyed my revised work and my newest story, Summers. Let's not be shy...Please? I want it, I need it, I crave it! Ok,I am groveling, what can I say?

*Winks* KitKat

The Fantasy

The Cabin One

The Cabin Two

Summer's Day


[Edited by Katerina Val-Kyrie on 01-29-2001 at 08:37 AM]

 

[christo]

Feeeeedback

I posted a thread asking for feedback and haven't received a single response yet, so when I read this one I figured I should read your stories and respond to them and maybe get folks looking at mine. Karmic harmony and all that sort of thing.

The sex scenes, the descriptions of the actual acts, are really good. Sexy, sloppy, sticky stuff. And the writing is good, it flows very well. I especially liked the scene in "Summer's Day" with Dezerae and Brad, him watching her and masturbating. Very hot indeed.

What I think is missing somewhat from the stories is context. Before each story is a brief introduction explaining what's about to heppen in the story, and instead of doing that maybe you could set the scene in the story itself. I like reading stories where I'm surprised at what happens, or the situation the characters find themselves in, and if you tell us before the story starts what's going to happen, it takes away the surprise.

I like that you're writing stories with a romantic angle. I'm trying to steer more of my stories in that direction. Keep 'em coming!

 

[CAT~~]

Hi,
Just finished reading Summer Day. It was fun to read but I have to agree with Christo. The opening paragraph kind of kills any desire to read the rest of the story because you have a pretty good idea what is going to happen in the story.
Once I got past that and read the story...I found that it was most engaging and kept my attention quite nicely. *Grin*
Honestly, I did enjoy reading your story and think you if leave out the explanation in the beginning of the story and incorporate it along the way within the story it will flow better.
Cat~~

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

christo and CAT, thank you so much for taking the time to read my work, I truly appreaciate it. I am glad you enjoyed them even though I hinted at some happenings in my author's notes.

The reason I started with author's notes, is because two of my stories have different fonts and I wanted to make the tenses, dream and reality clear to my readers.

I suppose I was also thinking of when you read a regular book and how it shares a hint of the story. When I buy a book, I like having an idea what it is about or I won't buy it. The story has to appeal to me. I was trying to be very careful to only share a hint, but perhaps I shared abit to much. Oh well, live and learn I suppose.

Glad you enjoyed them though...thanks again. Hugs KitKat

 

[NCmVoyeur]

The Fantasy

I was pleased to see the stylistic approach you used with "The Fantasy." I love differences in type. I think it adds a visual dimension to the story. It is a technique which I use in 3 of my stories ("Atonement," "First Touch," and "Reminiscences")to delineate flashbacks, mental thoughts, etc.

I also love stories which explore not just the action which is 'in the camera lens,' so to speak, but which also explore the infinite erotic realm which is the mind of the character.

 

[NCmVoyeur]

Author Notes

I forgot to mention. I also include notes for each of my stories. I think it's a fun way to give the reader some additional insight into the story. Though I include them as a separate page. In most cases, I like the reader to read the story with a fresh mindset, without pre-conceptions.

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

NCmVoyeur, thanks so much for your postive comments on my writing. I value all feedback, good or bad. I have had many tell me, they like the flashback, dream sequences. Also, delving into the characters mind definitely makes them more real, at least I think so. I think that is why I enjoy a book so much more than a movie, because it allows you to delve into their minds.

Hugs KitKat

[Edited by Katerina Val-Kyrie on 02-24-2001 at 02:36 AM]

 

[ManofMithgar]

The Cabin

If you are wanting to warm your heart along with your thighs, this is a couple of stories you need to read. And they will warm your thighs for sure!

 

[Merelan]

The Fantasy

Wow, you really have a way with imagery don't you? I like the back and forth storyline. Yet, at the end, it was sad. as the feeling
of self loving often brings on. The loneliness. But I liked it very much.

The Cabin Part 1
Again, your way with words drew a perfect picture...the floral couch, the way the light shone... very good.
Where is this cabin? I would like to buy it.
"They tenderly kissed, holding each other amongst the pillows as the embers in
the fire slowly died out."
Not their flame though.

Cabin 2
Ending it with, it is now lunchtime. Whew. Makes me think about what they are going to have for lunch. Now I just have to figure
out a way for him to come home and find me acting like that, and get him to respond like that. Maybe I should go practise now.

Summers Day

" Ante felt an annoying itch underneath his shirt and reached up to scratch it. To
his chagrin, he found the tag of his T-shirt. He had to laugh; he was wearing it
backwards. Wryly, he did a quick check to make sure his shorts were indeed on
the right way. "
Hey, we have all done this haven't we? Please tell me others have?

Hahaha....

"To make matters worse, the trucker slowed down at the bottom of the hill,
coming to a complete stop. There was nowhere to go but straight ahead.
Keeping his eyes averted, Ante tried to ignore the big burly man giving him the
thumbs up signal as he slowly passed. Finally, he gave the trucker a sheepish
grin, as if to say, "What can I do?"

I wonder if that was our Thumper?
Always wanted to get "caught" by a trucker like that. Give them a thrill. Will have to take inspiration from them and try again, as
soon as it gets warm out.

Over all I think I am in love with them. I like the little blurb at the beginning. It didn't spoil the scene at all. Not one bit. Now,
where is that Ante?
Please tell me these are in fact true to life? Even if you have to lie to me about it. this is really just snippets of your sex life isn't it?

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

Feedback below from Author of The Mountain.

Hi Kat,

Read Summer's Day and loved it! Your writing is seamless. Nothing gets in the way of becoming fully engrossed by Ante and Dezerae's lovemaking. Very hot! I kept expecting the truck driver to be watching in the bushes though (heh heh - I do have a dirty mind!) As I mentioned in the post, a good romantic erotic tale is never boring - and yours most certainly was not. I gave it 5! I must admit that because your writing is so good I am even more flattered that you appreaciated The Mountain. I will look forward to reading the rest of the Ante and Dezerae stories

Happy writing, Sylvia

Slyvia, thank you so much for your wonderful feedback on Summer's Day. I do hope you enjoy my other three as well. This line, "I must admit because your writing is so good, I am even more flattered that you appreaciated The Mountain" made me smile. Thank you. But you know, I am just an amateur also, and I think you write just as well. As a matter of fact, I think you write beautifully. Just because it is your first story submitted, does not mean you should rate yourself any lower than I, or anyone else on Literotica for that matter. We are all unique in our own way. Each one of us gets swept off into our own little world, and through our written word, we share it with others. Even though your story was on the darkside, I still enjoyed it, because it was so incredibly well written.

Since I began to write, I have learned so much, and through reading other people's stories, I only learn more. Even when I read a book now, I see it in a whole different light. I learn as I read...and I pay alot more attention. I enjoy reading a well written story, and I thank you for sharing yours.

Hugs KitKat


ManofMithgar, so glad my stories warmed your thighs.

Originally posted by Merelan


Please tell me they are in fact true to life? Even if you have to lie to me about it. This is really just snippets of your sex life isn't it?

Hmmmm, now that would be my secret now, wouldn't it?
*Evil grins*

Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback Merelan. There must have been something about this couple you liked, to read all four stories! I truly appreaciate that you took the time to read them. I am a romantic at heart and enjoy sharing my passionate side. So, being that I am a romantic, I suppose Dezerae does in fact exist, at least a part of her does. I like to think I am a little bit like her. : ) Now, Ante on the other hand...hmmm, he is my secret...

Wow, I just saw Summer's went to the top list, along with The Fantasy in the Romance section! Thanks to everyone who voted for me. Hopefully, my Cabin stories will be there soon. : )

Hugs Katerina

 

[Todd]

the Cabin Ch. 1

I am not technical professor and good writing gets dry but you have mamanaged to perform what I call a perfect tempo of raiing the action slowing it, alomost like a good blow job

i enjoyed it and give it one full hardon and one full orgasm a perfect score

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

Ummmm, thank you Todd...what an interesting rating system. I am glad you enjoyed The Cabin. Please do check out my others...Hugs KitKat

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

Whew, almost disappeared to the bottom! Can't be letting that happen now...Hmmmm, anyone reading romance? I promise you won't be disappointed...

Hugs KitKat

 

[Katerina Val-Kyrie]

Mmmmm, all the way back to the bottom again. This is not good, not good at all. Lets try this once more shall we? Is anybody out there? Hellooooo?

KitKat



[Edited by Katerina Val-Kyrie on 03-22-2001 at 10:36 PM]