Feedback on my first story, if you'd be so kind.

[FirstErotic]

I would greatly appreciate any feedback readers would be available to give on my first story, "Matt and Michelle". The category is Incest/Taboo. I started the story with the characters developed as neighbors/best friends who grew up together, but adapted it as siblings because it seems as though that kind of story is much more popular on the site.

I'm a little frustrated with the few grammatical errors I didn't catch until after upload. Please forgive those, but don't necessarily feel the need to go easy on me.

Anyway, thanks in advance if you're willing to take a few minutes to read it.

http://www.literotica.com/s/matt-and-michelle

 

[Albell90]

This was a really good story! I loved the beginning because you could sense this guys frustration. I also adored his personality once he realized the object of his affections. He was almost awkward with her around and it made him seem like a normal every day person would be in this situation. It made him very likeable. I loved how your conversations flowed, and that once he admitted his feelings for his sister, it was an instant escalation. Not to mention you have a way with sex scenes. Keep at it! I just posted my first story as well but it's still pending. :\ Have a good one!

-Albell

 

[FirstErotic]

Thanks Albell for your note.


Does anyone else have time to do a quick read? I'm about to submit a second story (different genre) but would love some feedback on this one. Particularly if it is critical.

The only thing remotely resembling critique that I've gotten has been someone's remark in the actual story's comments section that it was "too crude", and I don't find that to be very helpful.

Thanks.

 

[bumblegrum]

Hi FirstErotic I've just finished reading Matt & Michelle and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I left the following comment at the story site:

"I just can't understand how anyone could find this "too crude." I thought it was a delightful start to what could be a whole series, and I look forward to Chapter 2. A well crafted story, good plot, believable characters with enough sexual tension to create an exciting climax (pun intended). Definitely a 5. Many thanks, just keep going."

Regrettably, there are too many idiots who simply appear to be illiterate - they certainly don't understand good writing, and yours is good. For a first effort, it deserves nothing but compliments.

From a critique POV, if you are guarded about grammar, picky about punctuation or suspicious about spelling, I strongly recommend that you contact one of the volunteer editors and get them to check out your work, from a technical point of view. Yes, it does take a little longer, but I have found it is very worthwhile.

There is a list of Volunteer Editors on the Lit site; I suggest you check a few of them out and read one or two stories by editors who you might find compatible. If you like their stories, you'll probably find that you can work well with them as editors. It's also worth remembering that you don't HAVE to accept their recommendations, but, from a technical point of view they are often really valuable.

Thank you for Matt & Michelle - I'm looking forward to Chapter 2.

 

[FirstErotic]

Thanks Bumble. I'm going to find an editor for the next one.

 

[Dragonlipz]

Your work is very good – combining a very readable style with a conversational delivery that accentuates the first person…..I think you have some future as a writer and will continue to improve (couldn’t we all?) but I’m not into the incest genre –

 

[FirstErotic]

Your work is very good – combining a very readable style with a conversational delivery that accentuates the first person…..I think you have some future as a writer and will continue to improve (couldn’t we all?) but I’m not into the incest genre –

Thanks for taking the time. I know the genre isn't everyone's cup of tea.

 

[Andromeda7]

I would greatly appreciate any feedback readers would be available to give on my first story, "Matt and Michelle". The category is Incest/Taboo. I started the story with the characters developed as neighbors/best friends who grew up together, but adapted it as siblings because it seems as though that kind of story is much more popular on the site.

I'm a little frustrated with the few grammatical errors I didn't catch until after upload. Please forgive those, but don't necessarily feel the need to go easy on me.

Anyway, thanks in advance if you're willing to take a few minutes to read it.

http://www.literotica.com/s/matt-and-michelle

Well written, flows. Good story, not my usual subject but you can write. Keep up the good work.

 

[FirstErotic]

Well written, flows. Good story, not my usual subject but you can write. Keep up the good work.

Thanks Andromeda7. The genre is very new to me, even as a fan.

 

[FirstErotic]

For anyone interested, I put up the 2nd chapter. I uploaded before I remembered that I should have asked an editor for some help. I'll try to get my act together for the third installment.