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duckandbunny79
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robertreams
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Be careful what you ask for. The vultures are circling.
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duckandbunny79
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DevilInDetail
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??
What do you mean?
Are the literary giants about to pronounce judgement?
He's probably referring to the fact that stories in this genre typically attract the 'wrath' of silly hateful troll types.
Not true at all. The story was posted in the fetish section and got a good score as a result. If it was posted under loving wives I expect the score to be lower.
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countryboy001
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Interesting read
Duck and bunny,
That was enjoyable and at times hot--somewhat more the first half, because of the teasing.
On the positive side, its plot is a bit unusual; you managed some surprises in a very cliche'd area.
I guess one problem area was Steffi's cruely and our hero's reaction to it. He loses his erection, then has to get back into it. I wonder if he isn't a bit too involved with the husband and his 'plight,' engineered though it is.
I did like our hero's effort to turn the tables a bit, withold, fuck her ass (almost) and so on.
I think the problem here is that Steffi is rather uncomplicated, with this ravenous, 'put your cock in my cunt' approach. A little complexity would help. A little less 'having her way,' at every turn. Possibly some area of vulnerability? I suppose she's just too much the superbitch to be entirely attractive and hot for me. Apart from literature, real life persons have various facets.
Since you're looking for something a little fresh, that's something going for you. Some more characterization would be nice, and some indirectness, teasing and delay, in the action. The start with the blow job was a step in that direction.
Duck and bunny,
That was enjoyable and at times hot--somewhat more the first half, because of the teasing.
On the positive side, its plot is a bit unusual; you managed some surprises in a very cliche'd area.
I guess one problem area was Steffi's cruely and our hero's reaction to it. He loses his erection, then has to get back into it. I wonder if he isn't a bit too involved with the husband and his 'plight,' engineered though it is.
I did like our hero's effort to turn the tables a bit, withold, fuck her ass (almost) and so on.
I think the problem here is that Steffi is rather uncomplicated, with this ravenous, 'put your cock in my cunt' approach. A little complexity would help. A little less 'having her way,' at every turn. Possibly some area of vulnerability? I suppose she's just too much the superbitch to be entirely attractive and hot for me. Apart from literature, real life persons have various facets.
Since you're looking for something a little fresh, that's something going for you. Some more characterization would be nice, and some indirectness, teasing and delay, in the action. The start with the blow job was a step in that direction.
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