Feedback from all would be good!

[madamefifi]

Hi all,

I was wondering if I could get some feedback on these two stories before pushing on with any more.

Thanks very much....hope to hear from you soon

Madamefifi



http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=92012
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=92809

 

[iris38]

ch 4

I liked Ch 4 much better. The "Madame" character had a bit of depth, the description of the setting was nice.

The sex of course was quite hot, but I'm not sure I totally bought into Sophie's accepting Jack emotionally and sexually, as she did in the story.

Perhaps more insight into Jack, and Sophie, some "mental monologues" might help the reader to understand why they still loved each other. Or maybe, it's just lust.


Iris

 

[madamefifi]

Thanks for the feedback Iris!

I can appreciate the point you made about both mental dialogue (I am working on trying to incorporate this a bit more in my new stuff), and about the plausability of Sophie and Jacks relationship...I guess I'm just a dreamer who likes to believe in a happy ending...although a 'warts and all' story would be pretty funny to write!

Thanks again

Madamefifi