Feedback Please - A Whole New Life

[Sinstories]

I took into account feedback from a previous submission and think this is better, like to get opinions...

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-whole-new-life-1

Story is about a man who has separated from his wife after catching her with the neighbor. He meets a college friend of his estranged wife who has an old grudge to settle with her as well. Theme I was trying to convey is one of two people finding something they did not expect or even know they were missing. I feel like it has potential to be go many directions from here.....

TIA

 

[Sinstories]

Second installment.....

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-whole-new-life-ch-02

 

[8letters]

My thoughts:
* I liked the premise and the writing, but I didn't find it interesting
* I didn't find either character particularly likeable
** The guy I know is suppose to be feeling miserable, but he could least fight the misery. Show some sense of humor. Show some personality. Show him try to push past the pain
** The woman was barely introduced before she suggested they fuck. She's dressed up in a hotel bar to have sex with a married man? Not the most sympathetic of characters
* As I didn't care about the characters, I didn't find the sex arousing. I was more interested in the texts to the wife

My biggest suggestion would be to have greatly expanded the time from when they meet to when they decide to have sex. Let the tension build and the chemistry develop.

Just my thoughts. Hope that helps.

 

[8letters]

Second installment.....

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-whole-new-life-ch-02

I enjoyed the second installment much more than the first. It was a very nice romance story. Tania was an interesting character that I liked. Dave had transformed into an interesting person. Stories where the guy is massively endowed don't do much for me, so that part was a drawback. At the same time, you handled it well so it came across caring.

I'd say the biggest flaw of the story is that it has lots of boring parts in the beginning. Yes, it was good to see that Dave was a changed man. Him taking a shower and having breakfast at the diner were pedestrian and did nothing to advance the plot.

 

[Audrey DA Hottie]

will look for more from you!