feedback on erotic story 'sinful pleasure'

[susimol_2000]

hi all,
how about some feedback on my latest effort 'sinful pleasure'.
brickbats and bouquets both welcome.
u could even email me directly at susimol_2000@sify.com
susan.




http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=37267

 

[rigged4dive]

I liked it. It took a bit of getting used to, but after the first paragraph or two, I found the pseudo-fairytale style to be thoroughly engaging.

If you're not actually from India, I'm doubly impressed. The syntax and phrasing was outstanding.

 

[susimol_2000]

thanks for comments

thanks very much for the encouraging comments. i must however tell you that i am from india - from the southern state of kerala - most people in the states and europe are unaware that this part of india has large section of christians. therefore the name susan .
thanks again.
susan.

 

[Guest]

very arousing

excellent story my dear. it got me deeply aroused. however you will find it does not strike a chord with our friends from the west. it's got too much of a subcontinental flavour.
however keep writing.
sandeep jain.

 

[Guest]

grow up

nonsense! why bring the east/west angle in this. if a story is good it would have universal appeal.
you guys out there really have a penchant for dragging in the racism bit at the slightest provocation.
personally i found the story and the settings rather contrived.
ray stevens.
israel.

 

[susimol_2000]

please please

It’s a real pity that a simple request for feedback has degenerated into a slanging match. It’s my earnest plea to everyone to just give me feedback on the story if you desire otherwise just forget that this thread existed.

 

[whitey115]

story

It was a vey hot story that had me rock hard by the end

 

[Softstone]

Wow,What a story

I enjoyed it very much even giving it a five,
It seems I found myself in your story, Not that I am Indian or ever been to India, However you have taken me there in the best way possible sexual.
I Love a Little story with sex, It make the sex better.

If you like to you may go check out my latest story it's called
Hot Air Balloon Ride

 

[susimol_2000]

you lovely people

Softstone & Whitey115 -- You lovely people! I could really kiss you for the wonderfully encouraging comments on my story. There are a few more of mine under the name Susimol. I wonder if these are also appealing?
Anyway thanks a ton once again. It will really help in my future efforts.


http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=2174
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=2175
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=6037
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=4847

 

[chrisfromlondon]

Indian Story

Hi Susan,

I really enjoyed your story. I have been to India a few times but never had the opportunity of making love to an Indian woman there - maybe next time. But I have been to a number of the places including Pune and Madras. I preferred Madras to Pune.

I liked the way the lady's inhibitions fell away.

One or two points that might help:

I think the preamble to the sex was a bit long. That is a fault I have in my stories; I get carried away with the story and forget to get on with the best bits!

One or two of the paragraphs were very long.

Your language is a bit quaint to an English eye. I think this is very charming but not everyone will. Hope this helps.
Keep up the great work! Chris

 

[susimol_2000]

thanks chris

chris,
thanks for the feedback and the constructive criticism. i shall certainly make note of it.
i do realise that my style of english would not be trendy but this is a handicap we have to live with in this part of the world.
hope you realise your dream of 'getting to know' an indian woman when you next visit india.
regards.
susan.

 

[sukumar_nair]

lovely sunday start

Susi you lovely girl,
You story really made my Sunday morning a beautiful, horny one. What a steaming hot story.
I found myself so aroused that I had to do something about it. I liked your earlier stories as well.
Keep writing you sexy thing.
Love.
Sukumar

 

[Guest]

literotica a truly global sex site

well done susan! great story. very arousing.
it's people like you who will encourage folks from different corners of the world to write and express their feelings through their stories making literotica a global site in it's true sense. it will also spur more women to contribute.
keep writing.
sureshini.
colombo.

 

[susimol_2000]

thanks sukumar& sureshini

thanks a million for your comments. sureshini, i am fully with you. i hope more people from different countries start posting stories here which will give us a flavour of sex in different parts of the world.
susan.

 

[Keta]

Re: please please

It’s a real pity that a simple request for feedback has degenerated into a slanging match. It’s my earnest plea to everyone to just give me feedback on the story if you desire otherwise just forget that this thread existed.

i agree. anyway i like the story. its was different but still very very enjoyable

 

[susimol_2000]

thanks keta

thanks for your feedback keta. hope u like my other stories as well.
susan.

 

[Guest]

horny lady

hi mol,
excellent stories all of them. you seem to be one hell of a horny lady. i wish i could get to know you.
deepak.
india.