Feedback on my futa story.

[SexualisPhantasia]

Hi everyone, I started publishing here in June of last year, buy this is my first post in this forum, Kim's erotic adventures is the story of a young futa and her friends, it's a prequel to my two other longer stories.

“This story will provide the background for future stories that are interconnected within my fictional world of erotica. One of the purposes of this story is to explore how young futa's find their place in the world, and how they fit into the society of my fictional world of erotica.“

My stories always seem to do well, but I don't receive many comments. So I am open to suggestions and constructive feedback. Thanks much!


This is the first chapter of five.


https://www.literotica.com/s/kims-erotic-adventures

 

[AlinaX]

They were in Kathryn's office, on her white leather couch. They were both naked except for their stockings and high heels. Kim grabbed her long, red hair and held her close against her bronzed, buxom chest. Kathryn's long, thick shaft impaled her round, firm ass with every thrust. Kim's asshole gripped her tight, squeezing her boss's long, throbbing futa cock as she squashed her thighs against hers. Kathryn's sensual lips sucked Kim's 12" cock as Kim fucked her well-oiled tits.

Kathryn is fucking Kim's ass while simultaneously Kim is fucking Kathryn's tits? And meanwhile Kathryn's face is buried in Kim's tits and she's able to suck on Kim's cock? I'm lost. This is the opening to the story and already I have no idea what is going on.

Honestly. Slow down. You don't have to dive straight into the deep end, and if you do it's probably best not to describe what sounds like competitive sex between professional contortionists.

 

[SexualisPhantasia]

They were in Kathryn's office, on her white leather couch. They were both naked except for their stockings and high heels. Kim grabbed her long, red hair and held her close against her bronzed, buxom chest. Kathryn's long, thick shaft impaled her round, firm ass with every thrust. Kim's asshole gripped her tight, squeezing her boss's long, throbbing futa cock as she squashed her thighs against hers. Kathryn's sensual lips sucked Kim's 12" cock as Kim fucked her well-oiled tits.

Kathryn is fucking Kim's ass while simultaneously Kim is fucking Kathryn's tits? And meanwhile Kathryn's face is buried in Kim's tits and she's able to suck on Kim's cock? I'm lost. This is the opening to the story and already I have no idea what is going on.

Honestly. Slow down. You don't have to dive straight into the deep end, and if you do it's probably best not to describe what sounds like competitive sex between professional contortionists.

She's sitting in Kathryn's lap. It's not that complicated.

 

[AlinaX]

It seems highly impractical, and is hard to visualise, and certainly puts me off reading any further.
(You did ask for feedback.)