Feedback for first story - slow burn with plot, D/s dynamics

[tachikoma]

Hi All, new writer here.

I've been writing a story for a little while now, very slow burn, and I'd like to get some feedback to get a sense of the quality. The snippet I'm posting here is from Chapter Six.

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[joy_of_cooking]

Hard to talk about pacing or plot from this excerpt but the sentence and paragraph level stuff seems solid. I'd read more.